


Interwoven Lovers

by TaylorLives



Series: With Every Fiber of Love [1]
Category: Clexakru - Fandom, Elyza Lex (Fanverse), QTWD, The 100 (TV), queer the walking dead
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Blurred lines between whats real and whats fake, Canon-Typical Violence, Concussions, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, F/F, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, I should probably be tagging this as, Jealous Clarke, Jealous Elyza, Marijuana, Multi, Oops, Suicidal Thoughts, Underage - Freeform, Wax Play, also, because Alicia is 17, ranya
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-09
Updated: 2016-09-22
Packaged: 2018-05-25 15:40:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 63,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6201040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaylorLives/pseuds/TaylorLives
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"In a different life, I was the Commander of 12 clans, and Anya was my second in command, but then she got killed. Shortly after, I got killed too, by my fleimkepa. I was then reincarnated, and by a twist of fate, I ended up finding my second, my soulmates doppleganger, and my bodyguard."</p><p>OR...</p><p>While fighting a group of walkers that came out of nowhere, Alicia Clark gets a concussion and starts to remember things from her past life as Commander Lexa. Based off of this prompt that I received on Tumblr: "Could you write something about Elyza Lex saving Alicia Clark and Alicia getting a head injury and slowly remembering things from the 100 world?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Head Trauma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I briefly mentioned in the tags, I haven't written anything in a very long time. I am quite the beginner but I'm really trying because this was a great prompt. You can always come yell at me about things on tumblr: heda-over-heels-in-love.tumblr.com

_It had been, maybe close to 7 hours, Alicia guessed, since they left from Strand’s beach home. They were down one member of their party, Liza, and down a lot of hope as well. Nick had heard the guards talking about a settlement stationed near Costa Mesa that wasn’t under military command, and they figured that was a good place to aim for, as long as it isn’t infested by the time they get there._

_Travis had them up at sunrise to begin their 50 km journey, choosing to stay along the coast where he hoped less people, alive or dead, would be. Travis hadn’t expected though, to get totally thrown off track by a group of walkers outside Los Alamitos Medical in Seal Beach._

* * *

 

 “Alicia! Alicia hold on!” Madison yelled as she pushed back a walker. Alicia scrambles backwards away from her mother. “Look out,” Ofelia calls in Alicia’s direction. She has just enough time to whip around and see a piece of a cinder block; flying straight at her head. Darkness.

 

_In peace, may you leave the shore. In love, may you find the next. Safe passage on your travels, until our final journey on the ground. May we meet again,"_

 

_She can't move; her arms feel pinned down. She struggles, twisting to the side in an attempt to break free. Her eyes are open, but she can't see anything. She feels an excruciating pain rip through her torso, beneath her sternum. She feels pressure where the pain is, and moisture dripping down her sides. Images of the forest break through the darkness. A flash of blonde hair and bright eyes. The sound of a young woman crying. She sounds familiar._

 

_“We must complete the ritual, the commander’s spirit must be passed on. This is my purpose,” A deep voice says. She doesn't hear it, but feels it in her mind. “It's what the commander wanted,” The voice says again._

 

 _Blood, everywhere. Hundreds of charred bodies flood her vision. “Commander,” she hears. It’s a sweet voice, yet it's said with force. The same voice she had heard crying, perhaps. “Yu gonplei ste odon, Leksa kom Trikru… Gonplei kom Heda kigon feva.” It’s not english, but she understands;_ Your fight is over, Lexa kom Trikru… The Commander’s fight goes on.

 

_“What are you doing” she hears, among sobs. The girl. She feels her stomach drop. Her body is being flipped over. She puts out her hands to land on, but they don't move._

 

_“The sacred symbol,” she hears, from a new voice this time, yet it is still familiar. “What are you doing,” the girl asks._

_She feels a blade slice through the skin at the nape of her neck, followed by a pulling sensation. “What is that,” the girl asks, but it's very quiet now. Everything is going fuzzy, the voices are distant and the pain that had felt so real begins to change, into a new type. It feels more internal. Inside her head. Her head. The cinder block._

 

Alicia wakes with a jolt, her head bumping the ground, sending a wave of pain through her. She groans and opens her eyes, sitting up on her elbows. A wave of nausea rolls over her and she clenches her eyes shut tight. She swallows down the rising bile in her throat and tries again, this time opening her eyes slowly and saying still. It’s quite dark, but Alicia can see that she’s in some type of clothing store. The kind of store that tourists buy their ‘I heart LA’ shirts from. A large shopping window to her left is covered with garbage bags and cut up pieces of cloth.

She pushes off her elbows into a sitting position, and her head throbs in protest. Her hand automatically shoots up to her forehead to assess the damage. Alicia is surprised to feel the soft cloth of a bandage around her head. All of the sudden the memories of her dreams come rushing back all at once. She gently brings a hand up to the back of her neck. The dream had felt so real, she was almost surprised that there was no cut under her fingers. She checks her sternum next, and nothing. Alicia tries to recall her dreams but they are slipping away almost as fast as they had appeared. Movement out of the corner of her eye pulls her out of her thoughts. She looks around quickly, looking for something to defend herself with when..

 

“And she has finally woken up,” Alicia jumps and turns toward the direction of the voice, but the sudden movement jostles her brain and she feels the bile rising again. She clenches her eyes, and covers her eyes with a groan.

 

“Yeah, sorry about that,” the voice says again. Something about the smugness in her voice makes Alicia wonder if she knows her. “You have a bit of a concussion,” she adds, leaning against the opposite wall.

 

Alicia opens her eyes and she sees a blonde girl, older than her, but still younger than Ofelia. She’s wearing dark ripped jeans with work boots and a light blue t-shirt under a scraped up leather jacket. The girl has a long necklace with what looks to be a small brass gear hanging from it. “Clarke” She thinks. She has no idea where it comes from.


	2. With Every Fiber of Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for all the positive feedback on the last chapter! It really inspires me to keep going. I wrote this while listening to 
> 
> "Arctic" by Sleeping at Last and "Broadripple is Burning" by Margot and the Nuclear So & So's.  
> They might accompany the piece well, give it a try ;)
> 
> Funfact: I named this "Interwoven Lovers" because Space and Time are interwoven.

 

Alicia has been hearing the name _Clark,_ all of her life. It’s her last name. She even has teachers address her by her last name, but now, sitting before this girl, it fills her with a different sense of familiarity.

 

The girl pushed herself off the wall and walks over to Alicia, dropping into a squat at the end of the sleeping bag she is in.  

“I’m Elyza Lex,” the girl says, extending a hand in Alicia’s direction. She hesitates, but shakes her hand anyways. It’s warm.

“Alicia Clark,” she says, surprised by how foreign her own name sounds on her lips.  

“Well, Alicia Clark,” she says, clicking the ‘k’ in her name. “Welcome back to the world of the living!” she exclaims with a smile. Elyza lets her hand go, and rolls back into a sitting position. Alicia shutters at the thought of death.

 

“Where are we? What happened?” Alicia asks, looking around the shop again. It looks like this place has been abandoned for a while. _How long has this disease been going around?_  She wonders.  Elyza sits up, crossing her legs underneath herself.

“So,” she begins, clasping her hands together.  “I had just finished making sure this area was clear,” Elyza says, gesturing to the store.

“ When I heard some yelling. Last thing I wanted to do was deal with a group of looters, so I cautiously went to the source of the noise, where I found you. The group of people you were with were quite far from you, and you were loosing a lot of blood, so I dragged you back here, stitched you up, and that's all she wrote.” Elyza explains.  Alicia touches the gauze on her head again.

“You gave me stitches?” Alicia asks, surprised, “and I didn't feel it?” Elyza raised an eyebrow.

“It sure as hell looked like you felt it,” she says with a light laugh,

“You were quiet, but you had tears streaming down both cheeks. I felt kinda bad actually, but you kept crying even after I finished so I wasn't sure it was my fault,” Elyza added, running a hand through her blonde hair. Her hair looks like it hasn't been washed in weeks; her locks spun together in what looks like a very early stage of dreadlocks.  

 

Her dreams! Flowing in and out of her brain at such a speed that she can barely hold on to them for more than a few seconds. The more time passed, the more distant they became. Alicia needed to write this down. “Elyza!” She exclaims, “You wouldn't happen to have paper and a pen do you?” She asks. Elyza seems surprised by the sudden change of emotion.

“I do actually,” she says, getting  up and going to a small duffle bag at the edge of the room. Elyza starts shuffling through her bag. She pulls out a rifle and lays it on the floor beside her. Next she pulls out a shotgun, a smaller bag, and a leather bound book. Elyza shoves the rest of her belongings back into her bag, and walks back over to Alicia, sitting right next to her this time.  She slides the journal into Alicia’s lap and begins searching her pockets for a pencil.  

Alicia shivers at the close proximity of the girl beside her. Elyza has streaks of eyeliner smudged down her cheeks, as if she has been crying, or like she just rubbed it off. Alicia hopes it isn't the former. She looks so familiar, but Alicia can't place it, not that she can dwell on it too long. Elyza is holding up a pencil for her, but she doesn't take it. Momentarily hypnotized from being so close to her, their faces only a few inches apart.

“Do I know you from somewhere?” Elyza whispers, breaking the moment of silence.  “I- I don't know… I don't think so,” Alicia stammers quietly. _I would remember eyes like that._ Alicia thinks, and blushes with the thought. Alicia new girls were beautiful, and she has thought about them in more ways than one, but she never read too deeply into it.

Her heart is beating fast. Fast enough that she’s surprised that Elyza doesn't notice, well maybe she does. If she does notice she doesn't say anything, just offers a sweet smile. Alicia takes the pencil from Elyza’s hands, and turns her attention to the journal in her lap. Elyza takes the journal from her lap and flips to a free page near the back. Alicia sees pages upon pages of beautiful sketches. She sees one that looks like a large tower, and one of an older man. Elyza nudges Alicia’s hand with her own, signaling to take the book.

“I’m going to grab you some water,” Elyza whispers, getting up to give Alicia some privacy.

Alicia immediately starts scribbling down what she remembers from her dream;

 _In peace may you…_ something _, Something about love… Journey on the ground?_

_May we meet again._

_Bright eyes, and forests. The girl crying about some type of ritual.  Something about a “sacred symbol”  Cut on her neck, pain by her sternum. “Yu gonplei ste odon” it's not english but she knows what it means._

Alicia closes the journal and rubs a hand over her face. She has no idea what to make of all this, all she knows is that her head hurts (physically and emotionally) and she needs to sleep.

“Here’s your journal” Alicia says as Elyza comes back into view. She puts the notebook down by her feet on the floor. “ I need to get some sleep” she says, rubbing her eyes.

 

“ I don't blame you,” Elyza begins, “I'll be right here if you need anything” she says in a softer voice this time.  Both girls crawl into their sleeping bags, maybe a yard away from each other. Alicia’s eyes close, but the butterflies she didn't realize were there, kept fluttering in her stomach.  

“Goodnight Alicia,” Elyza whispers from her side of the room. “Goodnight Elyza,” Alicia smiles, as she drifts into a deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed <3 Feel free to leave suggestions and/or constructive criticism. Y'all are great!


	3. Two Sides of The Same Coin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had some issues with inspiration on this chapter, but I pushed through, and I like how it came out!  
> I specifically don't use Alicia's name, or Lexa's in the dream parts, because she isnt fully Alicia but she isnt Lexa either. There are so many parallels in this chapter its not even funny. 
> 
> I blame @artsypolarbear for the way I'm writing Lindsi (Raven)
> 
> Elyza is Clarke's equivalent, Lindsi is Raven's and Christofer is Monty's.

_Darkness engulfs her again. She hears indistinguishable chatter in the distance. It gets closer, and louder. It's all around her, a mesh of words and_ screams. _Louder, louder, then silence._

_“...What happened to number 8” a single voice asks from right behind her. She’s laying down, someplace warm; she feels fingers on her spine. She shivers but her body doesn't react. She rolls over, but her body moves as if it’s pre programmed. She is met with a pair of the most beautiful blue eyes she's ever seen, but she can't make out a face. Everything else is out of focus, the edge of her vision is black, and slowly closing in._

_“Can we talk about something else,” another voice whispers, a different one_

_than before. It must be her voice, she concludes._

_“We don't have to talk at all,” the other voice says, the smirk in her tone very apparent._

 

_She feels her body roll over toward the other woman, getting closer, they press their foreheads together. Her vision is getting darker and darker, until her vision fades away. The presence of the woman beneath her disappears. She no longer feels the soft, warm blankets on her, she feels cold._

 

 _She's standing now, she feels warmth flood her front._ A fire, _she guesses. She is not alone, the girl, she can just tell that it's her. She begins to see in front of her now, she sees a few huts, surrounded by forest.  She tries to move, but she can't. She's not surprised._

_“I lost someone special to me too,” she feels the words leave her mouth. There was a pause. “Her name was Costia,” as soon as the words left her mouth she was ripped out this reality. She feels like she's falling, but she can't reach out to steady herself. She's free falling, so fast._

_“Costia” she hears the name again. Her stomach flips and her heart beats faster, she's still falling. The sensation of falling stops, and without any time to adjust, she's shoved into the next reality._

_This time her vision is perfectly clear.  She’s in some sort of bedroom. It looks familiar. There is a bed in the middle of the floor, with a stone wall to the left of it. The wall has pieces cut out in an intricate pattern. There are hundreds of candles, some on stands, some hanging from the ceiling and some on pieces of furniture. They are unlit but the room was bright, there was a window behind the stone wall. A tall, bald man stands facing her at the end of the bed. Time unfreezes._

 

_“Don't make her pay for your mistakes as costia did” Her body starts making it's way towards this man. He looks familiar too._

_“My mistakes? Azgeda cut off Costia’s head, and delivered it to my bed.” She says with an incredible amount of force. She feels like she's in a movie. She can't control her body, only her mind._

 

 _“And_ ** _still_** _, I let them into my alliance,_ ** _I_** **_am more than capable_** _of separating feelings from duty.” She spits._

 

 _Her heart beating at an alarming rate. She doesn't even know what she's talking about, she just opens her mouth and these words come out. Maybe she does know what she's talking about. She searches her mind._ Costia, Costia. Where have I heard that name before? _She thinks. Everything begins to fade again._ Why is this happening to me? _She wonders, frustrated._ Whats going on? _A tear slips down her cheek with defeat. Finally in control of her body again, in this black void, Alicia curls into a ball, and drifts to sleep._

  
  
  


Alicia slowly begins regaining consciousness. A hand is covering her mouth, and another on her upper stomach. Panic begins to bubble up inside her, but she opens her eyes anyways.

 

Elyza is standing over her, with her duffle bag over her shoulder. She looks around cautiously before lifting her hand off of Alicia’s stomach. She presses a finger over her lips, signaling Alicia to stay quiet. Alicia nods silently, and Elyza takes her hand off her mouth. She quietly helps Alicia into a sitting position, then leans in, her lips only a few centimeters from her ear.

 

“There’s a walker by our exit. We need to get out of here,” She breathes out. Alicia shivers, goosebumps appearing on her neck. She nods and slides out of her sleeping bag.

 

Elyza quickly rolls up the bag and hooks it to her bag. Using a countertop as balance, Alicia pulled herself up, and cursed quietly when a wave of vertigo washed over her. Elyza came up, grabbing her elbow to steady her, then leaned in again.

 

“The front is clear,” Elyza declared as quiet as possible. “We can get out that way, and we can head back to my group,” She whispers nodding towards the front of the store.

“What about my family?” Alicia hisses back. Their attention is torn away when they hear groans coming from the back of the shop, and the sound of metal hitting metal. Elyza tenses up.

“We don't have time to talk about that right now, Alicia, it's getting in, and it doesn't sound like it's alone anymore,” she says, grabbing Alicia’s wrist and dragging her through the front entrance of the shop.

 

Elyza pulls her out of the store and breaks into a sprint, letting go of Alicia’s wrist once she knows she's keeping up. She pulled her duffle bag higher up on her shoulder, and looked back to make sure Alicia was still with her. The girls ran for a few more minutes, then slowed down into a jog, then into a walk.

 

“So about my family,” Alicia huffs, catching her breath. “I need you to take me back to them” She mutters. Alicia was more than capable of getting herself back to where she had last seen her family, but with all the walkers she wasn't as confident. Elyza didn't need to see her weakness though. She can handle herself. Elyza sighed and stopped walking.

 

“I don't know what caused all those walkers to pour out of the hospital, but I’m almost positive that the PCH* is full of them now. It's been a day, even if your family wanted to stay and wait for you there, the walkers drove them out by now. It's too risky.”

 

“I'll go find them myself then,” Alicia challenged, putting her hands on her hips. She secretly hoped Elyza would stop her. She scolded herself mentally for thinking such a silly thing. She's known this girl for, what, 24 hours? _But it feels like so much longer_ , A voice nags in the back of her mind.   

 

“Without food, water, or a weapon?” Elyza scoffed. “As if, Princess” She says, turning to begin their walk again. Alicia blushed at her new nickname. Elyza walked a few more feet, her hips swinging, not that Alicia was watching or anything. She turned around, “You coming?” She asked, biting her lip. Elyza didn't wait for an answer, just kept walking.

  


* * *

 

  


The girls arrived at the house 5 minutes later, not having said a word since their last interaction. They needed to be quiet anyways, Alicia told herself.

 

“Here we are, Elyza says, and Alicia can hear the smile in her voice. “Home sweet home” she mutters, her tone bordering on bitter.

 

“Is this your house, or are you just camping out here,” Alicia asks. It was a modest sized house. It had a small brick walkway that lead up to the doors. To the left of the walkway, was a garage with two metal doors.  

 

“Well it's my mom’s house, but Lindsi and I have been staying here.” Elyza explains, walking up to the door.

 

“Lindsi?” Alicia asks. She mentally cursed herself for asking such a dumb question. Lindsi was obviously Elyza’s sister, or girlfriend or something. She felt a pang in her heart at the word “girlfriend”. _‘what the hell is my issue’_ Alicia asked herself. She feels like she's arguing with herself, all these feeling coming out of nowhere.

 

“Lindsi’s been my best friend for a while now,” Elyza shoved her key into the door, but hesitated. “She can be a little… blunt sometimes,” Elyza adds, pushing the door open.

The inside of her house is just as cozy as Alicia had imagined. There were big paintings hanging on the side of a staircase. A worn couch sat in front of a fireplace.

 

A girl in a black tank top and camo cargo pants, sat on it, her hair was long and dark with light streaks. Her legs draped over a large man. He had long hair that was tied back, and a large tribal looking tattoo on the right side of his face.  

 

Behind the couch, and towards the back of the room, was the dining room. There sat a brunette, whos long dark hair was pulled up into a ponytail. She was sitting across from a guy, and they were working on some type of radio. Elyza shuts the door behind them and the girl on the couch looks up.

 

“Elyza! Where the fuck have you been? It's been two days,” she shouts, pushing herself off the couch, bring Elyza in for a hug.  “and who are you?” the woman asks, looking at Alicia questioningly. “I’m Alicia,” She says holding a hand out. The woman takes it, “I’m Anya,” she says with a grin. Anya walks back over to the couch and plops down.  

“Elyza, what did I say about picking up girls off the side of the road,” A voice calls from the dining room. “We all know what happened last time you did that,” she teased. Elyza turned to Alicia, with the smallest trace of a blush on her cheeks. “And that would be Lindsi,” She said.

 

“First of all, she wasn't on the side of the road, she was in the middle. And second, go fuck yourself,” Elyza quipped, as she dropped her bag down on the floor next to the couch. “Someone hit a sore spot,” Anya laughed. Elyza glared at her.

 

“That's Christofer in the back,” Elyza pointed to the guy next to Lindsi, changing the subject. “Call me Chris,” he says

 

“and this is Gustus,” Elyza taps him on the head as she walks into the kitchen. “Make yourself at home,” she called, now out of sight. “I’m Alicia,” She says shyly, standing in the doorway. Chris gives her a wave without looking up from his work. Gustus just looks at her. He looks familiar too. Anya and Gustus go back to their conversation.  

 

“So what happened to your head?” Lindsi asks, looking her up and down. She self-consciously crosses her arms. “Lindsi!” Elysa scolds, her mouth muffled like she's eating. She comes into the room and whacks Lindsi on the back of her head, a piece of her sandwich hitting the floor.

 

“What, I was just asking!” Lindsi says with a pout. Alicia is about to protest, when Elyza waves her over. She obeys, crossing the room behind the couch, over to Elyza and Lindsi. “Okay so heres whats going on,” she says as she finishes the last bite of her sandwich. Elyza explains to the group how she found Alicia and how they need to get her back to her family.

 

“Have any idea where they were heading?” Chris asked. “Yeah,” Alicia begins. “They were going down to Costa Mesa. They heard about a secure neighborhood that wasn't under military control” Lindsi snorts. “Hard to find one of those nowadays.”

“Well why don't we just go down there and see if they show up,” Anya offers.

 

“I don't see why not,” Elyza says, looking at Alicia for her answer. “Yeah I guess” Alicia confirms.

 

“Great,” Elyza beams. “It's around noon time now, so we could probably get going today. I need to check your stitches and rebandage your head first though,”

 

“Can I talk to you for a minute first Elyza,” Chris asked, looking up for the first time since they got here.

 

“Sure, uh, Alicia, can you go up to the bathroom, and take your bandage off for me? It's upstairs, first door on the left. I'll be up in a sec,”

 

Chris offered a weak smile to Alicia, as she went up the stairs.

Anya and Gustus joined them in the dining room.

“What is it,” Elyza asked after she heard the bathroom door close. Chris looked at Lindsi and sighed.

 

“Look, we aren't prepared, to take this girl to Costa Mesa. How are we gonna get there?” Chris starts.  

 

“It's only a 4 hour walk, Chris, come on”

 

“It's not the walk I'm worried about,” He says, rubbing a hand over his face.

 

“Chris is right,” Lindsi adds. “It's too dangerous, too many things could go wrong. We can't make this radio for you to contact your mother, if we’re dead.”

 

“I'll take her myself then!” Elyza declared.

 

“Why are you so attached to this girl?” Lindsi demanded.

 

Elyza sighed in defeat. “I just, I feel like I know her from somewhere,”

 

“Maybe you were lovers in another life,” Gustus suggested, and Anya laughed.

 

Elyza shot them a look.  “If it's really that important, we’ll come with you,” Anya offered, gesturing to Gustus who nodded.

 

“I mean, we can't just _not take her_. I appreciate it.” Elyza says, resting her hand on Gustus’ shoulder.

 

“Will you two be okay here alone?” Elyza asked, turning her attention to Chris and Lindsi. She scoffed. “I'm offended Elyza,” Lindsi says with mock concern. Chris just nodded.

 

“Well, Anya, Gustus, get your stuff together. I gotta go check Alicia’s stitches,” Elyza explained.

 

“Don't forget to use protection!” Lindsi called to Elyza as she made her way up the stair.

 

“That doesn't even make sense!”

 

* * *

 

 

Alicia had just finished removing her bandage when she heard a knock at the door.

“Come in” she called. Elyza came in with a huff. She was no longer wearing her leather jacket, or t-shirt, infact all she was wearing was a tight grey tank top and  her ripped black jeans.

 

“What was that all about,” Alicia asked hesitantly. “Sit on this counter for me,” Elyza says, ignoring her question. She does as she's told, pulling herself up on the marble countertop. Elyza sighs, pulling her long hair into a messy bun at the top of her head, exposing a small tattoo that she has on her left collarbone.

 

It was a black infinity symbol, but there was a hole, as if a piece had been scratched away, so the symbol was incomplete. Elyza turns on the faucet and washes her hands. _“The sacred symbol”_ A voice says in her head. Without thinking she hits the non-wounded side of her head with her palm. _Get out!_  She thinks. Elyza gives her a strange look. “The hell was that” She asked concerned. Alicia just shakes her head.

 

“Chris and Lindsi didn't think it would be a good idea for all of us to take you to Costa Mesa,” Elyza starts, as she dries her hands. “So just Gustus, Anya, and I will be taking you.” She reached under the sink and pulled out a first aid bag. Alicia felt a wave of guilt rush over her.

 

“I'm sorry, that all this happened,” Alicia said looking down. Elyza placed the bag between Alicia and the sink. She came over and stood in front of Alicia, putting her hands on her Alicia’s knees. “Look at me,” Elyza says, and Alicia complies, looking up at her.

 

“This wasn't your fault, and I certainly don't mind, Costa Mesa is only a 4 hour walk. We’ll get you there today, find your family, and then we’ll,” She paused.  “We’ll go our separate ways, I guess,” Elyza said.

 

The last thing Elyza wanted to do was go their separate ways, but she doesn't have much choice in the matter. There’s no way she could convince the rest of the group to settle down in some neighborhood.

 

“Now let me take a look at your head,” she says. Elyza nudges Alicia’s thighs apart, so she can get closer. Alicia blushed at the sudden closeness, she can feel the heat radiating off Elyza. Elyza presses in closer, to reach over Alicia to get to her bag. She hears Alicia’s breath hitch, and she smirks. She reaches into her bag and pulls out a flashlight, cotton balls, and hydrogen peroxide.

 

“First of all, Elyza says, “Close your mouth, you're going to catch flies.” She smirks. Alicia flushes, she hadn’t noticed that her lips had parted.   

 

“Second,” she says quieter. “Focus on my nose” and Alicia does just that. Elyza lifts each of Alicia’s eyelids, shining the flashlight at them, briefly.  “Okay,” she says more to herself, tossing the flashlight back into the bag.

 

“Lean your head back for me, now. I wouldn't want to get peroxide in those lovely eyes of yours,” she smiled. Alicia rolls her eyes. “Do you flirt with all the girls you find on the side of the road?” She asks, quoting Lindsi from earlier.

 

“Only the pretty ones,” Elyza countered with a wink, she smile never faltering. Alicia glared at her, but tilted her head back. Elyza pours some peroxide on a cotton ball, and goes to clean Alicia’s wound. She realized that she might not have thought this through. She isn't tall enough to reach Alicia’s forehead with her leaning back like that. She thinks for a moment,

 

“Scooch back,” she commands, pushing on Alicia’s thighs. She does what she's told, and leans her head back again. Elyza crawls up onto the counter and puts one of her knees on the surface between Alicia’s legs and her other knee on the other side of her thigh, straddling it. Alicia looks at her, waiting for an explanation.

 

“I couldn’t reach,” she says with a shrug. Elyza cleans off her wound, and re-bandages it, then hops down. “You're all done,” she says patting Alicia on the knee.  “I'm going to take a shower, but you can hang out in my room, or you can go back down stairs.” She helps Alicia off the counter.

 

“I'll just go back to your room I guess”

 

“Okay it's the room right at the end of the hall,” Elyza opens the door and points. “I'll be out in a bit”

 

Alicia makes her way to Elyza’s room and opens the door. The room has a queen sized bed on the back wall, and a desk adjacent to it. The walls are covered with drawings and paintings and other various types of art. Alicia lays down on her bed, already tired again. The ceiling is a mural, painted with gardens and trees and flowers. Alicia drifts off into sleep.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *PCH - Pacific Coast Highway
> 
> !!!Follow my Tumblr, I make a post every time I update this!!! @heda-over-heels-in-love


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter got weird... Trigger Warning for suicide mention and drug mention.

Alicia woke a little while later to the door opening. Elyza came in, her blonde hair now wet, hanging over her shoulders. She was only wearing a towel, that came down mid thigh, exposing a tattoo. It was a cluster of flowers, mainly roses, with a ribbon near the bottom with something written on it. Alicia was too far away to make it out. 

She groaned, throwing an arm over her face. She was too tired to deal with Elyza and her mile long legs. She would end up saying something dumb, or something she would regret. 

“Are you still tired” Elyza asked, concerned. She came over and sat on the edge of her bed. “Yeah” Alicia groaned into her elbow. “What time is it?” She could smell her shampoo wafting off of her.

 

“1:15. Have you felt this way all day?” 

 

“Yeah, I just feel really drained.” Alicia takes her arm off her face. 

 

“Do you have a headache?” 

 

“Mmhm” Alicia nodded. 

 

“Have you been having weird dreams?”

 

Alicia perked up at that. “Yeah, really weird dreams.” She sat up and closed her eyes, she felt dizzy. 

 

“Dizzy too?” Elyza questioned. Alicia nodded. “What are these dreams about?” 

 

Alicia opened her eyes. “Don't you wanna put on some clothes or something?” 

 

“Nope,” Elyza said popping the ‘p’. She tucked the top of her towel into itself and began working on a french braid.  

 

“I don't really know where to begin,” Alicia picked at her chipping nail polish. She could have sworn that Elyza was flexing her arms.  Elyza raised her eyebrows, urging Alicia to continue.  

 

“It feels like I'm watching a movie from inside the main character's body. Like it's in this girl's point of view. I know it's not real, but I felt real pain. It's always this same girl. It's hard to make stuff out, but I can always hear pretty well,” Elyza gets up and goes to her dresser. “Keep going, I’m listening,” Elyza drops her towel and Alicia looks away. “There was this girl, and she was crying and she sort of sang a song. I don't remember exactly how it goes, something like  _ In peace may you…  _ something,  _ In love may you find the next…  _ something something,  _ May we meet again.”  _  Elyza finished getting dressed and joined Alicia on the bed again. Elyza swallowed, 

 

“Was it  _ In peace, may you leave the shore. In love, may you find the next. Safe passage on your travels, until our final journey to the ground. May we meet again, _ ” She asked. Alicia’s eyes widened. “Yeah, that was it. How do you know that?” 

 

“My mom used to sing that to me before bed,” She explained. 

 

“Where’s your mom now?” Alicia asked quietly. Elyza shifted uncomfortably. 

 

“She went up to DC, she’s a surgeon. She left about a month before this place went to shit, and now that there’s no cell service, I have no way of knowing if she's okay.” Elyza said simply. 

 

They were quiet for a minute. “I lost my boyfriend, Matt.” Alicia whispered. Elyza looked up, “To the disease?” She asked, and Alicia nodded. Elyza coughed. She didn't like dealing with feelings, especially her own. 

 

“Can I get Gustus about your dream thing?” Elyza asked, changing the subject. “You definitely have a concussion, but this dream thing isn't normal. He’s into all that spiritual stuff.” Alicia nodded, glad for the change of subject. She didn't like to dwell on what happened to Matt. Hell, she doesn't even really  _ know _  what happened to Matt. 

 

“Yeah, sure.”   Elyza got up and left the room, leaning against the door after she shut it. She takes a deep breath, compressing all her feelings back down. First her dad, and now her mom. Lindsi tried to convince her that her mom was fine, but what's the use. 

 

It's not like she’s ever going to see her again anyways. Lindsi had spent days trying to pry that information about her mother out of her, and she just spilled to this girl she's known for a day. Alicia was going to ruin her. 

 

Elyza pads down the stairs back into the living room.  “You both ready?” Anya asked as Elyza came through the doorway. Anya was cleaning off two long swords, similar to katanas. “Almost. This is going to be a little more complicated than I thought. She has a minor concussion and is having really weird lucid dreams, which is actually why I came down.” Elyza said, shifting her focus to Gustus. “You need to hear about this.”

 

Alicia sits on the bed, picking at her fingers when Gustus barges in with Elyza behind him. He grabs the chair from Elyza’s desk and pulls it up to the edge of the bed. Gustus studied her before sitting down. Elyza sits on the desk. 

 

“You need to tell me everything you remember from these dreams,” Gustus demands, in a quiet voice. Alicia nods and does just that. She talks about the song, and how she felt pinned down. She begins explaining the part about the ritual and sacred symbol when Gustus stops her. “Elyza, could you give us a minute?” He shoots her a pleading look. She nods and exits the room, closing the door behind her. 

 

“Now this  _ Sacred Symbol _ , what did it look like” he asks, turning his attention back to Alicia. “An infinity symbol, like the one on Elyza’s chest, but it's complete, unlike hers.” Gustus nods. Alicia goes through and tells him everything, like how he and Elyza looked familiar. How Elyza reminded her of the girl in the bed. She describes yelling at the bald man, and the pain in her sternum, and the back of her neck. 

 

“Titus,” Gustus mutters. Hearing the name sparked a whole new set of images to run through her head. Her head began throbbing and she clenched her eyes shut grinding her teeth. 

 

_ She sees Titus again, in the same bedroom as before. “Your feelings for Clarke put both of you in danger,” He says. “The kill order must be fully enforced. If you care for Clarke you will send her home. That's the only way you'll be safe. Don't make her pay the price for you mistakes as Costia did.”  _

 

_ The scene shifts. She’s standing next to her bed. The girl, Clarke, she assumes stands in front of her. She still can't see her face, it's fuzzy. “When do you leave,” she asks. “Now” Clarke says. She nods.  Clarke comes up to her. “I'm so sorry” Clarke says. “Don't be, you have to go back, they’re your people. That’s why I l-... That's why you're you,” She says. Clarke nods, “Maybe someday you and I will owe nothing more to our people,” _

 

_ “I hope so” She reaches down and takes Clarke’s forearm in her hand, and Clarke does the same. “May we meet again,” She says and suddenly Clarke’s lips are on hers and nothing else matters. Clarke is pouring all her emotions into this kiss and she has never felt such pure love. She pulls away, a tear rolls down her cheek, but in an instant Clarke is kissing her again. Untying the top of her shirt and pulling her bra straps down.  Clarke pushes her down on her bed and she looks up at her, before nodding. Clarke pushes her back down on her bed. Everything slowly starts to fade away, she feels kisses peppering her neck, hands in her hair, but it's too late. The images fade.  _

 

Alicia opens her eyes to see Gustus sitting in front of her, just as she had left him. Tears flow freely down her cheeks. “What  _ was  _ that?” She asked choking on a sob. She pulls her knees up to her chest and lets out another sob. She was overwhelmed never having  felt such raw passion before. “Just as I thought” Gustus said, patiently waiting for Alicia to regain composure again. 

 

“What was like you thought?” She sniffed, having pulled herself together again. “Who’s Clarke and why does she look like Elyza?” She asked. 

 

“Some things you are you going to have to figure out on your own, but I can tell you this,” Gustus paused. “These visions are from a previous life. A previous life in which you died. After you died in that life, you were reincarnated into this one, and hitting your head and seeing Elyza must have made you remember.

 

Alicia looked at him dumbfounded. “How do you know all this?” She demanded. 

“Because,” He said with a sad smile, “The same thing happened to me, and Anya.” 

 

“You  _ died _ ? How? And how did you remember?” She asked. Gustus shook his head. “Yes, but how I died isn't important. Everyone remembers differently. You, from your concussion, Anya from taking certain drugs, and I, through meditation.” He explained. 

 

“Who’s Clarke and why does she look like Elyza? Who was I in this past life?” She asked. Gustus sighed. “That is for you to find out,” he begins. “Clarke was someone very important to you in your past life, but Elyza is a completely different person,” Alicia furrowed her brow. “Clarke is still alive in that life. Elyza is her own person, unlike how who you are now, and who you were, are one and the same. Well,” he pauses “Not exactly one and the same. Your souls are the same, but as people you are not.”

  
  


Alicia nods, taking this all in. “Oh, and one last thing,“ Gustus added. “You can't die.”

She looked at him, puzzled. “I can't die?” She asked.  “Well, you're not immortal or anything, but fate-wise. Since your death was an accident in your past life, you cannot die accidentally in this one. The people around you are also less likely to die.” 

 

“How do I die non-accidentally then?” She quizzed.  “By taking your own life, or old age, and I assume you’ll choose the latter,” He explained. “That being said, you and Elyza will be going on the journey alone.” “What?” She asked, surprised,”I have to protect her?”

 

Gustus laughed. “Of course not, She can protect herself. You’re like a good luck charm, and since you're going, Anya and I don't need to. Besides, I think it will be good for you to have some time alone together.”  Alicia nodded, accepting the fact that she wasn't going to understand all of this in one day.

  
“As for your concussion, you should really wait until tomorrow to leave for Costa Mesa. “ Alicia opened her mouth to protest, “I know Alicia, but they will still be there tomorrow. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapters will focus more on Alicia and Elyza going to Costa Mesa and walkers. 
> 
> Sometimes I use headcannons from these posts: http://bit.ly/1P6Ob0R
> 
> Come say hey @heda-over-heels-in-love on tumblr


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick reminder that Alicia still hasn't seen Clarke's actual face in her dreams.

 

Gustus left Elyza’s room, to see her standing near the stairs. He explains Alicia needing another night to heal, and that he and Anya would not be going on the journey with them.  “That's fine with me,” Elyza shrugged, “You're telling Lindsi though. I don't want her going off on me right now.”

 

“That won’t be a problem”

 

“And what of her dream thing?” Elyza asked.

 

Gustus sighed. “That's something she’s going to need to work on by herself.” Elyza gets the message; _leave it alone_. Elyza rose and began walking to her room. “Thank you Gustus,” She said, Gustus nodded, and went downstairs.

 

Elyza knocked lightly on her door a few times. “Come in,” Alicia called weakly, and Elyza did. Alicia was leaning against the headboard, holding her knees to her chest. Elyza could see a faint trail of tears on her cheeks, but she didn't mention it. She shut her door, and put the chair back to where Gustus found it.

 

“So Gustus explained what was up” she said sitting at the end of the bed. Alicia turned to her, eyes wide. “Not about your dreams, about how we’re going alone tomorrow.” Alicia visibly relaxed. “Probably should have started with it not being about your dreams,” Elyza said and Alicia smiled.

 

Alicia turned towards Elyza, sitting with her legs crossed. She pulled her phone out of her jacket pocket, her eyes widening. “Is it really 4 o’clock already?” She asked in disbelief. Elyza looked at her wrist. “So it is, you were with-” Elyza stopped. “Wait you still have your phone?” She laughed.

 

Alicia blushed. “I do get service in some places, and I have my music on here” she said with a smile.

 

Elyza’s eyes lit up. “Next time you have service can I try and call my mum?”

 

“Of course. Now what were you saying before my technology distracted you?” Alicia smiled.

 

“How do you know it was your technology that distracted me?” Elyza asked with a wink. Alicia lightly kicked her.  “Oh yeah,” Elyza remembered, “You were with Gustus for a while; time flies. That being said, we have to talk about sleeping arrangements.”  Alicia nodded.

 

“Anya and Gustus share the guest room,” Alicia raised an eyebrow. Elyza rolled her eyes and continued, “They’re practically related. Lindsi and Chris share my moms room,”

 

Alicia opens her mouth to say something, but Elyza cuts her off, “Don't even ask me about that one” she laughs “I mean, I don't _hear_ anything, but that doesn't mean nothing's happening.”

 

Alicia laughed, “Think your friends are banging on your mom’s bed.” Elyza was cackling. “ _Banging?_  How old are you, 13?” Elyza gasped between laughs. “Oh shut up! I’m 17, almost 18,” she says matter-of-factly.

 

Elyza stops laughing, “Shit are you really?” She asked. “Yeah, how old did you think I was?” Alicia asked.

 

“I don't know, you look young but I didn't think you were that young,” Elyza shrugged. “I’m not _that_ young. How old are you?” Alicia asked. “I turned 21 two months ago” Alicia nodded. It was quiet for a moment.

 

Elyza laid diagonally across the bed, her feet hanging off the end, her head up near Alicia. She put her hands behind her head.

 

“You're probably right though,” she began, “They probably are fucking in my mum’s bed. Speaking of beds, you're stuck in here with me. I’d offer the couch, but I _know_ that Lindsi had sex there.” Elyza said, staring off into space.

 

“And you know this for certain?” Alicia prodded. Elyza turned her head towards Alicia and smirked, “Yeah, because I’m the one who fucked her there” She said with pride, turning her attention back to the ceiling. She couldn't see Alicia, but she assumed that she was blushing.

 

“Do you bang all your friends?” Alicia joked. Elyza looked at her again, she was blushing, as she thought. “The female ones,” She countered.

 

“So you’re a lesbian?” Alicia asked hesitantly, not wanting to offend the other girl. Elyza snorted, “What gave it away? Me talking about the women I’ve slept with, or the huge rainbow flag on my closet door?”  “I didn't even notice the flag,” Alicia said honestly. “Sorry for all the stupid questions, I don't have much of a filter right now,” Alicia said.

 

“No, I like talking with you, don't stop,” Elyza laughed inwardly when Alicia blushed when she said “don't stop”.  

 

“Well okay,” Alicia said, stretching her legs out on the bed. “Are you dating Lindsi?”

 

“God no,” Elyza rolled onto her side, facing Alicia.

 

“It was one of those things where we were close right off the bat, and I didn't know if it was because we were into each other or if we were just meant to be best friends. One night, when we were 16, I had her sleepover like usual, but it felt different. Weird tension. My mom wasn't home. We drank her wine and fucked on the couch,” She smiled, that was a fun time.

 

She was “experimenting” with her sexuality even though she was pretty sure that she was gay.

 

“The next morning wasn't weird, but it wasn't like,” She paused looking for the right words. “There was no emotion in it, and she felt the same way.”

 

“Did either of you regret it?”

 

“No, it wasn't like that. I don't know Licia, we were both really fucking horny or something,” She laughed.

 

“Did it.. Did it ever happen again?” Alicia asked, looking down at her nails.

 

“Damn Clark, you sure are interested in my sex life,” She said with a smirk. Alicia’s head snapped up at the name ‘Clark’. Her last name, right. She reminded herself.

 

“I- It’s just an interesting story,” She stammered.

 

“No you're right,” Elyza smiled, “I’m just fucking with you.” Elyza sat up, leaning on the wall her bed was up against. She hummed, collecting her thoughts.

 

“There was one more time it happened. We were 19, and  both sober. You know late at night, between like, 3am and 4am, when nothing feels real so you say weird shit without regret?”

 

Alicia knew what she was talking about, but never heard it explained so beautifully before. She nodded.

 

“Yeah well, I brought it up. Asked her if she had feelings for me, she didn't. She asked if I had feelings for her. I didn't either. Then she asked me if I ever thought about doing it again, and I said I did. She did too, and she asked me what it meant. I told her that it didn't need to mean anything, and that was that.” Elyza finished, realizing that she was almost whispering.

 

“That,” Alicia paused, composing her thoughts. She didn't really know what to say, that sort of thing doesn't happen to a lot of people. “That's really special,” Alicia decided.

 

Elyza nodded. She didn’t have feelings for Lindsi, but it was really _special_. It brought them closer in their friendship, which was kinda weird, but it was true. Elyza felt her braid to see if it was dry. It was.

 

“Your turn,” Elyza said, pulling the elastic out of her hair.

 

“My turn?” Alicia looked confused.

 

“Your turn to tell me about your relationships.” Alicia swallowed. “Pay back’s a bitch,” Elyza added.

 

Alicia understood now. “Well ask me something then”

 

“Have you ever been with a girl?” Elyza asked smirking.

 

Not in this life, Alicia thought. “I’m straight,” Alicia answered quickly. In this life she was straight.

 

“Mmhm,” Elyza hummed in a mocking tone. Alicia shot her a look, which she brushed off.

 

“Tell me about your first boyfriend then.” She said, pulling her braid apart, letting the waves fall over her shoulders.

“Well my first real boyfriend was Matt,” She began, “I don't mind talking about it though. His death doesn't really feel real to me.” She looked to Elyza, who nodded, telling her to continue.

 

“I feel like there’s not much to tell. We met in the beginning of sophomore year, and began dating at the end. He was an incredible artist,” Alicia said, looking down at the faded heart on her arm.

 

“Have you got a thing for artists?” Elyza quipped, lightening the mood.

 

“Any kind of talent is beautiful,” she says simply. “He took me to my junior prom and I lost my virginity to him that night too,” She said blushing. “He’s- He _was_ a really great guy, I think I even loved him.” Alicia’s smile faltered, She didn't know if any kind of love could compare to the love she felt in her dreams, and it made her feel guilty.  She expected Elyza to tease her or something, but she was quiet.

 

“That's really cute!” She finally says. “I want love like that someday.”

 

‘Love’ felt stale on Alicia’s tongue now. She would agree and say she wants love like that again someday, but she doesn't. She thinks she  wants the love she felt with Clarke. It was quite the internal conflict, she has never had feelings for a girl before, but now she feels like she was _in love_ with one.

 

“Alicia,” Elyza said, snapping her out of her thoughts. Alicia looks up, “Yeah?”

 

“You didn't answer my first question.” Confusion washed over Alicia’s face. “Yes I did, I- Oh. _Oh._ ” She had asked if she had ever _been_ with a girl, not if she was straight.

 

“Yeah, _oh_.”  

 

“It's not really a big deal. I just kissed one once.” She said, remembering. Elyza raised an eyebrow, as if say ‘go on.’

 

“I was 14, and I was at this girl's house, her name was Scotia. Scotia was a year older than us. There were a couple of other girls there too, but I was the only one sleeping over. One girl called Alice suggested we play spin the bottle, and I was confused because there were no boys there to kiss,” Alicia laughed, shaking her head.

 

“But we did. Alice spun first and it landed on a girl named Olivia, and she kissed her. Then I understood. It was my turn next, I spun and it landed on Alice. She kissed me quickly, unlike how she kissed Olivia, I didn't mind though. It was a little weird. Scotia spun next, and it landed on me. Scotia kissed me longer than any of the other girls had.” Alicia looked at Elyza who was watching her with no judgement in her eyes. She looked down at her hands and continued,

 

“A few hours later, the other girls went home, and we went to bed. We shared her bed like we usually did, but she turned to me right before I fell asleep and she asked me if I liked kissing her. I did, so I told her. Then she kissed me again. We kissed for a while actually, she made me _feel._ I think she wanted to go further, but she never said anything, and she never pressured me, so we didn't.” She looked at Elyza again.

 

For a long time, Alicia felt shame, when she told that story. Her parents weren't homophobic or anything, but they did judge her. She could see it in their eyes, but now, sitting here with Elyza, she felt no shame. She saw no judgement in her eyes, only kindness.

 

* “What happened next?” Elyza asked.

 

 “We continued doing that for a couple of months. Sleepovers and kissing, we uh, showered together once, but we didn't _fuck_ or anything,” she says, using Elyza’s word. “We did that for 3 months, but she never asked me out or anything so I figured she wasn't interested in that. When sophomore year started, we didn't have classes together, so I didn't see her much. We just grew apart, then I met Matt.” Alicia ended.

 

“That's a really lovely story,” Elyza whispered. Alicia nodded and yawned.

 

“If you're tired you should rest, Alicia”

 

“What were the sleeping arrangements again Elyza?” She asked, rubbing her eyes. “I wasn't paying attention,”

 

“And you complain about me getting distracted!” She exclaimed. “You can sleep in my bed or the sex couch.”

 

“If I sleep in your bed, then where will you sleep?” Alicia asked.

 

“On the couch, or the floor.”

 

“I’m not going to make you sleep on the floor of _your_ room” Alicia argued.

 

“Couch then,”

 

“Your bed is big. We could share.”

 

“I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable”

 

“You wouldn't,” Alicia promised. Elyza nodded. “As long as you don't mind,” She said, getting off her bed.

 

She went to her dresser and started picking through her sleepwear. She pulled out an over sized band tee, a pair of flannel bottoms and clean panties.

 

“You've been wearing the same things for a while,” Elyza commented, going over to Alicia with the clothes. “You can wear these and I'll put your stuff in the wash. Everything is clean,” She puts the pile down next to her.

 

“Thank you,”

 

“Not a problem,” She goes over to her closet and pulls out an empty laundry basket. She grabs it and turns around to see Alicia undressing herself.

 

“You could have fucking warned a girl,” she yells, turning around.

 

“Oh, don't look I'm changing” she deadpans.

 

Elyza rolls her eyes. “A little late for that one sweet cheeks”

 

“I'm done,” Alicia says and Elyza turns around to bring her the laundry basket. Her breath hitches and she bites her lip. Alicia is in her clothes and they look _so good_ on her. Alicia raised an eyebrow questioningly. Elyza comes and puts the basket on her bed.

 

Alicia dumps her clothes in the basket and thanks her again.

“You're welcome.” She says, picking up the basket again. She starts towards the door and opens it. “I'll see you in the morning, Goodnight Alicia” Elyza smiled.

 

“Goodnight Elyza,” Alicia says and the door shuts.

 

Alicia crawls into Elyza’s bed and falls asleep almost immediately.

 

_She opens her eyes to find herself in a forest. There are voices all around her, and it's dark. She see’s lights around, torches, she assumes. Her vision focuses and Clarke is in front of her. She still can't see Clarke’s face, when she tries to look directly at it, her eyes unfocus, and the center of her vision goes dark. She sticks to looking near her instead._

_“What is this” Clarke asked, looking at the people exiting mount weather.  “They're surrendering,” Clarke says, sounding hopeful._

 

_“Not quite,” A man says to her left. She can't turn to look at him._

 

_“What did you do?” Clarke asked.  “What you would’ve done,” She replies, her voice hard, and slightly rushed, “Saved my people.”  Clarke nods in disbelief._

 

_“Where are my people?” Clarke asked, her voice calm, but she can see her fury._

 

_“I’m sorry Clarke,” She told her. “They weren’t part of the deal”_

 

_She turns to the man and cuts the rope binding his arms. “You made the right choice, Commander,” He says, walking away towards the entrance to the mountain.  Clarke looks at her, with hurt in her eyes._

 

_A tall man walks up behind Clarke. “What is this” he asks._

 

_“Your Commander’s made a deal,” Clarke says, not bothering to turn to the man.  “What about the prisoners from the Ark?” He asks._

 

_“They’ll all be killed,” Clarke stated. “But you don't care about that, do you?” She asks, voice wavering._

 

_“I do care, Clarke,” She says immediately, cringing inwardly at how she spits the words.  “But I made this choice with my head, and not my heart. The duty to protect my people comes first,” Clarke shook her head, tears in her eyes. “Please don't do this,” she all but begs. “I’m sorry Clarke,” She repeats._

 

_“Commander, not like this, let us fight,” The man urges stepping towards her._

 

_“No, the deal is done.”  The large metal door to the mountain shuts.  “Teik oso raunnes laud” She commands to a man behind her. A loud horn is blown three times, signaling a retreat.  The man doesn't move._

 

_“You too,"  she tells the man in front of her. “All our people withdraw, those were the terms”_

 

_“They’ll be slaughtered, let me help them” he whispers, out of options._

 

_“Sis em op.” She calls to the men behind her.  Two men come forward to restrain the man in front of her.  He swings at them both, getting a few hits in, before his arms are restrained, and he is taken away._

 

_Clarke looks a her, betrayal written on her face. “May we meet again,” she says as she turns around, walking away. Leaving Clarke there._

 

_The earth fades away to dark around her.  Everything is black, and she feels like she’s floating. She senses people around her, but her vision doesn't return._

 

_“Wanheda defeated the mountain men” A voice says.  “Wanheda, The Commander of Death”_

 

_“Wanheda killed 300 Trikru, in a ring of fire.” Another voice says._

 

_“Azgeda is looking for Wanheda, if you kill her, you gain her power.”_

 

 _“You will find Wanheda, and bring her back to me,_ unharmed _, and I shall lift your banishment.” She hears her own voice say. The words aren't coming out of her mouth though._

 

_She feels the world generate around her. She's sitting. Her vision come back to her and she sees a woman being brought to her._

_“Wanheda, kom ai don swega klin.” The man next to her says, forcing her to her knees. ‘Wanheda, as promised,’ her own voice says in her head. He removes the burlap sack from over her head, and Clarke is standing before her._

 

_She stands, “Hello, Clarke,” She walks down from her throne, in front of the two. “The deal was for you to bring her to me unharmed.” She says, glancing from Clarke to the man next to her._

 

_“She didn't come easy.” He replied._

 

_“I’d expect not.”_

 

_“I’ve done my part, now do yours. Lift my banishment.”  She stares at him._

 

_“I’m told your mother’s army marches on Polis.”_

 

_“That has nothing to do with me,” He says quickly, “Honor our deal.”_

 

_“I'll honor our deal when your queen honors my coalition,” She turns to the guards behind her. “Lock Prince Roan of Azgeda away.” Clarke looks up at him._

 

_“What of Wanheda,” Titus asks._

 

_“Leave us,” She replies. Titus and a woman from behind her leave, but he hesitates. “You heard me.”  Titus looked down at Clarke and left._

 

_“Sis em au na gyon op.” She says to the guards behind Clarke. They come forward and help her up, as commanded, staying close._

 

_“I'm sorry,” she says, removing the cloth from Clarke’s mouth. “That it had to be this way. Had to ensure Wanheda didn't fall into the hands of the Ice Queen,”_

 

_Clarke was breathing hard, her fists clenched._

 

_“War is brewing Clarke, I need you,” Without hesitation Clarke jumps forward and spits in her face. The guards grab her, pulling her backwards._

 

 _“You_ bitch _,” She screeched, trying to get free of the guards. She wiped the spit off of her face._

_“YOU WANT THE COMMANDER OF DEATH!?” She yelled, spit flying from her mouth, still resisting. “YOU GOT HER!” She spat. Clarke let out a loud scream, as she was being pulled from the room._

 

_“I'LL KILL YOU!” She continued screaming as she was dragged down the halls. She could hear her yelling and sounds of distress, echoing off the halls._

 

_The scene when black immediately, no time to adjust._

 

Her eyes flew open, it was dark, and she couldn't see, but she knew she was awake.  She felt like she was being held down. In a panic she shoved whatever was smothering her, hard. The arm over her chest retracted. She sat straight up.  

 

“Oi, fuck me,” A voice groaned from beside her and she jumped. The body beside her moved, and suddenly there was a light next to her face. “What the hell was that? Are you okay?” Elyza asked.

 

The memories of the night before came flooding back to Alicia, and she blushed, embarrassed at her outburst.

 

“Yeah, I was just really disoriented,” she whispered, a tear falling before she had time to register that it was there. She wiped it away quickly, hoping Elyza wouldn't see, but she did.

 

Elyza clicked the flashlight off and sat up too. “Sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I tend to be kind of a clingy sleeper,” She said, referring to the arm she had thrown over Alicia.

 

“No, no, it wasn't that, it was just my dream” she replied, her voice cracking on the word ‘dream’. Elyza laid back down, facing Alicia.

 

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

 

Alicia sighed and laid down too, facing Elyza. “It was all my fault,” Alicia started. “I did a bad thing, and it really effected someone that I l-, That I care about.”

 

Elyza wanted to touch her shoulder, or her hand, something to comfort her, but she didn't want to make her uncomfortable.

“It’s alright,” Elyza decided to rest her hand on top of Alicia’s. “It was only a dream.” She felt Alicia let out a shaky breath. Alicia took Elyza’s hand, grasping it tightly.

 

“I wish it was,” Alicia whispered under her breath. She knows she should tell someone, it would be good for her, but she can't.  She wipes a stray tear away with her free hand.

 

“I don't know if I can go back to sleep,” She whispers to Elyza. Elyza squeezes her hand.

 

“What if I sing something?” Elyza asked in a low voice, “Will that help?”

 

“Maybe,” She replied.

 

Elyza sighs, thinking of a song that Alicia might know.

 

_“Shadows settle on the place, that you left. Our minds are troubled by the emptiness. Destroy the middle, it's a waste of time. From the perfect start to the finish line,”_

 

Elyza begins.

 

_“And if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones. 'Cause most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs. Setting fire to our insides for fun Collecting names of the lovers that went wrong ,The lovers that went wrong.”_

 

_“We are the reckless, We are the wild youth, Chasing visions of our futures, One day we'll reveal the truth, That one will die before he gets there._

 

 _And if you're still bleeding, you're the lucky ones. 'Cause most of our feelings, they are dead and they are gone. We're setting fire to our insides for fun. Collecting pictures from a flood that wrecked our home, It was a flood that wrecked this home.”_ Elyza finishes, hearing light snores from the girl sleeping next to her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The name "Scotia" is an anagram for "Costia"
> 
> The song at the end is "Youth" by Daughter. 
> 
> At the * I almost added a Densi reference, but I didnt think anyone would get it, so I didn't. 
> 
> Follow my Tumblr for story updates: @heda-over-heels-in-love  
> TRANSLATIONS:
> 
> "Teik oso raunnes laud" - "Sound the retreat"  
> "Wanheda" - "Commander of Death"  
> "Azgeda"- "Ice Nation  
> "Wanheda kom ai don swega klin" - "Wanheda, as promised"  
> "Sis em au na gyon op" - "Help her up"


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, It's hard for me to write action, so this chapter was a pain in the ass, but here it is!
> 
> Follow my Tumblr for fic updates: @heda-over-heels-in-love

Elyza woke up first, the sun coming in from her window was shining directly into her eyes. Alicia was hugging her arm, her head on Elyza’s shoulder. Their hands still connected. Elyza checked her watch, it was 11am. They should probably get moving.

 

She nudged Alicia, “Hey,” she whispered. Alicia groaned hiding her face in Elyza’s shoulder. “We should probably get going,” Alicia looked up at that.

 

“Your clothes are washed and they're on my desk,” Alicia nodded. “Thanks” she said.

 

They both got up and got dressed. Alicia wearing her jean shorts with her flannel tied around her waist. She put on her t-shirt and varsity jacket.

 

Elyza was wearing a similar outfit to when they had met; dark jean pants, combat boots, a muscle shirt and her leather jacket. Though, this time, Elyza had a streak of black warpaint going from each eye to her temples, not connected in the middle.  

 

Alicia gave her a strange look, “Is that a normal look for you?”

 

Elyza grinned, “Only when I’m going out.”

 

“Why do you wear it?” Alicia asked. Elyza shrugged. “I don't know. It just feels right.” She replies.

 

Elyza empties the contents of her duffle bag onto her floor and grabs two backpacks from her closet. Alicia sits on her bed, watching.

 

“When I found you, I was on a supply run,” She explained. “A big duffle like this isn't great for travel.” She moves a first aid kit, bottles of water, her journal and pencil, and her guns into the backpack. She put the rest of the contents to the side, to bring downstairs. She puts a few water bottles in the second backpack and hands it to Alicia.

 

“Do you have a weapon?” Elyza asked. Alicia shook her head. “We’re gonna have to get you one then. Do you know how to shoot?” Alicia shook her head again.

 

“Hmm,” Elyza hummed. “I think I’ve got something downstairs that you might like.”

 

“Excuse me?” Alicia gasped. Elyza burst into laughter. “Not like that, you tosser! My fucking garage” she howled. Alicia blushed, “It's not my fault you make everything sound dirty” She muttered.

They collect their stuff and head downstairs. Anya was in front of the mirror in the living room when they came down. Her face lit up when she saw Alicia.

 

“One of us! One of us! One of us!” She chanted, sending her a wink. Elyza opened her mouth to say something, but Alicia cut her off by snorting.

 

“You’re the reason why we can't have nice things, Anya,” Gustus joked, entering the room.

 

They eat breakfast with Lindsi who makes jokes about them fucking all night. Gustus who was sitting next to her, leaned over, “Anya can't wait for you to remember her.” He whispered.

 

They say their goodbyes. “Ste yuj, Heda” Anya whispered as she hugged her goodbye.

“Nou get yu daun, Onya” The words fall from her mouth without thought. Anya’s eyes light up.

 

Elyza lead Alicia into her garage, and flipped the light on. There was a Harley in the middle of the two car garage. The walls were lined with various landscaping tools and mechanic tools.  Elyza picks up a baseball bat with a bunch of huge nails sticking out. There is a sharp railway spike fastened to the top for stabbing.

 

“Will this work” Elyza asked, holding it out to her. Alicia nodded, “Yeah I think it will,”  she said taking it from her. They went out the garage door and began their journey.

* * *

 

 

Elyza had lead them out to the street, and they began going right, the opposite direction of where they had come from the first time.  

 

They walked down the middle of the street, their backpacks on, packed light for their four hour trip. Elyza had her shotgun and ammo in her bag, with her .10mm pistol strapped to her thigh in a thigh holster. They were walking almost shoulder to shoulder. Elyza should sense Alicia’s anxiety.

 

Alicia had her bag filled with water bottles and the first aid kit. Her spiked bat swung over her shoulder.

 

“Have you ever killed one?” Alicia asked, breaking the silence. “A walker, I mean.” She explained.

 

“Course I’ve killed a fucking walker,” She said turning her attention to Alicia.

 

“Lindsi and I found Anya and Gustus while we were going up to CSULB to pick up Chris. They were up by Leisure World for some fucking reason, surrounded by seven biters. Anya had her swords but Gustus was unarmed. When he saw me he almost fell the fuck over, but that's a different story. Anyways, we took ‘em down and brought Anya and Gustus home with us. I take it that you’ve never lynched one of the wankers?”

 

Alicia shook her head, “No. Is there a certain way to do it? I don't know much about these things.”

 

“Okay, so.” Elyza began. “If they scratch you or bite you, you turn. Can take minutes to turn, can take hours. Depends on the person, and there’s no cure obviously. You're going to want to keep your sleeves rolled down. We should have worn gloves, and I probably should have lent you some pants…"

 

“Yeah, that might have been helpful!” Alicia exclaims, shoving Elyza lightly. Elyza laughed and shoved her back.

 

“You need to destroy the fucking brain to kill them. They don't haul ass, but they get around. They’re attracted to noise, which is why I couldn't bring you to Costa Mesa on my bike. That also means we shouldn't shoot unless we _really_ have to. And one last thing,”

 

She stops and turns to Alicia.

 

“You might see somebody that you know. And if you do, you need to understand that the person they were before is fucking gone now. They won't understand you, or remember you. They aren't human anymore, the best thing you can do is put them out of their fucking misery.” Alicia nodded and they started walking again.

 

“You swear a lot,” She commented. Elyza snorted, “Well I’m Australian, I don't know what you bloody expected.”

 

“You don't sound very Australian.”

“I lost most of my accent when I moved here at age 10, but I’m a real dinky die ridgy didge true blue fair dinkum dead set wanker.”

 

Alicia burst out laughing, “I have no idea what you just said.”

 

“That’s alright.”

 

They continued walking in silence. Before long, the road ended, and they took a right onto a main street. There were a surprising lack of people, even in an apocalypse.

 

“Where is everyone?” Alicia asked. “We haven't seen anyone, living or dead.”

 

“Everyone had evacuated,” Elyza explained. “There are zones now, four types. There are the military zones, where people live under military protection. There are ‘live zones’ where people are still living peacefully, because the virus hasn't infiltrated that area yet. ‘Dead zones’, which is where we are now, is an area that had been recently evacuated because of the outbreak. The last kind is ‘no man's land’. That's an area that has been abandoned for a while. All the different zones have different _laws_ ” She says putting  air quotes around ‘laws’.

 

“The military zone is the most strict. They’re all fenced in with curfew and everything. The Live Zone has similar laws to the ones before the outbreak. They can't leave the zone, but they're not trapped there either. The Dead Zone and No Man’s Land don't have law, anything goes. Killing, looting, burning, all of it.”

 

“Should we be worried about looters or anything?” Alicia asked.

 

“Not yet. This area is freshly evacuated so the only ones around are those leaving, and the undead.”

 

“That's reassuring.”

 

“Don't worry Princess, I'll protect you,” Elyza said grinning.

 

The two arrived at a four way intersection. Going to the right would bring them back towards the city. To the right were open fields, with patches of sand.

 

“So,” Elyza began, surveying the area. “We’re going left, over two bridges, but first we should go check out that liquor store.” She said nodding to the small store across the street from them.

 

“I don't know Elyza, it's 12:30, I don't want to get caught out here at night.”

 

“We don't have to stay long, I just wanna see what's up!” She pleads.

 

Alicia rolls her eyes. “Fine, but only for a few minutes”

 

“Yay!” Elyza exclaimed, pulling her across the street.

 

They crossed the street, going up to the front of the building quietly, crouching down. She turned to Alicia, a finger over her lips signaling her to stay quiet. The windows were covered with posters and stickers, making it difficult to see inside. The entrance to the building was on the side of it, next to a bait and tackle shop. She found a space between stickers and peered inside. There was a walker in the store, chained to the back wall.

 

Elyza turns to Alicia, “There a walker inside but it looks like he’s chained to a wall, which is strange, but do you wanna take him out? It’ll be an easy first kill.” She whispered.

 

“I guess” Alicia whispered back. She didn't really like the idea of killing it if it was trapped, it wasn't hurting anyone, but if it were her, she’d want to be put out of her misery.

 

Elyza lead them into the store, still crouched. She pushed the glass door open, relieved that the alarm wasn't on. The walker noticed them immediately, going for them, the chain around it's neck stopping it from getting close.

 

Alicia had never seen one this close before. He was dressed like a normal guy, in jeans and a t-shirt. It was his skin that was really messed up. Patches of it were missing, and his face, _his face_. Alicia stopped in her tracks behind Elyza. She had seen him before, and she wasn't close enough to home to assume she had just seen him on the street or something. On his shirt he wore a name tag, he must have worked here. The name tag read _‘Finn’._  She heard a slight ringing in her ears, her vision was swimming, and she felt like she was going to pass out.

 

“It’s alright Alicia, he can't get to you.” Elyza’s voice echoed in her head, she felt dizzy.

 

“Hey, 'Lica you alright?” Elyza asked walking toward the girl, but she hit the floor, blacking out, before she got close enough.

  


_Everything is dark. Her vision returns to her faster than it ever has. It's dark now. She smells fire burning. She is thrown right into this reality, no time to readjust._

 

_“I’m here to talk to your commander” A voice says from the darkness. She recognizes it instantly; Clarke. There is a pause._

 

_“Let me through,” Clarke says._

 

_“Let her pass” She commands, walking out of the darkness. There’s an army behind Clarke, holding torches. A few hundred yards in front of her, there's what looks to be a large camp.  ‘Arkadia’ her brain fills in the blank for her. A woman holds a spear to Clarke's stomach. The woman lifts the spear at her command._

 

_“You bleed for nothing” She says as Clarke approaches her, stopping to stand directly in front of her.“You cannot stop this.”_

 

_Clarke's face is a blur._

 

_“No,” Clarke whispers, “Only you can.”_

 

_The people around them begin yelling. To her left a man is escorted by four warriors. ‘Finn’ she remembers. They tie him to a pole._

 

_“Show my people how powerful you are,” Clarke pleads. “Show them you can be merciful. Show them you're not a savage.”_

 

_“We are what we are” She says coldly._

 

_“Then I'm a killer,” Clarke says, looking at Finn. “I burned 300 of your people. I slit a man's throat and watched him die. I’m soaked in grounder blood. Take me” Clarke begs._

 

_“But Finn is guilty” She replies._

 

_“No,” Clarke snapped. “He did it for me.” She shook her head, “He did it for me” Clarke said again, her voice cracking._

 

_“Then he dies for you.” She responds._

 

_Clarke turns to Finn, then back to her. “Can I say goodbye?” Clarke whispers._

 

_She doesn't respond. Clarke goes towards Finn. Everyone has fallen silent._

 

_Clarke brings him into a hug, whispering things she can't hear.  Clarke steps back, she's holding a knife and her whole hand is covered in blood. Finn slumps over, blood spreading through his shirt._

 

_Her warriors begin moving towards Clarke. “It is done.” She says holding out her hand, signaling them to stop.  She hears someone yelling ‘No’ from the camp in front of her._

 

_Everything instantly goes black._

  


Alicia wakes up with a gasp, shooting straight up. Elyza is sitting next to her, a lit cigarette in her mouth.

 

“Oi, you're up,” She says, taking the cigarette out of her mouth. “What in the bloody fuck was that about” She asked.

 

Alicia looked around frantically for the walker.

 

“Don't worry about the biter, I took him out after you went down.” Elyza reassured her. Alicia swallowed thickly, not sure if that was good news or not. Elyza looked at her, looking for an explanation.

 

“Did you know him?” She asked quietly. Alicia began to nod, but shook her head.

 

“This dream thing isn't exclusively restricted to sleep. Other things can trigger it.”

She trusted Elyza enough at this point to explain this to her. She didn't know how to answer the question about knowing him, because technically she didn't.

 

“I didn't know him, but I recognized his face. It's complicated.” She said. Elyza nodded, her face showing no emotion. She took a drag from her cigarette.

 

“Those will kill you, you know.” Alicia says, nudging Elyza in the thigh.

 

She barked out a laugh.“I think lung cancer is the least of my concerns right now,” Elyza stands up, offering a hand to Alicia. She takes it and is pulled off the ground.

 

“How long was I out?” She asked. Elyza put out her cigarette on a shelf next to them. She flips her wrist over, looking at the time. The face of the clock was on the inside of wrist instead of the outside.

 

“Bout 20 minutes.”

 

Alicia walks towards the back of the small store, to where Finn was chained. She stepped over his body. On the shelf next to where the chain was attached, there was a folded piece of paper. She unfolded it.

 

‘ _If you're reading this, then I must have turned. I found a bite on my chest and was too much of coward to deal with it myself, so I chained myself to this shelf so I don't hurt anyone. Please just kill me, if you find me. There’s a key in my back pocket, it goes to the supply room, take what you need._

 

_-Finn Collins.’_

 

She folded the note back up and stuck it in her pocket. Elyza was behind the counter, sticking packs of cigarettes, nips, and protein bars into her backpack. Alicia looks back down at the walker. _‘Calling him by his name now would be too weird’_ She thinks. Sure enough, when she reaches into his back pocket she finds a key.

 

“Elyza,” She calls quietly. Her head snaps up. Alicia goes over to her, showing her the note and the key.

  
They enter the storage room, it's no bigger than a closet, but it's filled with various liquors and snacks. They fill up their bags and head out, going towards the bridge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thigh holsters are my sexuality.   
> This fic is going to be a lot longer than I had planned...  
> I use headcannons from this list http://bit.ly/1P6Ob0R  
> I hope you enjoyed!  
> TRANSLATIONS:  
> "Ste yuj, Heda" - "Be strong, Commander"  
> “Nou get yu daun, Onya" - “Stop worrying, Anya"


	7. Quick Update

Hey, sorry this isnt an update, but I've got a lot of stuff going on in my personal life right now, so the updates are going to be a lot less often. I promise I wont give up on you guys, and I hope you understand. If you have any questions, you can ask them at my tumblr: @heda-over-heels-in-love


	8. Chapter 8

They had just crossed over the first bridge, though it wasn't much of one. From one side to the other, it had to be around 50 ft. Alicia wondered if the next bridge would be much bigger. She didn't have to wonder long. About a half mile later they came to the next bridge. It was quite a bit larger. It went over water and marsh, the only issue was that it had collapsed.

 

“Uh oh” Elyza said, walking to the edge of the collapse. “This trip is going to take a little longer than I though.” 

 

“How much longer?” Alicia asked, joining Elyza by the edge. Elyza went over the different ways they could get there in her head. 

 

“Well if we go fast we can probably get there in five and a half hours.” 

 

Alicia groaned. If it took them 5.5 hours, they’d arrive around 6:30, and the sun would be almost done setting. Not including time for breaks, or disaster. 

 

“Alright, we better get going.” Alicia said, turning around. 

 

The girl's started heading back the way they came. 

 

Elyza led them to a small path leading off the main road they were on. It looked like it could be a road, but there were plenty of signs telling her otherwise. Signs like ‘Do Not Enter’ and ‘Private Property’ littered the small metal gate. The kind you’d see in a barn. The girls jumped the gate and were met with a narrow paved path. The edges of the street sloped down into marshy, wetland.

 

“Be careful where you step,” Elyza said taking the lead. 

 

Alicia thought about putting her headphones in, but decided against it, she didn't want to block out the girl next to her. Her eyes roamed over Elyza who was a few feet in front of her. Her hips were swaying and she was walking with purpose like she was strutting down a catwalk. Alicia wondered if she was doing it intentionally. 

 

Alicia was busy shamelessly admiring the way Elyza's jeans hugged her hips, when Elyza broke the silence. 

 

“I can feel your eyes burning into my back, buttercup. Stop drooling.” She tossed a laugh over her shoulder. 

 

“Maybe if you wore clothes your size and not two sizes too small, we wouldn't be having this problem.” Alicia muttered under her breath.

 

Elyza stopped short and spun around, causing Alicia to slam into her front. 

 

Alicia took a step back. She had just slammed her face into Elyza’s chest. 

 

“What was that sweetheart? I didn't quite catch that.” She said around a smirk.

 

It wasn't a complete lie, she had only heard ‘clothes your size’ and ‘we wouldn't be having this problem’ but she loved getting a rise out of the younger girl.

 

“Nothing” Alicia glared at her. 

 

“Didn't sound like nothing,” Elyza countered. 

 

In this moment Alicia wanted nothing more than to wipe the smug look off her face. 

 

“I said,” Alicia began, “If you keep dressing like that, the infected aren't the only ones who will try to eat you.”  Elyza’s smile dropped off her face and her jaw went slack. 

 

Alicia pushed in front of her and kept walking, looking over her shoulder after a few feet to make sure Elyza was still with her. She was. 

 

Elyza was rendered utterly speechless, something that rarely happened.

 

“Is that a threat or a promise, Clark?” She asked, silently cursing herself as her voice slightly faltered. 

 

“Whatever you want it to be, Lex.” Alicia retorted. 

* * *

 

That conversation seemed to shift something between the two. Tension settled over the silence between them. It seemed familiar. It wasn't awkward persay, but it wasn't pleasant. Alicia’s vision began to cloud, the ringing returned to her ears. 

 

“Elyza?” She said turning around too quickly, the earth swayed around her as if she was on a carnival ride. 

 

“Elyza I think I'm going down,” She said without waiting for a reply. Alicia immediately felt two hands grip her shoulders, helping her stay steady. Elyza’s face sloshed into view and she blacked out. 

 

_ She opened her eyes. She was in a tent, a table with maps was in front of her.  _

 

_ “You sent for me?” Clarke asked entering the tent. She put the map she was holding onto the table.  _

 

_ “Yes,” She stated simply, turning to face Clarke. The tension. This is why it seems familiar. She feels her past self swallow thickly. She was nervous.  _

 

_ “Octavia has nothing to fear from me.”  _

 

_ Alicia scoffed in her head. Did she really think Clarke would believe that she called her into her tent for something this trivial? She couldn't see the look on Clarke’s face, but she could feel the impact of it.  _

 

_ Clarke blinked in confusion perhaps? Alicia was right, she new Clarke was smart.  _

 

_ “I do trust you, Clarke,” She turn back towards the table slightly.  _

 

_ “I know how hard that is for you,” Clarke said, taking a step closer. Her voice had dropped to a whisper.  _

 

_ She turned towards Clarke fully. “You think our ways are harsh, but it's how we survive.”  _

 

_ The air felt incredibly thick.  _

 

_ “Maybe life should be about more than  _ just _ surviving.” Clarke said, her eyes traveling over Alicia’s face.  _

 

_ “Don't we deserve better than that?” Clarke asked more to herself, looking away.  _

 

_ Her eyes dropped to Clarke's lips, the butterflies returning to her stomach. She feels like she's going to do something she will regret.  _

 

_ Her lips part to say something, but she hesitates. “Maybe we do.”  _

 

_ Clarke turns to her again, and her hand goes up to cup Clarke's jaw. She's leaning in before she can even realize what is happening. Her lips meet Clarke's and all her worries disappear. Clarke kisses her back almost instantly, her lips infinitely soft. The fear of rejection fades away.  _

 

_ She moves her hand to Clarke's shoulder. She pulls away, barely, and turns her head to get a better angle. Her lips meet Clarke's again, but this time Clarke pulls away. Her eyes flutter open, and the sight before her chilled her to the core; the girl in front of her had the exact same face as Elyza.  _

 

_ “I’m sorry, I… I’m not ready… to be with anyone. Not yet.” Clarke said, but the words fell on deaf ears.  _

 

_ Clarke was Elyza or Elyza was Clarke? Her head hurt. Does this mean that Elyza remembers too? Gustus said that Clarke had not died in that lifetime, but what happens when she does? Will Elyza begin to remember? All her thoughts began to slip away. Darkness consumed her, the image fading away. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its not that long, but it is an update. I hope you enjoyed. Follow my tumblr for fic updates among other things! @heda-over-heels-in-love
> 
> Would you guys prefer longer chapters less often, or shorter chapters more often? Let me know


	9. This isnt a goddamn fairytale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who likes long(er) chapters? I do! Things start heating up in this chapter ;)

Alicia woke up completely disoriented, more so than usual. Her head was pounding. After a minute of confusion, she realized that she was upside down. She tried to twist around, but an arm clamped down on the back of her thighs.

 

“You awake?” Elyza asked, stopping. 

 

“Yeah,” Alicia groaned. “And extremely disoriented.”

 

Elyza dropped her, and Alicia grabbed her arm to steady herself. 

 

“What would you like to know?” Elyza asked.

 

Alicia’s mouth went dry. Elyza and Clarke had the  _ exact _ same face. Not similar, literally the same, and frankly it was throwing her off.

 

“I- I uh,” Alicia began.

 

“You alright? You look like you've seen a ghost.” 

 

Alicia choked out a humorless laugh. It was almost the opposite; a ghost saw  _ her _ . 

 

“I’m fine. How long was I gone this time?” She asked rubbing a hand over her face. 

 

“An hour.”

 

Alicia looked around. They were far from the marsh now, farmland was on either side of them. Elyza had put her down in an intersection of three dirt roads. In front of them was a fenced off river, and on the other side of that was a main road. 

 

“You’re telling me that you carried me  _ over your shoulder _ for what? Two miles?” Alicia asked putting her hands on her hips. 

 

Elyza shrugged. “Three actually. I would have carried you bridal style, but this isn't a goddamn fairy tale.” She said, no bite to her words. “Look, we’re not here to fuck spiders, and we’re already behind schedule. I didn't know how long you’d be out.”

 

Alicia looked at her, confusion written on her face. “But how? Wasn't I too heavy?” She didn't mean for it to sound like a jab at herself. 

 

Elyza frowned. “Of course not, you're a feather. Any other questions?” 

 

Alicia bit her lip. She had tons of questions, but none of them for Elyza. Alicia just looked at her in awe. 

 

Elyza would be teasing Alicia about the look on her face, if she had not been so worried about her. She was staring at her like she was a beacon of light in the darkness.  

 

“Ready to go?” Elyza asked quietly. Alicia nodded, snapping out of her trance. They began walking again, in silence. 

 

All Alicia could think about was kissing Clarke, and she wondered if kissing Elyza would be the same. Her mind was full to the brim with questions, ‘what ifs’, and ‘maybes’. One thing she knew for sure, was that she  _ needed  _ to kiss Elyza, and if any random girl would be willing to kiss her after knowing her for 2 days, it would be Elyza. If Elyza wasn't just all talk, that is.  

 

She didn't want to scare her away or freak her out or anything. She needed to get back to her family, and Elyza was her only hope. Alicia couldn't even take out a walker chained to a wall, nevermind survive on her own. 

 

They arrived at a main street, and took a right. 

 

Elyza picked at the skin around her nails. Something had shifted between them. Elyza was never one to be shy with her feelings, but she felt like something…  _ different  _  was going on with them. She couldn't put her finger on it, but she didn't know where the boundaries were, so like any sane girl, she decided to test it. 

 

Elyza walked closer to Alicia, just slightly at first, then until their shoulders were almost touching. 

 

“So,” Elyza began, breaking the silence. “What's your favorite color?” She cringed internally. She felt like she was a teenager again. 

 

Alicia laughed lightly. “Really asking the hard questions, huh? Uh, I like blue, what about you?” She asked grinning at her rhyme. 

 

“What color are your eyes again?” Elyza asked, her signature smirk settling on her face. 

 

Alicia blushed and shoved her lightly with her shoulder. “Smooth.” She said.

 

“I’ve got plenty more where that came from. How do you think I seduce all the ladies?” 

 

“You're telling me that you ‘seduce all the ladies’ with cheesy one liners? That can't work.” Alicia asked skeptically. 

 

“It works like 99% of the time. Every so often I’ll flirt with someone who ends up being straight. ” 

 

“Have you ever fallen for a straight girl?” Alicia asked.

 

“Of course. I feel like most LGBT people have at one point.” 

 

“What's that like?” Alicia asked. She knew how it felt to like someone who doesn't like you back, but she wondered if this was a different thing entirely. 

 

“It's worse than liking someone who doesn't like you back,” Elyza begins, practically reading her mind. “It's a whole new level of unattainable. A lot of girls fall for their best friends, and it's a really fucking shitty situation, because you can either risk it all and tell them, or you just hold it in and let it destroy you.” 

 

“So what do you do?” 

 

“It depends. You can tell them, and more likely than not, it will destroy the friendship, or you can keep it to yourself. Because having her as a friend is better than not having her at all.” Elyza says, grimacing. 

 

_ “Sounds like there's a story behind that” _ The words go unsaid.

 

“It always gets better with time.” Elyza concludes. 

 

They walk for a few more minutes in silence.

 

“The 405 is up ahead, we’ll take it down past Fountain Valley, then we’ll be at Costa Mesa.” 

 

Just as Elyza finished her sentence, a group of four walkers strolled off the 405, spotting them immediately. 

 

“You’ve got to be bloody kidding me.” Elyza says, pulling a long knife out of her bag. “Get ready Lica. Don't let them get their mouths near you.”

 

Alicia wielded her bat, waiting for Elyza to make the first move.  

 

The walker closest to them lunged forward. Elyza dodged it easily, shoving the blade up through it's mouth into it's head. It dropped. The next three came all the once. Elyza grabbed the one to her right and threw it to the ground, turning to take care of the one in the middle. 

 

Alicia was frozen with fear, a walker coming straight for her. Elyza was on the ground wrestling the walker and winning. Alicia couldn't avoid it any longer, she stepped forward and thrusted her bat though the walker’s neck into the back of its skull. It fell to the ground, taking the bat with it. She planted a foot on it's chest, and pulled the bat out of it's throat. Blood shot out of of the wound, covering her front in dark blood. Her white shirt was definitely ruined.  

 

She turned to Elyza, who had finished killing the walker and was staring at her, eyes wide. 

 

“It didn't touch you right?” Elyza asked coming over to her. “N-no” Alicia replied. She was shaking. 

 

“C’mere,” Elyza said pulling her into a hug. “You did great,” She whispered into her hair. 

 

Alicia let out a shaky breath. “I’m getting blood all over you.” 

 

“It's alright, it’ll come out.” 

 

Alicia pulled away slightly, looking into Elyza’s eyes. Their bodies were pressed together, from thigh to chest. She swallowed thickly, her eyes flicking to Elyza’s lips. Elyza’s hands gripped her waist tighter, and began leaning in ever so slowly, when her eyes darted to the side. 

 

“Fucking cockblocks,” She said pulling away completely. “Looks like we’ve got company.” 

 

Alicia’s breath caught in her throat. She felt dizzy and she didn't know if it was from the close proximity, or if she was gonna pass out again. Or you know, maybe it was because a horde of what looked like 40 walkers was coming straight towards them. Probably the latter, but they couldn't stick around to figure it out. 

 

“We can't fight them all” Alicia said warily. 

 

“No, we can't.” Elyza agreed. “Run.”

 

They ran through a parking lot to their right, crossing into a main street. The walkers were slow, but they would catch up eventually, so they kept running. 

 

“How long can you run?” Elyza called behind her. The adrenaline was pumping through her veins, she didn't feel tired at all. 

 

“I’ll let you know when I can't anymore,” Alicia huffed. 

 

They ran for a good 5 minutes before Alicia’s side began to hurt. “We need to slow down.” 

 

Elyza slowed to a jog, then down to a fast walk, almost skipping. 

 

They were both breathing heavily, checking behind themselves often. “We can still get to the 405 over there,” Elyza said, out of breath.  

 

“I don't know if the 405 is a good idea Elyza. If people were evacuating, it's probably crawling with infected. You know how LA traffic is.” 

 

“You're probably right, but we have to at least check. If we don't take the 405 it's going to take a bit longer. Like 4 or 5 hours longer.” 

 

Alicia checked her phone. 

 

“I don't know if we’d be able to get there in time even if we  _ do _ take the 405. It's 4:03” 

 

“We’ll check the 405, if it's clear, and we are fast we can make it.” 

 

Alicia nodded in silence. She almost kissed Elyza. She blushed at the memory. 

 

They took a left at an intersection, towards the freeway again. They walked in silence for a bit, their hands brushing every so often. 

 

Elyza frowned to herself. She almost kissed Alicia. In hindsight, she probably just should’ve went for it. They would’ve still been able to escape the horde. She wracked her brain, wondering what would have happened if she did kiss her. They would have to find out at a later date. 

 

Elyza saw the intersection coming up, and slowed down, grabbing Alicia’s arm to slow her too. 

 

“I’d rather not deal with anymore, if we can help it,” She explained to Alicia. 

 

“You can say that again,” She replied, looking down at her blood stained shirt. Her skin felt sticky and she hated it. “I can't wait to get out of these clothes.” 

 

“I can't either,” Elyza replied with a smirk. 

 

Alicia narrowed her eyes at her, and began to argue,but stopped when she caught movement out of the corner of her eye. 

 

“Shit,” She said, grabbing Elyza and ducking down behind a parked car. They peeked over the top. About 1,000 ft away, by the entrance to the 405 were a group of 5 walkers. 

 

“No 405, then” Elyza whispered, her breath tickling Alicia’s ear. She shook her head. Elyza pulled her lighter out of her back pocket and whipped it at the brick wall across the street. It exploded with a loud bang.

 

The walkers turned at the noise. Elyza grabbed Alicia’s hand and pulled her through a parking lot to their right. They cut through to another main street, but Elyza didn't let go of her hand. The sun had begun to set. 

 

At a safe enough distance from the infected Elyza said, “We should settle down somewhere around here.” She said, looking around at the stores. There weren’t any houses in the immediate area, but there were plenty of stores to get food from, and both of them were hungry.

 

“You’re still holding my hand,” Alicia said, hiding her grin. 

 

Elyza shot her a glare and removed her hand. 

 

“I didn't say you had to move it.” Alicia blushed. 

 

“Oh, so now I’m irresistible, after you see me take down a group of biters, hmm?” Elyza teased. 

 

“I never said that.” 

 

“You didn't deny it either,” Elyza winked. 

 

“Shof op,” She laughed, but clamped a hand over her mouth after realizing what came out of it. 

 

Elyza turned to her, and furrowed her brow. “I’ve heard Anya and Gustus say that. What does it mean. Is it a different language?” She asked. She had tried asking Anya before, but she just laughed and called her a ‘silly space girl’. 

 

Alicia had no idea how to explain where it was from. 

 

“It means ‘shut up’ and I don't know, it might be.” She answered simply. Elyza nodded. 

 

They came up to a small shopping center, with a bunch of different restaurants in it.  

 

“Is it from your dream thing?” Elyza asked quietly. 

 

Alicia inhaled sharply. She had not been expecting that. “Yes,” 

 

Elyza cleared her throat, and looked at the row of stores. “So which one do you want to raid?” She asked, changing the subject. 

 

There were a few places Alicia recognised, a Subway, a family owned pizza shop, and a place called ‘A Touch of Romance.’

 

Alicia gasped. “Is that a sex shop?” She regretted the words the second they came out of her mouth. 

 

Elyza lit up like a goddamn light bulb.  “It fucking is,” She exclaims. “And we’re going in” 

 

She begins walking to the shop, not bothering to wait for Alicia. Alicia follows her anyways, not really having a choice. They enter the store quietly. Elyza goes through, making sure nothings lurking inside, while Alicia looks around. 

 

“All clear,” Elyza declare, coming back over to Alicia, who’s holding a dildo the size of her forearm. “Never been in a sex shop before huh?” Elyza asked with a laugh. 

 

“Gee, is it that obvious?” Alicia deadpans. “I couldn't even if I wanted too. I’m 17” She said more to herself. She put the large dildo down. 

 

“I keep forgetting about that.”  

 

Elyza goes to a shelf in the back, throwing various things into her bag, mainly lingerie. She takes a few lighters from the counter. 

 

“You getting anything?” She asks putting a cigarette into her mouth and lighting it. 

 

Alicia blushed. “I don't know.”

 

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of if you do,” Elyza says taking a drag. 

 

“I know,” Alicia replied. 

 

They continued shopping in silence. Alicia picked up a black box filled with various colored candles and a couple small vials of oil. 

 

“Why would you need candles?” Alicia thought out loud. 

 

“I could show you,” Elyza says, popping up behind her. She dropped her cigarette and stomped it out. 

 

Alicia swallowed thickly. Elyza didn't sound like she was kidding. 

 

“Here,” Elyza took the box from her and pulled out a pink candle. They were thin, the kind that you’d light at a dinner table. “Put your hand out, palm down.” Alicia did as she was told. Elyza pulled her lighter out of her back pocket again and lit the candle. She tilted it to the side, letting a few beads of wax drop onto Alicia’s hand.

 

Alicia gasps. The wax is hot, but not  _ unpleasant. _ “Oh,” She whispered. She looked up at Elyza with wide eyes, surprised to see Elyza looking down at her, her pupils blown. Elyza licked her thumb and finger, holding eye contact, and pinched the candle out. She put it back in the box and handed it to Alicia. 

 

“We should probably get out of here.” Elyza said. Her voice seemed deeper. Alicia nodded, shoving the box into her bag. 

 

They went to the pizza shop and Subway and picked up some food. A couple cans of corn, a few cans of beans, and a lot of chips and other packaged snacks. The sun had disappeared behind the horizon now. They were only left with a few more minutes of light. They went into the first neighborhood that they found, and came across a house with a fenced off pool. 

 

“I doubt the showers will be working, so this will have to do,” Elyza said. They went through, making sure the house was clear, and it was. It was also clear of most of the personal belongings of the former inhabitants. 

 

“I found something,” Elyza said, calling Alicia over. 

 

“Hmm?” 

 

“It's a letter.” Elyza read it aloud. “ _ Jonathan, if you see this, we went up to La Habra to get my parents. We’ll come back for you. Love Tiffany and Laurie.”  _ Under that in a different color pen it said “ _ We’ve waited for 5 days, I guess you aren't coming.” _

 

“Yikes.” Elyza put the letter down.  

 

They go out to the backyard, the sun has fully set and the automatic pool lights have come on. Solar charged, Alicia guessed.

 

“You should probably go in with you clothes on” Elyza suggested. 

 

“Wow,  _ you _ not telling me to take my clothes off. That's a first.” Alicia laughs. 

 

“Well I certainly won't stop you.” Elyza said, her eyes raking over Alicia’s body. 

 

“Are you coming in with me? I probably shouldn't get the water all bloody.” Alicia stripped down to her bra and panties. 

 

“Uhh, yeah I was planning on it.” Elyza said, trying to maintain her chill.

 

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” Alicia said with a smirk as she jumped into the pool. 

 

Elyza cursed under her breath and stripped down too, following Alicia into the pool. 

 

“My hair is going to turn green.” She said, as she swept her hair into a ponytail. 

 

“I don't know,” Alicia began. “Green might be a good look on you.” 

 

Elyza shrugged. 

 

“You never told me your favorite color.” Alicia said absent mindedly. She was floating on her back

 

“Yes I did. Your eye color.” 

 

Alicia stood upright next to the girl, the water coming up to her collarbones. 

 

“I didn't think you were serious.” She said quietly. 

 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” 

 

Alicia shrugged. The water was cold, but she felt warm next to Elyza. Elyza dunked underwater for a moment, when she returned her warpaint was running down her face. 

 

She went under again, this time wiping her eyes underwater, washing the paint off. She resurfaced with a gasp. 

 

“Is it off?” Elyza asked. She was closer to her than she had originally intended. Not that she was complaining. 

 

“Almost,” Alicia brought a hand up and wiped away the paint that the other girl had missed. Her hand lingered a bit too long. She removed her hand quickly. Elyza frowned lightly. Alicia worried that she had over stepped her boundaries, but Elyza didn't move away. 

 

Alicia brought her hand up to Elyza’s tattoo, the one on her collarbone. Elyza leaned into the touch, Alicia thought she had imagined it. 

 

“Why isn't it complete?” Alicia asked quietly. 

 

Elyza shrugged. There were a few reasons. It represented her lack of commitment, how nothing good could last forever, infinity is an illusion. But mainly, 

 

“Because I am not complete.” She whispered. 

 

Alicia couldn't take it anymore. She crashed her lips into Elyza’s. She kissed back instantly, pulling Alicia against her body. Alicia wove her fingers into Elyza’s hair, slipping one hand down to her neck. Elyza shivered. The kiss was electric, better than Alicia had imagined. Elyza pulled back, only enough for them to press their foreheads together. Alicia’s eyes fluttered open, locking into Elyza’s. I smile washed over Elyza’s face, and she pulled Alicia back into the kiss. Alicia smiled against her mouth. 

 

“We should go inside” Alicia mumbled against her lips. Elyza nodded. 

 

They gathered their clothes and hurried inside, the wind hitting their bare skin. 

 

“We should have looked for towels.” Alicia groaned, hugging herself. 

 

“Mmhm,” Elyza agreed. 

 

They searched through the house and found towels. Alicia rubbed her hair dry, and turned around, only to be pushed against the wall. Elyza held her in place with her hips, and kissed her hard. The kiss had a new sense of urgency. Alicia dropped the towel and wrapped her hands around Elyza’s waist. Elyza pulled back began peppering kisses against the column of Alicia’s neck. She let out a soft sigh. Elyza sucked a bruise under her jaw. She gasped and her eyes popped open. Her vision was going dark. Talk about awful timing. 

 

“Elyza,” It came out as a moan. The other girl took it as a word of encouragement, moving to suck another mark onto Alicia’s pulse point. She groaned. The world was spinning. 

  
“Elyza,” She said with more force. Elyza pulled back quickly sensing the change in tone, but it was too late. Alicia blacked out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I use headcanons from this list: http://bit.ly/1P6Ob0R  
> This is what Elyza's tattoo looks like: http://imgur.com/YhbK4pt  
> Shoutout to Google who helps me find Aussie slang that probably no one uses
> 
> Follow my tumblr for fic updates if you want: @heda-over-heels-in-love 
> 
> Feedback is appreciated, I hope you enjoyed!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Speaking of long chapters >:)  
> The next chapter wont be up for a couple of weeks! Hope you enjoy!  
> Sorry there's so much Trigedasleng in this chapter. Translations are at the end as usual.

 

_ She has gotten used to being thrown into different realities now, but it is still dangerous. What if she collapses around walkers. She needs to learn how to control this.  _

 

_ Her eyes open, she is at a table. In front of her stand Clarke, and many other people she recognises. Bellamy, Octavia, Abby, … Lindsi? Raven. Her mind fills in.  She’s sensing a pattern.  _

 

_ Anya and Gustus died in this world, and they remember. Lindsi and Elyza are still alive in this world, and neither of them remember.  _

 

_ “Please, accept this gift, Commander. We drink this at special occasions, I believe this qualifies.” A man, Kane, holds out a large clear bottle. She tries to reach out for it, but her body does not obey.  _

 

_ She turn to her left, facing another man. He looks at her and her heart skips a beat. It's Gustus.  _

 

_ He takes the bottle and hands it to her. “Thank you, Marcus of the Sky People,” She says.  _

 

_ “You’re welcome, Lexa… kom Trikru.” He replies quickly. “Just don't drink too much of it,” He adds with a smile.  Her name was Lexa.  _

 

_ “Clarke,” She says, facing the girl across the table. “Let us drink together.”  _

 

_ “It would be my pleasure.”  _

 

_ Gustus hands her two chalices. She fills them both with the clear liquid, handing one to Clarke.  _

 

_ “Heda, allow me,” Gustus says taking the cup from her. He drinks some, and hands it back.  _

 

_ “Tonight we celebrate our new found peace. Tomorrow, we plan our war. To those we’ve lost,” She says raising her glass. “And to those we shall soon find,” She says, making eye contact with Clarke. _

 

_ She presses her lips to the cup, about to drink, when Gustus collapses. He stumbles backwards, coughing. “Poison,” he spits.  _

 

_ Bellamy knocks the cup out of Clarke’s hands, and a woman to her left, Indra, pulls her sword.  _

 

_ A few men pull the table apart and Bellamy rushes forward. Clarke holds him back.  _

 

_ “This wasn't us, you have to know this wasn't us.” Clarke pleads.  _

 

_ She turns back to Gustus, who is now on the floor.  _

 

_ “Sou nou teik em wan op” She commands a man by Gustus’ side.  _

 

_ “Gon yo we!” Indra calls, “Pat emo daun”  _

 

_ “No, no we didn't do this,” Clarke says. _

 

_ “Gustus warned me about you, but I didn't listen.” She said. _

 

_ “Lexa, please.” _

 

_ “Tell me something, Clarke. When you plunged the knife into the heart of the boy you loved, did you not wish that it was mine?” She asked. _

 

_ Clarke couldn't answer.  _

 

_ “Heda,” A man called. He pulled something out of Raven’s coat.  _

 

_ “That's not mine!” She protested.  _

 

_ “Dison don kamp raun em okou.” He told her.  _

 

_ “I’m telling you, that's not mine.” Raven shouts. “He put it there when he searched me.” _

 

_ Clarke looks at her with pleading eyes.  _

 

_ “No sky person leaves with room.” She growls.  She walks out of the room with the small vial of poison.  _

 

_ Everything goes black.  _

 

_ Her vision returns and she in standing in front of Raven, who is tied to a post, her arms above her head.  _

 

_ “I take no joy in this, Raven,” She says taking a few steps towards her. “But this time justice will be done.” She was standing right in front of her now. _

 

_ “I didn't do anything,” Raven whispered. “How is that justice?”  _

 

_ She raises her arm, and cuts a deep slash through Raven’s arm. She screamed.  _

 

_ She took a few steps back, allowing Indra to enter. Indra cut her across the stomach. Others stepped forward, taking their turn to cut Raven. _

 

_ “Stop!” Clarke yells from behind her.  _

 

_ “Let her pass.” She says.  _

 

_ “One of your people tried to kill you Lexa, not one of mine,” Clarke begins, coming up to her.  _

 

_ “You should have run,” Indra interjects.  _

 

_ “I can prove it,” Clarke says. She takes the bottle from Nyko and takes a long swig.  _

 

_ “Explain.” She demands after a beat of silence.  _

 

_ “The poison wasn’t in the bottle, it was in the cup.”  _

 

_ “Dison feik au, Heda” Gustus whispers from behind her. “Nou ge pon klin” _

 

_ Everyone was quiet.  _

 

_ “It was you.” Bellamy says eventually, looking at Gustus. “He tested the cup, he searched Raven.”  _

 

_ “Gustus would  _ never _ harm me.” She says, glaring at Bellamy.  _

 

_ “You weren't the target” He replies immediately. “The alliance was.” _

 

_ “We didn't do this, and you know it” Clarke adds.  _

 

_ She sighs and turns to Gustus. “Yu don ge finga au, Gostos. Ron ai ridiyo op.”  _

 

_ He is silent for a moment. “This alliance would cost you your life, Heda. I could not let that happen.” Her eyes narrow.  _

 

_ “This treachery will cost you yours.” She says simply. “Teik em set raun ona tri.”  _

 

_ The guards do as they’re told, cutting Raven down and tying Gustus to the tree instead.  _

 

_ Things fade in and out. Each time she looks at Gustus, he has more cuts.  _

 

_ It is her time now. She steps up in front of him.  _

 

_ “Ste yuj” He whispers. _

 

_ She draws her sword, taking a step closer. “Yu gonplei ste odon.” She says, stepping forward and plunging the sword into Gustus’ chest.  _

 

_ She removes it quickly. What has she done?  This is why Gustus did not tell her how he died. She killed him.  _

 

_ Everything went black again, this time she woke up in bed.  _

 

Alicia woke with a gasp, her hands searching the bed for Elyza, but she wasn’t there. She sighed, wiping a few stray tears off her cheek. She was dressed now, in a big t-shirt. 

 

Alicia slipped out of the bed, going straight for the door. A wave of vertigo washed over her, and she fell into the wall beside the door. 

 

She regained her composure and opened the door, and she was shoved into the door with a knife to her throat. 

“Oh, fuck me” Elyza said, putting the knife down. She was still in her underwear.“You scared the shit out of me, you cunt!” She laughed, still holding Alicia to the door. 

 

“ _ I  _ scared  _ you?”  _ She asked, shoving her away lightly. “You put a knife to my throat!” 

 

“I heard something fall, I thought you were getting murdered or something!” 

 

Alicia groaned and slumped back into the door. 

 

“So what are you doing up?” Elyza asked, leaning on the wall across from her. 

 

“My dream just ended.” Alicia replied simply. “What about you?” 

 

“I thought you were getting murdered. Like I said.” She laughed. “I should get back to bed though.” Elyza pushed off of the wall, turning to leave. 

 

“Elyza?” Alicia called quietly, before she could stop herself. 

 

“Hmm?” 

 

“Can you… can you stay with me?” She asked softly. As much as Alicia hated to admit it, this whole ‘infected’ thing was really freaking her out. 

 

“Yeah, of course.” Elyza replied, following her back into her room. They got into bed, facing each other. They looked at each other in the silence, neither girl saying anything. 

 

“What if we can't find my family?” Alicia asked, barely above a whisper. 

 

“We will,” Elyza said, taking her hand, lacing their fingers together. 

 

“But  _ what if we don't?”  _

 

Elyza squeezed her hand. “Then you can stay with me. We can go get Lindsi, Anya, Gustus and Chris and go up to Crestline. We have friends up there. Maybe we could go find my mum.” 

 

Alicia noticed that Elyza’s accent was more apparent when she was whispering. 

 

“And if we do find them, what will happen to u-. What will happen?” ‘There is no  _ us _ .’ Alicia thinks. There can't be.

 

Elyza hadn’t really thought about it. She wasn't very hopeful that they’d find her family. She saw how they worked together when she found Alicia, and it didn't look like they’d get far. No one even noticed Alicia was out. She hates to think what would have happened if she didn't find her. 

 

“I don't know.” She replied honestly. “I don’t… want to lose you.” It was a risky thing to say, Elyza knew that. 

 

Alicia felt her cheeks heat up. She suppressed the huge grin threatening to show. 

 

“I don't want to lose you either.” 

 

Elyza let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. “Maybe you can come with me anyways.” 

 

“Maybe.” Alicia said, and they fell asleep. 

 

* * *

 

 

Alicia woke up to the sun shining in her eyes. 

 

Sometime during the night, Alicia had curled up against Elyza, her head on her chest and her hand on her bare stomach. 

 

She had some words tattooed on her ribs, in a different language, but Alicia could read it. It must have been the language that she had used in her dreams. It read, “Mebi oso na hit choda op nodotaim”  _ May we meet again _ . She traces her thumb across it. Elyza sighed. 

 

Alicia looked up to find Elyza staring down at her. “Morning.” She said, yawning. 

 

“Morning. What time is it?” 

 

Elyza flipped her wrist over and looked at her watch. “7:08” She replied, stretching her arms above her. Her shoulders cracked. “You ready to find your family?” 

 

Alicia nodded.

 

They got up and dressed. Elyza found them some clothes that fit, putting their dirty ones in a plastic bag, shoving them in her pack. They ate some beans for breakfast. Alicia went through house, collecting anything that could be useful. She ended up finding two mountain bikes in the garage. 

 

“That’s great! We’ll be able to turn a 5 hour trip into a 3 hour one.” Elyza said when Alicia showed her. 

 

They collected their things and got on the bikes, heading to the coast, then down to Costa Mesa. 

 

* * *

 

 

They had been riding for about 2 hours when her phone started going off like crazy. 

 

“Shit, Elyza slow down.” She called, pulling her bike over. 

 

“What's going on?” Elyza asked, slowing to a stop. 

 

“I’ve got service.”

 

Her phone finished buzzing and she was left with 9 texts. From Ofelia. 

 

**_Ofelia <3_ **

_ Two days ago _

Alicia where are you? We went back to look for you, but you weren't there. 

 

**_Ofelia <3_ **

_ Yesterday at 10:22 am _

We’re really worried about you. Your body was gone, so we don't think that you're dead.

 

**_Ofelia <3_ **

_ Yesterday at 10:23 am _

I hope you weren't kidnapped. 

 

**_Ofelia <3_ **

_ Yesterday at 10:29 am _

Please contact me when you get this.

 

**_Ofelia <3_ **

_ Yesterday at 1:14 pm _

Travis went off on my dad, Leeshy. He said this was our fault.

 

**_Ofelia <3_ **

_ Yesterday at 1:33 pm _

He said we can't travel with them anymore. It's pointless, we’re going to the same place anyways. 

 

**_Ofelia <3_ **

_ Yesterday at 1:45 pm _

They didn't give us any supplies. 

 

**_Ofelia <3_ **

_ Today at 1:10 am _

There were too many. They got my dad. He’s gone Alicia. 

 

**_Ofelia <3_ **

_ Today at 3:33 am _

I don't know if I can do this anymore. I need you Alicia. My phones about to die.

 

“Shit” Alicia cursed. 

 

“What happened?” Elyza asked. Alicia showed her the texts. 

 

“We’re close. She said they were both going to the same place. We’ll find them.”

 

Alicia nodded solemnly. “You should call your mom,” She said after a minute, handing Elyza her phone. 

 

“Thank you.” She squeezed Alicia’s upper arm. Alicia went to give her some space, but Elyza stopped her. “Please stay near me.” She said. 

 

She put in her mother's phone number. Someone answered on the last ring. 

 

“Mom!?” Elyza asked.

 

“Elyza is that you?” A man asked. 

 

“Jackson? Where’s my mom? What's going on?” 

 

Jackson sighed over the line.

 

“When it all went down, we met up with a scientific group working out of Baltimore. It's an underground society,” He paused. 

 

Elyza put the phone on speaker so Alicia could hear. 

 

“It's a group of doctors and scientists that have been working on unethical experiments.” He whispered. “We stumbled upon them while fleeing the hospital. They were collecting other doctors and scientists. They’re working on a cure for this disease.” 

 

“So why do you sound so scared?” Elyza asked frantically. “And where’s my mother?”

 

Jackson sighed again, still whispering. “You need to get your mother out of here. She’s becoming obsessed with finding a cure. We have infected locked up in here. They’ve done human experiments on people who disagree with what's going on. It's sick. They’re taking healthy people off the street and subjecting them to the illness, recording the results.” He rambled. 

 

“Let me talk to my mom.” Elyza growled. 

 

“Okay, okay, okay. You can't tell her I told you about this, Elyza please. I don't want to be next.” He hissed. “Who’s phone are you using?”

 

“My friend Alicia’s. I won't say anything Jackson, just give my mom the phone.”

 

“I’ll be in contact.”

 

The line was quiet for a few moments. 

 

“Elyza, love, is that you?” Her mother asked her. 

 

“Mom, thank God you’re okay. Where are you?” She asked, following Jackson's request. 

 

“We’ve met up with a group of scientists outside of Baltimore. We’re looking for a cure Elyza!”

 

“Really? How’s that going?” Elyza asked.

 

“Really good honey, we’re so close. I’m glad you're okay. I was so worried about you.”

 

Elyza thought about telling her mom that they were going to come for her, but she decided against it. 

 

“I’m good mom, I’m glad we got to talk.” 

 

“I have to get going, love, so many things to work on. I love you.” She said. 

 

“I love you too, Mom.” Elyza said, hanging up the phone. She sighed and handed the phone back to Alicia, looking at her. 

 

Alicia was speechless. 

 

“Thanks for letting me use your phone.” Elyza finally said, getting back on her bike. 

 

“Don't worry about it. I’ll tell you if Jackson contacts us.”

 

Elyza nodded and they began riding again. An hour later, then found themselves riding along a large manmade wall. 

 

“I think we’ve got it, Licia.” Elyza called over her shoulder. 

 

They kept riding until they got to a large gate. Two large men came out, aiming their guns at them. 

 

“Get off your bikes and put the bags down.” He yelled, once they were close enough. 

 

“Slowly,” the other one added. 

 

They stopped their bikes, letting them fall, along with their bags. 

 

“What's your business in Blackridge?” The first man asked, guns still trained on them. 

 

“I’m looking for my family, they said they were coming here. Also a girl.” Alicia called. 

 

“Describe them to me.”

 

“My family included my mom, who is tall and blonde, her boyfriend he’s an older Maori-American man. My brother, brown hair, looks like he’s seen some shit. And my step brother, looks like my mom’s boyfriend.” She explains.

 

“And the girl?”

 

“Tall, salvadoran, early 20s, long brown hair.” The man didn't look convinced.

 

Alicia rolled her eyes “I don't know, she's pretty. Great bone structure? Long legs? What do you want me to say?” She says. 

 

She doesn't notice Elyza tense next to her. 

 

Elyza wasn't jealous. Okay, maybe she was. She had no reason to be, it's not like her and Alicia were a thing. Hearing her describe Ofelia made her feel ill though. Elyza didn't know what would be worse: finding out that Alicia was exaggerating when describing Ofelia, or finding out that Ofelia was actually that hot. 

 

“I’ve definitely seen the girl” The guy says, earning a laugh from the other man. “We’ve all see her.” The second one says. 

 

Alicia shoots him a glare. 

 

He coughs. “I don't know about the family. You two are free to come in though. You need to leave any weapons with us, you won't need them. You can get them back if and when you leave.” 

 

Alicia nodded, handing the man her bat. Elyza was more hesitant. The gun was her father's. She did eventually give it all up. Her knife, the .10mm and the shotgun. 

 

They laid their bikes on the wall and began walking towards the gate. The second man seemed to notice Elyza’s hesitation. 

 

“Hey, do I need to go through your bag?” He asked, grabbing her shoulder. She jerked away.

 

“You probably wouldn’t want to.” Alicia interjects. 

 

Elyza looks at her confused, then laughs, understanding. 

 

The man scowled. “Open it.” He said. 

 

Elyza shrugged, opening the bag. He shoved his hand inside, feeling around. His eyes widened, and his hand went still. 

 

“Is this what I think it is?” He asked. 

 

“Might be” Elyza said with a smirk. Alicia could barely contain her laughter. 

 

He pulled it out, and sure enough, he was holding a large blue dildo. Alicia broke out into laughter, and Elyza soon followed. The man flushed, shoving the dildo back into the bag. He stomped off with a huff. 

 

The first man led them through the gate. They were met with a market type area, with a bunch of people cooking and gardening among other things. Behind the market were rows of houses. One house was bigger than all the rest. It had “Town Hall” Spray painted on it. 

 

“If you need anything, come find me, my names Andrew” The guy said, before leaving to go back to his post. 

 

“Wait” Alicia called. He turned. “Do you know where we could find Ofelia?” She asked. 

 

He raised an eyebrow. 

 

“The girl with the legs.” She clarified. 

 

“Oh, yeah. She’s oven on E17. Fourth house down, maybe.” 

 

“Thanks, Andrew.” She called turning back to Elyza. 

 

“The girl with the legs huh?” Elyza laughed. She was great at turning things that hurt into jokes. 

 

“And to think English was one of my best subjects.” Alicia replied, noticing how Elyza’s smile didn't quite meet her eyes. 

 

She smiled a closed mouth smile. 

 

“Let's find E17.” Alicia said, linking her arm with Elyza’s. Elyza raised an eyebrow. “This place is huge, I don't want to lose you, remember?” She said, quoting herself from last night. 

 

Alicia had no idea what they were looking for. What the hell was an E17? A building? House number? 

 

Turns out it was a street name. Andrew wasn't kidding when he said it was the fourth one down. Each house had a number spray painted to the front. House #4 was fairly large, it made her worry they had the wrong one. They crossed the yard and knocked on the door. 

 

A few seconds passed, but a young woman opened the door, her jaw dropping when she saw them. 

 

“Hey, we’re looking for…” Alicia began but the girl cut them off. 

 

“Clarke, Lexa! How… where.. What..” She began, pulling them into a hug. 

 

“Who the hell are Clarke and Lexa?” Elyza asked, pushing her off. 

 

She pulled back looking at them with confusion. “It's me, Monroe.” She frowned. “Do you not remember me?” 

 

Alicia didn't know what to do. She recognized the girl, but she had no idea how to explain. “You must have us confused with someone else,” Alicia said, giving her a look. She would explain later. 

 

“Oh… my...  bad” She said hesitantly. “What can I help you two with?” 

 

“Well I’m Alicia Clark, and this is Elyza Lex. We’re looking for Ofelia” 

 

Monroe’s eyes widened. Alicia just now realized how strange their last names were. 

 

“Yeah,” Monroe snapped out of it. “She’s here. When you come here alone or in a small group, you get put with people in a similar situation. There’s me, Ofelia, Charlotte, and Gina.”  She said, putting emphasis on the last two girls. 

 

Alicia understood. They must have all known each other from a different life. This was bizarre. 

 

“Could you send Ofelia out?” She asked, understanding the situation. Monroe nodded with relief. She went back inside, shutting the door behind her. 

 

“Do you know her?” Elyza asked.

 

“No.” Alicia replied. That was true. She knew of Monroe, but never met her. She was just happy that meeting her didn't make her pass out. They didn't have the time.

 

They stepped onto the lawn, and waited, their arms still hooked together. 

 

A few moments later Ofelia appeared, coming outside. 

 

“Alicia?!” She exclaimed running toward her. She let got of Elyza and met Ofelia for the hug. “Thank God, you're okay.” She said, her hands low on Alicia’s waist.

 

She could feel Elyza staring at them, but she didn't care. She had really worried that she didn't make it. 

 

She pulled away, still keeping her arms locked around Ofelia’s neck. “And I’m glad you're okay. I got your texts an hour ago, they were really worrying.” 

  
  


“Sorry about that, I’ve just had a lot of loss.” 

 

Alicia nodded. “Speaking of, do you know where my family went?” 

 

“Yeah, we can talk about it over tea. Who’s your friend?” She asked, letting her arms drop. She looked at Elyza. 

 

“Elyza.” Elyza said, giving her a two finger salute. 

 

“I’m Ofelia,” She said, sticking a hand out to shake. Elyza didn't take it.

 

Ofelia coughed awkwardly. “How about we go inside,” She said. 

 

“I don't know,” Alicia said looking at the three girls in the window watching them. 

 

“They’re harmless, don't worry.” Ofelia said, pulling Alicia to the door by her hand. 

 

Elyza followed, her mouth set in a frown. 

 

The three of them got through the living room, onto the back porch without any weird questions. They sat around a pool side table in the back. 

 

“Can I either of you anything?” Ofelia asked. 

 

“Could you just point me to your bathroom?” Alicia asked.

 

“Yeah it's down the hall first door on your right.” Ofelia explained. 

 

“I'll come too,” Elyza said, beginning to stand up. 

 

“You should actually probably wait here.” Alicia said, giving her a look.

 

Elyza scowled at her.

 

Alicia definitely wasn't exaggerating when she described Ofelia, Elyza noticed. 

 

Alicia got up and went inside, ducking into the living room. 

 

“You have some explaining to do.” Monroe said. The other girl's nodded. 

 

“Right.” Alicia said. “I know you, I think” She began, gesturing towards Gina. “But I don't know you.” She looked at Charlotte. 

 

“I’m the one who killed Wells.” She stated bluntly.

 

“I was blown up by the Ice Nation” Gina added. 

 

“Since we’re talking about death, I was killed from the toxic gas at the grounder camp that Octavia tried to warn.” Monroe said. 

 

“And you know who I am.” Alicia said. 

 

“I don’t” Charlotte said. 

 

“I was the Commander of the twelve clans. I was killed by a stray bullet, shot by my Fleimkepa. My name is Alicia.”

 

They all nodded. 

 

“So why doesn't Clarke remember?” Gina asked. 

 

“That's Elyza. I’m not positive, but I think it's because Clarke is still alive in the alternate timeline. I’m not sure, I still don't have all my memories.” Alicia explained. “I need to get back out there but I hope that helped.” 

 

She left them and returned to Elyza and Ofelia outside. 

 

Elyza glared at her with no subtlety. Alicia ignored her. 

 

“So, my family,” Alicia said, taking a seat across from Ofelia, next to Elyza. 

 

“Right. So after my father…” She said, voice cracking slightly. “I followed them at quite the distance. Like I said, we were going to the same place. I guess Chris noticed that I was following because last night he snuck off and told me that Strand was coming to get them with Abigail. He showed me on a map where this place was. He left and when I woke up the next morning they were gone, and there was a large ship off the coast.” 

  
  


“And no one said anything about me?” Alicia asked. 

 

“Well while we were looking for you, we found a walker that looked  _ just  _ like you. Your mom freaked out, and my dad blamed Travis for your death. They thought you died.” 

 

Alicia nodded. “Any idea where they were going?” 

 

Ofelia shook her head. “Strand said they were going to look for an island.”

 

“So, what now?” Elyza asked. 

 

Alicia shrugged. “I guess we go to your mom. We can't exactly find them on a boat.” 

 

Elyza nodded rubbing Alicia’s arm. 

 

“Where’s your mom?” Ofelia asked.

 

“DC” Elyza replied simply. 

 

“Ofelia, could I bother you for that tea you offered earlier?” Alicia asked. 

 

“Of course, do you want anything Elyza?” 

 

“No thanks”

 

She gets up and disappears into the house.  

 

The door shuts and Alicia turns to Elyza.

 

“What's the plan for getting your mom?” 

 

“Well, We’ll have to pick up the rest of the crew, and go up to Crestline to get Rob and Maria. They live by a small airport. They have a small plane that can get us as far as Nashville before we have to fill up the tank again.” 

 

“Do you know how to fly a plane?” Alicia asked.

 

Elyza scoffed. “I wish. Chris has a friend that can though. Dvon.” 

 

“Is he alive? How many people can we take?” 

 

“Probably. And it's  a 10 person plane, not including pilot and co-pilot.”

 

“So we would take you, me, Lindsi, Anya, Gustus, Rob, Maria, and Ofelia?” 

 

“We’re bringing Ofelia?” Elyza asked.

 

“Well we can't leave her here.” Alicia argued. 

 

Elyza rolled her eyes quickly. They  _ could _ leave her here. It seemed like a nice enough place. Before she could protest, Ofelia came out, handing Alicia her tea. 

 

“Hope you still like green tea” She said sitting down. 

 

“I do, thank you.” She smiles. “So it's settled. Do you want to come to DC with us?” 

 

“I’d love to! I mean as long as you don't mind.” She said turning toward Elyza. Elyza couldn't turn her down. Alicia would be furious.

 

“I don't mind” She said with the best fake smile she could muster. 

 

“Great!” Alicia exclaimed. 

 

Alicia and Elyza decided they should probably try to get back to the crew that night. Blackridge probably had a car they could use. Elyza charmed Andrew into dropping them off. They picked up their weapons and stuffed themselves into the back of Andrew’s black jeep, Alicia in the middle of course. It was a short ride, but it was the most awkward 30 minutes of Alicia’s life.

 

“How did you two meet?” Ofelia asked breaking the silence. 

 

“I found her in the middle of the road after you threw a brick at her.” Elyza said easily. Alicia elbowed her in the ribs.

 

No one talked after that. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rob is Bellamy, Maria is Octavia, and Dvon is Jasper. I'm having them go to Lake Gregory because that's where Cliffs Edge was filmed and I'm trash.  
> Follow my tumblr for fic updates: @heda-over-heels-in-love
> 
> TRANSLATIONS:  
> "Sou nou teik em wan op" - "Dont let him die"  
> "Gon yo we" - "Everybody out!"  
> "Pat emo daun" - "Search them"  
> "Heda, Dison don kamp raun em okou." - "Commander, this was in her coat."  
> "Dison feik au, Heda" - "A trick, Commander"  
> "Nou ge pon klin" - "Don't be fooled"  
> "Yu don ge finga au, Gostos. Ron ai ridiyo op." - "You have been accused, Gustus. Speak true."  
> "Teik em set raun ona tri" - "Put him on the tree"  
> "Ste yuj" - "Be strong"  
> "Yu gonplei ste odon"- "Your fight is over"  
> "Fleimkepa" - "Flame keeper"


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad yall like the flashbacks so much. They're a pain in the ass to write. I have to write it word for word as I watch the scene. It messes with my writing style. But I'm glad you enjoy it! Things start heating up >:)

 

Andrew dropped them off, and Elyza thanked him by giving him one of the bottles of whiskey she had picked up. 

 

“My friend Lindsi is really blunt.” Elyza warned, shoving the key in the lock and entering her house. 

 

“Honey, I’m home!” She called, shutting the door after Alicia and Ofelia. Gustus was on the couch, reading a book. He looked up. 

 

Lindsi poked her head out from the kitchen, a smile crossing her face. “Another girl?” Lindsi asked. “How  _ do  _ you do it Lex?” 

 

Elyza shook her head at the girl. “This is Ofelia, Alicia’s friend. Where are Chris and Anya?” 

 

“They went out siphoning gas.” Gustus told them. 

 

“How long have they been out?” 

 

“An hour.” 

 

“When they get back, we’ve got a lot to talk about.” 

  
  


Alicia introduced Ofelia to Lindsi and Gustus officially. She gave Gustus a sad smile. 

 

“I take it you learned about me?” He asked quietly. She nodded, looking down. 

 

“Alicia, come with me and put the laundry in?” Elyza asked pulling out her plastic bag of bloodied clothes. 

 

Alicia nodded, pulling her clothes out as well. She followed Elyza down the hall towards the laundry room. 

 

Alicia shut the door behind them. Elyza took the bag from her and dumped the both into the washer, setting it on a cool cycle. 

 

  
“Why don't you like Ofelia?” Alicia asked suddenly. Elyza sighed and sat on top of the washer. 

 

“It's not that I don't like her… Well that too, but out here you need to be able to trust the people you're rolling with. I don't know if I can trust her, after she left you for dead.” 

 

“She didn't have much choice. It would’ve been suicide. If anything, she saved me by leaving, she lead the walkers away.” 

  
“Whatever Alicia, I just don't want anyone to be in more danger than they have to be.” Elyza said, her words having no bite to them.

 

Alicia frowned. She walked over, standing in front of Elyza’s legs. “This this about something else?”

 

“No,” Elyza replied a little too quickly. She shifted her legs apart, allowing Alicia to get closer, wrapping her arms around her waist. 

 

“You sure?” Alicia asked, looking up at the older girl. 

 

Elyza didn't respond, she pressed her lips to Alicia’s. Her hand went up to cup Alicia’s face. The kiss was very soft, almost cautious. Elyza wrapped her legs around Alicia’s waist, pulling her closer. Alicia kissed her harder, one hand slipping under Elyza’s shirt, resting on her lower back. Elyza licked Alicia’s lower lip, pulling it between her teeth and biting lightly. 

 

Neither girl heard the door swing open. “Hey guys, they’re ba-” Lindsi stopped short. Alicia jumped away from Elyza, a dark blush creeping onto her cheeks. Elyza shut her legs. 

 

A smirk washed over Lindsi’s face. “Chris, you owe me $20!” She called out the door behind her. Chris popped his head into the room, looking between the two girls, then back to Lindsi. 

 

“What the hell do you need $20 for? There isn't an economy anymore.” He shook his head and left, Lindsi following him, saying something about a vending machine. 

 

* * *

 

 

“Okay, here’s the plan,” Elyza began, leaning forward on the table, her hands spreading over a large map of California. “We’re going to DC to get my mom and Jackson. I talked to them.”

 

“So you don’t need the radio?” Lindsi interjected. 

 

“Shit, no, sorry Lins.” Elyza sighed. Lindsi rolled her eyes and sighed too. 

 

“We’ll go up to Crestline and get Maria and Rob, and we’ll take their plane.” She circled Crestline on the map.

 

“Their dad’s plane.” Lindsi muttered.

 

“How are we getting to Crestline?” Chris asked, ignoring her. 

 

“Bikes would be best. The freeway is full of cars and infected, but the bikes can maneuver both.” Elyza explained. “We can take route 22 to 57, 57 to I-210 to route 18 and we’ll take 18 all the way up.” 

 

“We’ve only got two bikes” Gustus said. 

 

Elyza sighed at the interruption. “Then we have to take a small car too. Anya and Gustus on one bike, Alicia and I on the other. Ofelia, Chris, and Lindsi can take the car.”

 

“I should probably stay with Ofelia since she doesn’t really know everyone yet.” Alicia added. 

 

Elyza groaned inwardly. She could barely get through two sentences without being interrupted. 

 

“Actually Alicia, I’m not letting you out of my damn sight, and since I’m the only other person with a motorcycle license, you’re coming with me.” She snapped. Alicia shut her mouth, eyes widening. Everyone went quiet. 

 

Elyza let out a breath and ran a hand through her hair. “Does Dvon still live in Anaheim?” Elyza asked quietly, looking at Chris. He nodded. “When’s the last time you talked to him?” 

 

“He was my roommate at CSULB. I saw him the weekend before he left for home for break.” 

 

“And how long ago was that?” Elyza asked.

 

“A couple of weeks.”

 

“Do you think he still has a phone? Anaheim, Orange, and Santa Ana still have service.”

 

“Probably.” Chris shrugged.

 

“Okay, so we’ll try calling him when we get service on the way up.” 

 

“How do we know Dvon will even come?” Anya asked.

 

“He wouldn’t turn down the opportunity to fly a plane. He’s only gotten to fly the ones in class.” Chris explained. “Worst case scenario we’ll have Rob fly it.” 

 

Lindsi rolled her eyes. “His dad’s never let him fly the damn thing, and you think he can take us, what, 2,000 miles?” 

 

Chris went to speak but Elyza cut him off. “We won’t even be able to make it all the way to DC in one go. We can get as far as Nashville then we’re out of fuel.” 

 

“Okay, well, where are we supposed to land?” Chris asked. 

 

Elyza pulled out a different map, this one just of Tennessee. She circled an area between Brentwood and Murfreesboro. “There is a small airport here, we can try to land here.”

 

“This seems like a fairly stable plan, best case scenario. What's the worse case scenario?” Ofelia asked.

 

“We all get eaten before we can even get up to Crestline.” Lindsi offered. 

 

“Gee Lindsi, don’t hold back.” Anya muttered. 

 

“But really,” Lindsi began, pulling open a notebook. She scribbled the words ‘Things that could go wrong’ at the top. “Just call things out.”

 

“Dvon might not be alive / won’t come with us, and Rob will have to pilot.” Chris put in. Lindsi wrote it down. 

 

“We might not even be able to find Rob and Maria.” Elyza said. 

 

“Or they won’t come.” Alicia added. They all nodded. 

 

“I’m worried about the ride up.” Gustus said. 

 

“There are plenty of alternate routes if the freeway won’t work.” Anya reassured him.

 

“Hordes.” Ofelia added simply. Lindsi wrote it down.

 

“We crash the plane,” 

 

“Nashville is untouched and won’t let us land because they think we’re infected.” 

 

“How are we going to get back?” Alicia asked.

 

“Do we want to come back?” Elyza replied. Alicia didn't know how to respond.

 

They continued adding to the list of things that could go wrong, and spent the next hour or so making backup plans for the most plausible failures. By the time they were done, the sun had set and they were tired. 

 

“So tomorrow we’ll gather everything we need, I’ll make a list later.” Lindsi said, shutting her notebook. 

 

“We should plan to leave the day after tomorrow.” Elyza added with a yawn. 

 

Anya and Gustus said goodnight and went upstairs, Chris not far behind, leaving Elyza, Alicia, Ofelia, and Lindsi still downstairs. 

 

“Will the couch be alright, Ofelia?” Elyza asked, glancing at Lindsi quickly.

 

“It’s definitely better than the floor.” Ofelia said with a shrug. Lindsi set Ofelia up with some bedding, then went up to bed without a ‘goodnight’.  

 

“Can I talk to you for a sec Licia?” Ofelia asked, sitting down on her makeshift bed. Alicia sat next to her. 

 

“Yeah, of course,” Alicia nodded, looking up to Elyza.

 

“I had to go to the bathroom anyways,” Elyza said, leaving down the hallway into the downstairs bathroom. 

 

“What's up?” Alicia asked after the bathroom door shut.

 

“It's kinda silly,” Ofelia began. Alicia just looked at her, urging her to go on. “I just wanted to make sure you trust everyone, and everything.” Ofelia explained. Alicia raised an eyebrow defensively. 

 

“I only brought it up because sometimes you avoid uncomfortable subjects.” Ofelia explained. 

 

“I understand, but yeah I trust them.  I feel like I really know Elyza. They’re good people.” Alicia reassured her. 

 

“Good, I’m glad.” Ofelia smiled. She pulled Alicia into a hug. “I’m really glad you found me.” She whispered, pulling away slightly to look at her. 

 

“Me too,” Alicia said, squeezing Ofelia’s shoulder. Ofelia returned the smile and Alicia could’ve sworn that Ofelia was leaning in. She didn’t have much time to process it because the door to the bathroom opened. Alicia jumped back when Elyza came into view, surprised. 

 

Elyza narrowed her eyes slightly, before her expression softened. “I’ll be waiting for you up in bed, Alicia.” Elyza said, drawing out the words with a smirk. Alicia blushed, her lips parting slightly.

 

Elyza continued her way to the stairs, her smirk dropping into a frown the second her back was to Alicia. She should’ve known better.  _ Of course Alicia talked so fondly about this girl. If she hadn’t come along, Alicia and Ofelia probably would’ve sprouted into something more. _ Elyza thought. She pushed the intruding thoughts out of her head and tried to reason that Alicia had also felt what she had when they kissed. They were special. 

  
  


* * *

 

 

When Alicia made her way into Elyza’s room, the older girl was curled up in bed facing the wall. Alicia didn’t know what would have happened if Elyza didn't walk in when she did, and she didn't want to dwell on it. Would Ofelia have actually tried to kiss her? If she did would she pull away? Her and Elyza weren’t exactly together. Not in this life anyways. 

 

“You awake?” Alicia called quietly into the darkness, as she undressed herself. She saw Elyza tense slightly at her words, but she didn't respond. 

 

“I know you are.” Alicia pushed, crawling into the bed. Elyza sighed and rolled over onto her back. She stared at the ceiling. 

 

“I’m sorry about snapping at you earlier.” Elyza said quietly after a few beats. Alicia nodded. 

 

“Look, about Ofelia-” 

 

“You don't have to explain yourself, Alicia.” Elyza cut her off.   

 

“There isn't even anything to explain.” Alicia exhaled. “I don't know what happened back there.” 

 

“Are you into her?” Elyza asked quietly, preparing herself for the worst. 

 

Alicia was quiet for a moment. “I don't think so.” She decided, but she wasn't sure. One thing she was sure of, however, was that she cared about Elyza. A lot. Elyza nodded, letting out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. 

 

“Can I kiss you?” Alicia whispered, also staring at the ceiling. 

 

Elyza rolled over, leaning over the younger girl. “You never have to ask.” She whispered back, pulling Alicia into a soft kiss, her lips barely touching the other girl at first. Alicia wove her fingers into the hair at the nape of Elyza’s neck, pulling her closer. The kiss heated up quickly, Alicia pulling Elyza’s hair slightly, soft gasps falling from her mouth. Elyza moved to press kisses along Alicia’s neck, stopping to suck a mark right below her jawline. I moan escaped Alicia’s mouth and she blushed, pulling Elyza back up to kiss her properly. Elyza slipped her tongue into Alicia’s mouth, metal scraping across the roof of her mouth. She pulled back with a gasp. 

 

“You have your tongue pierced?” Alicia asked, not bothering to mask her surprise. 

 

“Mmhm,” Elyza replied, pressing a kiss to the corner of Alicia’s lips. 

 

“We should sleep.” Alicia gasped as Elyza went to kiss her neck again. She pulled away, understanding. 

 

“Goodnight Alicia,” She said with a smile, kissing her one more time. 

 

“Goodnight Elyza,” Alicia smiled, curling into Elyza’s chest. 

 

She drifted off moments after.

  
  


_ She fades into the scene, one she’s been in before. Clarke stands in front of her again, the soft light hitting her face making her eyes sparkle.  _

 

_ “When do you leave?” she asks.  _

 

_ “Now” Clarke says. She nods.   _

 

_ Clarke takes a few steps towards her. “I'm so sorry” Clarke says. _

 

_ “Don't be, you have to go back, they’re your people. That’s why I l-...” Clarke’s eyes snap up.  “That's why you're you,” She finishes.  _

 

_ Clarke nods, “Maybe someday you and I will owe nothing more to our people,” _

 

_ “I hope so” She reaches down and takes Clarke’s forearm in her hand, and Clarke does the same.  _

 

_ “May we meet again,” She says. Clarke takes a deep breath and takes another step towards her, capturing her lips in a soft kiss. Clarke wraps a hand around the back of neck, pulling her closer. The pure passion in the kiss brought her to tears. _

 

_ She hesitates for a moment, before kissing her back. Her hand goes up to caress Clarke’s face. She pulls away, a tear rolls down her cheek. Clarke looks her in the eye, then to her lips. In an instant Clarke is kissing her again. Harder. Clarke pulls their bodies together but she still feels far away. The force pushes her backwards, and she pushes forward, holding onto Clarke’s jaw.  _

 

_ Clarke’s hands find the top of her shirt, untying it, letting the strings drop. Clarke pulls her bra straps down with it. Clarke licks into her mouth and she sighs, her lips parting, letting the other girl in. Clarke turns her head to get a better angle and she gasps at the lost contact, pulling Clarke back quickly, smashing their lips together again. Clarke felt like a lifeline, holding her to this life. She kissed Clarke like it was all she could do to survive. Even a second without her on her lips felt like an eternity.  _

 

_ She hadn’t noticed they were moving until she felt her bed hit the back of her knees. She sat down, holding Clarke’s hands in her own. Clarke looked down at her with so much love. She looked up at Clarke, studying her eyes, her lips parted in awe. She pulls Clarke down on top of her, kissing her again.  _

 

_ Everything was a mess of kisses, heavy breathing, and pure ecstasy. She could barely remember her name, she could barely remember that this wasn't real, and she could barely tell that she was fading out of her dream.  _

  
  


Alicia had rolled away from Elyza some time during the night. She was laying on her stomach, her legs crossed tight, and she was breathing hard into her pillow. 

 

Elyza hadn’t fallen asleep yet, she was too busy worrying about getting everything ready for their trip. She was tossing and turning, but a quiet moan made her freeze. 

 

_ “Clarke”  _ Alicia moaned, pressing her face into her pillow. Elyza swallowed thickly.  _ How many people was this girl lusting after?  _ She thought.  _ Ofelia, Clarke… me?  _ She didn't even know if she fell under the category or not. 

 

Alicia gasped loudly, and pushed down on the bed below her, pushing herself into the air and towards the cold ground. She landed on the floor with a thump, and Elyza had to stifle her laugh.

 

“You alright love?” Elyza asked without hesitation, blushing at the term. That wasn’t supposed to slip out. 

 

Alicia’s head popped up over the edge of the bed. She didn’t glare at Elyza, which Elyza found strange. She just looked at her, lips parted. Elyza frowned, suddenly worried. 

 

“Uh, yeah…” Alicia said unconvincingly, getting off the ground. She looked around a little disoriented and sat down on the bed, legs crossed, facing Elyza. 

 

Elyza pushed herself up into a similar sitting position. “You wanna talk about it?”

 

Alicia ran her hands over her face, pulling her sweaty hair into a bun. 

 

“Because it sounded pretty interesting.” Elyza smirked. 

 

Alicia’s eyes widened. “Oh god, what did I say?” 

 

“You moaned something about someone named Clarke” Elyza said, raising an eyebrow. She tried to vague to get more details. 

 

Alicia took a breath. Talking to Elyza right after these flashbacks with Clarke really threw her off. One minute she was finger fucking the girl, screaming her name, and the next, she was sitting across from her. Well she wasn't really sitting across from her, but it felt like it. It’s like banging your best friend’s twin. It's weird. 

 

“Well,” Alicia began, smoothing her pant legs nervously. “A, uh,  _ friend _ of mine was saying goodbye to me, and then she kissed me and she  _ kept  _ kissing me and things started getting kinda heated,” ‘Kinda’ being an understatement. “And then I woke up.” She explained lamely. 

 

Elyza licked her lips, smiling a little when she noticed Alicia’s eyes following her tongues movement. 

 

“You dream about fucking your friends often?” Elyza asked, her voice low. 

 

Alicia sucked her bottom lip into her mouth. If Elyza kept looking at her like that, she would end up jumping her bones. She wondered if Elyza could tell. She could practically see the pheromones wafting off of herself. 

 

“I prefer to daydream about it,” She whispered in response.  “When I’m home alone…” 

 

Alicia didn't know why she was saying these things, but she was, and unless she wanted to fuck up what she had with Elyza, she needed to stop. 

 

Elyza on the other hand, was absolutely speechless, which didn't happen a lot. Alicia just admitted to getting off to the thought of her friends. Friends that she never even talked about. What are you supposed to say to that? 

 

"Y'know what?" Alicia began, laying back down. She turned to face away from Elyza. "Forget I said anything." 

 

Elyza frowned, "Alicia, It-"

 

"Just drop it... please." Alicia interrupted. 

 

Elyza let out a breath and laid back down as well. "Night," She muttered as she turned on her side. 

 

A few moments passed, then Alicia whispered, "Goodnight."

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates will continue to be every two weeks or so, depending on my schedule. Thank you guys for being flexible!  
>  Hope you enjoyed! You can follow my tumblr for fic updates! @heda-over-heels-in-love


	12. Trouble in Paradise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit of a filler, and I have an explanation on my tumblr as to why: heda-over-heels-in-love.tumblr.com
> 
> Other than that, I hope you enjoy, and thank you for your patience! <3

The sun rose several hours later. Alicia wasn't sure she ever fell asleep, but Elyza wasn't next to her, so she must have. She looked around and was disappointed to not find a note. 

 

She sat up, pulling her hair out of the loose bun she put it in last night. Her clothes were still downstairs in the dryer, so she decided to wear Elyza's clothes instead. Following Elyza's advice from the other day, she put on a pair of dark jeans. (Pretty much the only kind of jeans that Elyza owned). She found a muscle tank with a band's logo on the front, and put it on over her lace bra. 

 

Next, she went to Elyza's closet. It was mainly full of flannels, but there were some jean and leather jackets as well. She chose a grey and green flannel. It smelled like Elyza. She pulled her barely charged phone out of the pants she was wearing last night and checked the time. 8:54. She went downstairs. 

 

Ofelia was on the couch, asleep, and there was a rattling in the kitchen, followed by some colorful language.

 

"Fucking chickens with their fragile fucking eggs." 

 

She recognized the voice at Lindsi's, and let out a quiet laugh, stepping into the kitchen. 

 

Lindsi was on her knees scraping up an egg she dropped on the floor. "Having some trouble there?" Alicia asked. 

 

Lindsi shot her a look, standing up again and dropping the egg into the trash. "You're one to talk. I hear there's trouble in paradise." She sighed. 

 

Alicia furrowed her brow. "What do you mean?" 

 

Lindsi's eyes met hers, before she turned her attention back to separating the eggs. "Well El stormed out this morning," 

 

"What does that have to do with me?" Alicia asked. 

 

"Aren't you two sleeping together?" 

 

Alicia choked on her saliva. "We're not- I mean we share a bed, but we're not _sleeping together_." 

 

"The mark on your neck tells a different story." Lindsi smirked. 

 

Alicia slapped a hand over her throat. 

 

"I don't know why you sound so surprised. She sleeps with a lot of people." Lindsi poured some of the egg whites into a pan. It hissed. 

 

Alicia swallowed thickly.

 

"You're telling me that you don't know why Elyza was upset this morning?" Lindsi asked.

 

"I didn't say that." Alicia replied quietly. 

 

"So you do know."

 

"I think I do." Alicia said honestly. 

 

Lindsi raised her eyebrows at the girl. Alicia just shrugged. "We just got into a bit of an argument last night." 

 

Lindsi nodded, flipping her omelette. 

 

"You said Elyza sleeps with a lot of people?" Alicia asked, regretting the words as soon as the words left her mouth. It wasn't her place to worry about something like that. 

 

Lindsi didn't laugh at her, only shrugged. "It's just the kind of person she is. I've know the girl for 10 years, she's never been big on commitment. She really cares about you though. I've rarely seen her look at anyone the way she looks at you."

 

Alicia blushed. 

 

"Anya said she looks at you like your 'keryon ste teina', Whatever that means. You can ask her if you want. She's in the garage working on the bikes." 

 

Lindsi slid a plate with an omelette on it towards Alicia. "But first, eat."  

* * *

 

After breakfast Alicia went down to the garage. It looked like Anya was changing the oil on one of the motorcycles, but Alicia didn't know much about that kind of stuff. 

 

"Hey," Alicia smiled.

 

Anya looked up and returned the smile. "Heya Heda," 

 

"I'm not your commander anymore, Anya." 

 

Anya nodded solemnly. "No matter. Do you need something?" She asked.

 

Alicia nodded. "Lindsi and I were talking, and she said that you said that Elyza looks at me like 'Osir keryon ste teina', and I was wondering if you could translate for me." 

 

A light blush appeared on Anya's cheeks. "You cannot translate it?" She asked. 

 

Alicia shook her head. "I usually can, but not with this." 

 

Anya nodded. "'Osir keryon ste teina' means 'Our souls are intertwined'. Elyza looks at you like your souls are intertwined."

 

Alicia furrowed her brow in confusion. 

 

"Soulmates." Anya explained. 

 

"I got that part. Does this have to do with Clarke?" 

 

Anya's eyes lit up. "You remember her?!" 

 

Alicia nodded. 

 

"Yes, it does. It's a very old story, a fairy tale. You spend your life looking for your soulmate. Once you find your soulmate, you will follow them through countless timelines, meeting them over and over, falling in love over and over, and sometimes losing them over and over." Anya explained. 

 

"What does this have to do with you and Gustus, why do we remember our past lives?" 

 

"That is the question. Gustus thinks it's because we know you, we lived during the time you met Clarke." 

 

"And what do you think?" 

 

"I haven't the slightest. I know that some of the people that believe in reincarnation work to try to remember their past lives, but they spend years, and only some succeed. I don't know why it's so easy for us."

 

Alicia nodded. "Thank you for your help." 

 

Anya simply nodded.

 

Alicia left her to her work. 

-

Upstairs Lindsi was still cooking. 

 

"You get those translations?" She asked as Alicia entered the room.

 

"Yeah, 'Osir keryon ste teina' means 'Our souls are intertwined." 

 

Lindsi raised her brow, plating another omelette. "Sounds romantic. Now can you take this to Ofelia for me? She's awake." 

 

Alicia nodded, taking the omelette into the living room. 

 

"Hey," Ofelia greeted. She was sitting against the arm of the couch, her legs tucked to the side. 

 

"Hey" Alicia replied, handing Ofelia the omelette. She grunted a 'thank you.' 

 

Ofelia patted the couch next to her, signaling Alicia to sit down. Alicia accepted the offer. 

 

A movie that Alicia had never heard of was playing on the TV as Ofelia ate her breakfast. 

 

"How'd you sleep?" Alicia asked. 

 

Ofelia swallowed her mouthful of eggs. "Pretty well, how 'bout you?" 

 

"Alright," Alicia lied. 

 

They sat in silence watching the movie. 

 

Ofelia finished her eggs and put the plate on the coffee table. 

 

"Let me get that for you," Alicia said, getting up and grabbing her dirty plate. 

 

"Thanks" She smiled. 

 

Alicia made her way back to the kitchen, dropping the plate into the sink. On her way back to the couch, she glanced out the window and stopped short. 

 

Gustus and Chris were walking up the street, arms full with bags. Not far behind them, Elyza followed with a tall, pale girl. Her hair was the color of black cherries. 

 

Alicia watched as they got closer. Chris and Gustus came up the stairs, into the house, while Elyza stayed on the curb with the mystery girl. 

 

The boys greeted Alicia and Ofelia as they came in, but Alicia ignored them. Elyza laughed at something the girl said, and the girl blushed. The taller girl hugged Elyza and turned away, but Elyza stopped her, taking out a pen and writing something on her arm. 

 

Alicia had seen enough. She forced herself to walk away from the window. She sat down on the couch again, pulling Ofelia's arm around her, her arm wrapping around Ofelia's waist. 

 

Ofelia gave her a confused look, but didn't object. Alicia knew what she was doing was petty, but she was hurt and she didn't care. Before Alicia had too long to think about it, Elyza entered. She was surprised that the tall girl wasn't with her. Elyza's grin dropped immediately, a fake smile replacing it moments later as her eyes met Alicia's. 

 

"Help us unpack," Chris called. 

 

Anya came out of the basement and Lindsi appeared in the dining room. Alicia got up, pulling Ofelia with her. They surrounded the the dining room table. 

 

"Alright," Elyza began. "We picked up weapons, ammo, and gas," 

 

"And a stripper" Lindsi said under her breath. 

 

Alicia let out a short laugh, and Elyza shot her a look. It wasn't just anger in Elyza's eyes, it was hurt as well. Alicia shut her mouth. 

 

"But we still need clothes and food." Elyza continued. "I'll set up another group to go out for that later today. Me, Alicia?" She asked.

 

Alicia nodded.

 

"And..." Elyza began.

 

"Can I come?" Ofelia asked. 

 

Elyza took a breath, "Sure. You know how to shoot?" 

 

Ofelia nodded. 

 

"Great." Elyza said, turning her attention to Gustus. 

 

"We found a small car a few blocks down that we can take. We'll have to get that today too if we're leaving tomorrow." Gustus said. 

 

"You and I will go?" Anya offered, and Gustus nodded.  

 

"We'll sort this shit" Lindsi said gesturing to Chris who nodded. 

 

Elyza turned to Ofelia and Alicia. "You two get ready, we're leaving in 10." 

* * *

 

 

Elyza had given Ofelia one of the guns she had picked up on the supply run. Alicia had her bat again, and Elyza had her father's handgun. The three girls were walking down the street in dead silence, and Elyza was beginning to question her decision to let Ofelia come. 

 

Elyza decided to take them to a goodwill they saw on the way to Costa Mesa. It wasn't too far, it was over by the Westminster Mall. 

 

Anya and Gustus followed them through a few blocks before splitting up to get the car they had found earlier. 

 

"When you were gone, we were finding walkers around every corner, but now that you're here, we haven't seen a single one." Ofelia mentioned to Alicia, breaking the silence. 

 

"Gustus says I'm a good luck charm." Alicia smiled. 

 

"You must be." Ofelia grinned.  Elyza stayed silent.

 

They all walked fairly quickly, not wanting to test their luck _that_ much. 

 

They rolled up to the goodwill not moments later, going towards the front door in their normal formation: Elyza first, crouched, gun out, next is Alicia in the middle, and Ofelia on the end, with the other gun. 

 

Elyza pushed through the front door, taking the left side of the store. Alicia crept down the middle, and Ofelia took the right wing. 

 

"Hey!" Alicia heard, followed by a silenced gunshot.

 

"Oi, fucking cunt!" Elyza called, standing up. Alicia and Ofelia rushed up behind her, gun and bat pointed at the two shadowy figures in front of her. 

 

Elyza switched on the lights. 

 

Alicia had the tip of her bat pressed into the back of a tall man's neck, and Ofelia had her gun trained on a tall girl with hair the color of black cherries. 

 

"You gave me a right fuckin' scare, Delilah." Elyza gasped. "I didn't shoot either of you, right?" 

 

"No, but your friend here has something cutting into my neck." The man hissed.

 

Elyza glanced at Alicia, and she moved her bat back a few inches.

 

"Who the hell are these people?" Ofelia asked.

 

Alicia checked the girl, Delilah's arm as soon as it was in sight. It was Elyza's name, and a phone number. _Her_ phone number.

 

"And why the fuck is my phone number on your arm?" Alicia snapped. She looked between Delilah and Elyza, who looked visibly uncomfortable. 

 

" _Your_ phone number? This is Elyza's phone number." Delilah tried to explain. 

 

"Elyza doesn't have a phone." Alicia snarled back. She turned to Elyza. "You're telling me that you're giving random girls my phone number, because you don't have a phone?"

 

Elyza shrugged, trying to brush it off. "You said I could use your phone."

 

"Elyza can I talk to you?" Alicia asked impatiently. 

 

"Sure, but first, who are you?" Elyza asked, turning to the man. 

 

"Derek, Delilah's brother. We just came to pick some things up."

 

Alicia lowered her weapon, signaling Ofelia to do the same. 

 

They went off to loot in different directions, Alicia pulling Elyza to an empty part of the store.

 

Alicia took a deep breath.

 

"What are we?" She asked.

 

Elyza's eyes widened. "I-I don't know, Alicia, friends that make out sometimes?"

 

"But don't you want more than that?" Alicia asked seriously.

 

Elyza sucked in a breath, "I care about you." She paused. "And it really scares me." Elyza wouldn't meet her eyes. 

 

"Why?" Alicia whispered. 

 

"The people I care about _die_. And you can't die on me too." She admitted, her voice cracking.

 

Alicia took her hand. "Elyza, I can't die." 

 

"Everyone dies Alicia." 

 

"Well I can die, but not accidentally. It's part of the dream thing." She explained. 

 

"That doesn't make sense." Elyza argued. 

 

"I know it doesn't. There's a lot you don't know, and I'll explain it all sometime-"

 

"Why can't you explain it now?" Elyza pushed. 

 

"Because it's a really long story," She smiled. "Right now all you need to know is there are only two ways for me to die: old age and suicide."

 

"What defines an accident? Accidental murder vs murder with intent? Accidental suicide?" 

 

"I don't know all the details, all I know is I'm not going anywhere." She squeezed Elyza's hand reassuringly. 

 

"I really hope not," Elyza said, squeezing her hand back, with a small smile. 

 

They fell back into the group, gathering clothes and canned food from the front. 

* * *

 

"I found more things from the closet you're locked in," Elyza laughed holding up two flannel shirts. 

 

"Ha, Ha." Alicia mock laughed. "Keep the one on the right though, it's really cute." 

 

Elyza broke out into a fit of laughter. "You are such a stereotype!" She said between laughs. 

 

"Am not!" Alicia retorted. 

 

"You're the kind of girl who will sleep with girls in college and say it's a phase but spend the rest of your life miserable, married to a rich man who you have pity sex with while imagining he's the woman next door." Ofelia called from a few racks over. 

 

Elyza was laughing hysterically now, tears running down her cheeks. "Too fucking real O," She gasped. 

 

Alicia blushed, but smiled. 

 

"Relax Alicia, we're just teasing you." Ofelia reassured her. 

 

"I'm just glad you two are getting along." 

 

Elyza shrugged, finally catching her breath.

 

"Okay what am I?" Ofelia asked.

 

Elyza hummed. "What's your sexuality again?" 

  
  


"Pan," Ofelia replied. 

  
  


Elyza nodded and thought for a moment. "You seem like the kind of girl who would be dating a guy, find out he actually has a girlfriend then sleep with his girlfriend to get back at him."

 

Alicia and Ofelia broke out into laughter. 

 

"That happened!" "That literally happened!" They said at the same time. 

 

Elyza clapped a hand over her mouth. "What?" She gasped, the words muffled. 

 

"Tell the story," Alicia urged. 

 

Ofelia rolled her eyes. "It's not much of a story..." She began. "But about a year ago I was seeing this guy, Marty. We'd been dating for, like, 3 weeks. He was kinda secretive about his friends and his job, and I didn't come to his house often. One day I decided to surprise him at his house with a coffee. I open up the door and a girl is sitting there with his dog. I asked her who she was, she said her name was Kensi, and she was Marty's girlfriend of almost 2 years. Anyways, I explained the situation to her, and she was really chill; we talked for a while and one thing lead to another and we ending up sleeping together in his bed. We didn't hear him come in." 

 

"He walked in on you?" Elyza gasped. Alicia was still laughing. 

 

Ofelia nodded. "So he promptly kicked us out, and she ended up giving me her phone number."

 

"Please tell me you saw her again." Elyza said. 

 

"I did." 

 

"Nice!" Delilah called from a few rows back. 

 

"We had a friends with benefits thing going for a while actually. I probably would've seen her again if the world wasn't ending." 

 

"That's a shame." Elyza said. "Me next!" 

  
  


Alicia thought for a moment. “I don’t know, you’re one of the most unconventional people I’ve ever met,” She began. “I think that you’re the kind of girl that would always be pinned as a player at school, but in reality you were in a long term serious relationship.” 

  
  


Elyza bit her tongue and smiled. “You’re really close,” She beamed. “I was pinned as a slut, because I began sleeping with guys when I was in denial about being a lesbian.”

 

“Really? You don’t seem like the type.” Ofelia said. 

 

Elyza just shrugged.  “Coming out in that high school would be like saying you’re a witch in 1692 Massachusetts.” 

 

Ofelia nodded, “I see.”

 

“Do I get one?” Delilah asked. 

 

Alicia kept her mouth shut. 

 

“Sure,” Elyza responded. “Why don’t you take this one, O?” 

 

“Let’s see.” Ofelia began. “You have this tough look about you, so I’m going to guess that Taylor Swift is your favorite singer, and volunteer at homeless shelters on the weekends, but if your friends ask, you’re at some rock concert. You probably carry cigarettes with you, but only smoke if your friends are around, and you have to try really hard not to cough. Your hair is dyed, and I’m guessing you change your hair color every time you can’t change something in your life. You probably have overprotective parents. Shall I continue?” Ofelia ended. 

 

Delilah was blushing and Derek was laughing from somewhere else in the store. 

 

“You got fucking rekt, Lilah!” he laughed. 

 

“Do him now,” She growled at Ofelia, who chuckled. 

 

“Okay. Well considering you just said ‘rekt’ I’m going to assume you're some kind of nerd. You’re wearing some pop culture references, so I’ll guess that you’re a computer nerd. But you prefer to be labeled as a hipster. You probably built your own computer, and think you’re superior to your friends because of it. You probably play an instrument, not guitar though, that’s too basic. You play bass, in a garage band that you swear is gonna make it someday.” 

 

Derek swore under his breath. “You’re really good at that.” He said in defeat.  

 

Ofelia smiled.

 

“We should start packing up,” Alicia said throwing some pants in her bag. 

 

The other two girls nodded in agreement, saying their goodbyes to the other group and heading back home.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Instead of killing off characters for shock value, I add new ones.
> 
> Yay for Pan representation! 
> 
> TRANSLATIONS:  
> "Osir keryon ste teina" - "Our souls our intertwined"


	13. Night Changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♪ Its my fanfic, and I'll do what I want to ♪
> 
> Who likes fluff? I do! (Chapter title is taken from the song 'Night Changes' by One Direction lmao)
> 
> EDIT: On 21/May/16, I merged Chapters 13 and 14 and fixed my fuckup. Some will like what I did, some will prefer the other ending, and some wont know what the hell I'm talking about.
> 
> The songs referenced are 'Talking in Code' by Margot & the Nuclear So and So's (http://bit.ly/1scaYES) and 'Mountains' by Message to Bears (http://bit.ly/1V2cNQj). I recommend listening to them while she plays so you can get a feel for it.
> 
>    
> Follow my Tumblr for fic updates! : heda-over-heels-in-love.tumblr.com
> 
> I hope you enjoy, and thank you for your patience! <3

The sun was just beginning to set when they arrived home. Time flew by in goodwill with their new friends, sad to leave, but it was getting late. A small car was in the garage being worked on by Lindsi while Anya was fiddling with the other motorcycle.

 

Ofelia broke off from them, joining the other girls in the garage.

 

Inside, Gustus was ripping the kitchen apart, packing all non perishables for the trip. Chris was sorting the weapons, asking the girls to deposit theirs as well, including ammo.

 

Elyza was hesitant, holding onto her gun.

 

"Just need to take an inventory, El."

 

Elyza sighed, sitting down with Chris. "Fine, but I'm staying." She said, dropping her gun on the table with her knife and various rounds.

 

On Elyza's command, Alicia brought down the duffle bag with the shotgun and rifle, leaving her bat on the table.

 

"So what do we have?" Alicia asked.

 

Chris wrote a few things down before turning his attention to Alicia. "Anya has her swords, Ofelia has the pistol that's with her, Elyza has her father's handgun," He passed the weapon back to Elyza.

 

"I want the shotgun too." Elyza said. Chris crossed something out, and wrote something new.

 

"That means you get the silencer too. We have one, so don't lose it." He said in an emotionless tone.

 

Elyza nodded.

 

Chris turned back to Alicia. "You have your bat, Lindsi will probably want the rifle, Gustus gets a pistol, and I have a revolver. We have 4 knives and one rail spike, meaning that you, Elyza and Anya won't be getting either, since your weapons are already silent. So we have one extra knife. We have plenty of pistol/handgun, shotgun, and rifle ammo, but we don't have many revolver rounds. I'm not too worried about it. And lastly," He said pulling something out from under the table, "We have a single grenade." He placed it on the table, a smile playing at the edge of his mouth.

 

"Woah," Alicia gasped, taking a step back. "Where did you find that?"  

 

"Picked it up at an abandoned military base. On an armed guard." Elyza explained.

 

Alicia nodded, keeping her distance.

 

"I already talked to the others about the transportation plan, so I'll break it down to you next." Chris began. "In the car-"

 

Ofelia came up the stairs, interrupting Chris.

 

"Perfect timing. Come sit, Chris is explaining transportation." Alicia said, motioning Ofelia to join them.

 

"As I was saying," He flipped through his notes. "Ofelia, Lindsi, and I will be taking the car, as requested. Lindsi insisted on driving-"

 

"She needs to drive if we want to go over 60mph" Elyza laughed.

 

Chris rolled his eyes, but smiled. "You and Alicia will be on your bike, Anya and Gustus on hers," He said to her. "Gustus will be driving, Anya on the back with her swords, and you will be driving yours obviously."

 

Lindsi and Anya came up.

 

"We will leave tomorrow whenever we're all up, there's no time constraint. It will only take about-"

 

"I've only been up here for a minute and I'm ready to sleep," Lindsi complained.

 

Chris rolled his eyes. "What would you prefer we do with this time?" He deadpanned.

 

Lindsi grinned a wicked smile. "Didn't Elyza bring back like 4 bottles of booze?"  

 

"Lot more than that if you count the nips," She smiled.

 

"How about some good ol' fashioned Never Have I Ever?" Anya proposed.

 

Everyone cheered in agreement.

 

"Wait," Chris said, looking between Ofelia and Alicia. "How old are the two of you?"

 

"22," Ofelia replied.

 

"17," Alicia said sheepishly.

 

Lindsi whistled low from across the room. "Ain't that illegal El?" A shit eating grin across her face.

 

Elyza shoved her, almost blushing. Almost.

 

"I meant she can't drink, I don't know what you thought I meant," She said, laughing.

 

"You can't drink either! Neither can Chris! You're both 20." Elyza said shifting the subject.

 

"Who cares," Anya said. "She probably won't need to drink a lot anyways."  

 

Alicia scowled. "What does that mean?"

 

Anya just laughed. "It mean's you're young and innocent."

 

Alicia narrowed her eyes. "Which life are you referring to, Onya kom Trikru?"

 

Gustus chuckled. "She's got you there."

 

"Both." She replied, challenging her.

 

"Ai don Leksa kom Trikru, Heda kom twel kru-de. You dare challenge me?" She growled, taking a few steps toward Anya. _I am Lexa kom Trikru, Commander of the 12 clans. You dare challenge me?_

 

Alicia had no control of her body, or the words leaving her mouth. It was if she was in her dreams.  She walked up to Anya, getting in her space.

 

Anya dropped to one knee without hesitation, blushing when she realized what had happened.

 

Alicia blushed too, taking a step back. The room was dead quiet.

 

"So where is that liquor?" Gustus asked, shifting the focus to himself.

 

"I'll grab it." Alicia said, running upstairs. A pair of footsteps followed her, and she stopped outside Elyza's room.

 

It was Anya.

 

"What was that? I-"

 

"I don't know, I'm sorry. I felt like I was in a trance." Alicia cut her off.

 

"You don't need to apologize. It happens. Every so often I wake up and forget the world isn't what it used to be. You learn to live with it."

 

Alicia smiled a little. "Thank you Anya."

 

Anya smiled back and retreated down the stairs.

 

Alicia turned into Elyza's room, but stopped as another set of footsteps came up behind her.

 

"What the hell was that?" Elyza asked, following Alicia into her room. She flipped on the light.

 

"You want the truth or a lie?" Alicia asked.

 

Elyza thought for a moment. "Both. I'll try and guess."

 

"Okay. First; I have secretly known Anya for years and we're in a weird, gay, kinky roleplay group and sometimes I just get way too into it." She deadpanned.

 

Elyza laughed. "And option two?"

 

"In a different life, I was the Commander of 12 clans, and Anya was my second in command, but then she got killed. Shortly after, I got killed too, by my fleimkepa. I was then reincarnated, and by a twist of fate, I ended up finding my second, my soulmate's doppelganger, and my bodyguard." She said, the same poker face on.

 

The smile fell from Elyza's face. "I thought one was supposed to be true."

 

"One is."

 

Elyza furrowed her brow. While the second one made less sense, Alicia  did say something that sounded like '12'. _Twel kru-de,_ or something.

 

"You-"

 

"Hey! You two are supposed to be getting alcohol, not having a quicky." Lindsi yelled from downstairs.

 

Alicia took the distraction to grab the backpack, and head out the door, avoiding Elyza's questions.

 

Alicia ran down the stairs. The couch was pushed back, and the the group were sitting in a circle. Alicia took an empty spot between Anya and Chris. Elyza joined them moments later, sitting across from Alicia, next to Ofelia.

 

Elyza took her bag and pulled out a bottle of vodka, a bottle of dark rum, and two bottles of whiskey. She also took about 10 nips from her bag and laid them on the floor. They varied in flavors and size.

 

"You didn't tell us that you we going to bring the whole liquor store," Gustus laughed.

 

Elyza bit her tongue and smiled.

 

Anya passed around a stack of red solo cups, everyone taking one.

 

"So what are we drinking?" Elyza asked.

 

"Ever hear of drink roulette?" Lindsi asked, a grin flashing across her face.

 

A few people nodded, but the majority shook their head.

 

"Really? Y'all never been to a college party?" She shook her head. "I'm gonna make a bunch of drinks, some weak, some hella strong. Some will have a lot, some not as much. We'll go around the circle, spin the bottle, and the cup you land on is yours. Got it?"

 

Everyone nodded.

 

Lindsi mixed 7 drink, one for each of them. Some cups were filled with straight liquor, others were with mixers. She placed them around the circle, setting the empty rum bottle in the middle.

 

Lindsi spun first, landing on some fruity thing. She rolled her eyes and took the drink.

 

"Just my luck, landing on the weakest drink." She muttered, pouring a few more ounces of vodka into it.

 

They went around the circle, Chris next. He got a vodka soda.

 

Next was Alicia. She spun and landed on a cup that was full to the rim.

 

"And she gets the strongest." Lindsi said.

 

"What is it?" Alicia asked, putting it in front of herself.

 

"Jack and coke, but it's about 75% Jack." She replied.

 

Anya went next, then Ofelia, then Gustus, and finally, Elyza.

 

Lindsi quickly went over the rules of the game. “Someone says something they’ve never done, and if you have done it, you drink.”

 

“Tu sonraun?” Anya asked, looking between Gustus and Alicia. Chris and Lindsi seemed unphased by the language change, but Ofelia and Elyza looked confused.

 

Gustus nodded. “Makes it more interesting.”

 

“Sha, Onya.” Alicia replied.

 

“You three done?” Lindsi asked. “Because I’m starting.”

 

They nodded.

 

“Hmm.” Lindsi hummed. “Never have I ever dropped out of college.”

 

Anya groaned, and took a sip of her drink. Elyza rolled her eyes and drank too.

 

Elyza narrowed her eyes. “Never have I ever finished college.”

 

“Ouch, Lex.” Lindsi feigned hurt.  Alicia’s head snapped up at the mention of Elyza’s lastname.

 

Everyone took a drink, except for Gustus.

 

Alicia shuttered, the harsh drink burning her throat.

 

“Never have I ever…” Chris thought for a moment. A smirk appeared on his face.  “Never have I ever fantasized about anyone in this room. And to make it interesting, drink once per person you’ve thought about.”

 

Elyza’s eyes went wide.  

 

Ofelia took a drink. Elyza, Lindsi, and Alicia took two.

 

“Not in this life though,” Gustus said, taking his first drink of the night.

 

Ofelia furrowed her brow. “What do you mean?” She asked him.

 

“Anya and him say they were reincarnated, so I guess they’re playing with… both lives?” Lindsi said, looking to them.

 

They both nodded.

 

“Alicia too.” Gustus added.

 

“Wait what?” Elyza asked.

 

“It's a long story,” Alicia said, dismissing it.

 

“My turn!” Ofelia exclaimed. “Never have I ever slept with someone within the first hour of meeting them.”

 

“You really never have been to a college party, shit.” Lindsi muttered, taking a drink.

 

Chris, Elyza, and Anya drank too.

 

Next was Anya. “Never have I ever called someone the wrong name while hooking up."

 

She looked at Chris from the side of her eye.

 

"Low blow Anya," He complained, taking a drink.

 

Elyza burst out laughing. "That happened?"

 

Chris' ears turned red. "It was one time and it wasn't even because I wished they were someone else, my mind was just wandering."

 

"Bullshit!" Anya accused. "Tell them whose name you said."

 

Chris was properly blushing now. He took a large sip of his drink. "Jarod."

 

"I knew you had a thing for him!" Elyza exclaimed. Lindsi was laughing now too.

 

"It wasn't like that!" He argued.

 

"Mmhm, sure." Elyza said. "Your turn Alicia."

 

Alicia thought for a moment. "Never have I ever slept with a girl" She grinned.

 

"You _hav en't_ _?"_ Lindsi asked.

 

"Nope."

 

"But aren't you and…?" Lindsi shook her head, confused.

 

Everyone took a drink.

 

"Never have I ever been arrested," Gustus said, amusement in his eyes.

 

"What is this? Get Anya shitfaced as fast as possible: The Game?" Anya complained as she drank.

 

Lindsi took a drink too.

 

"This sounds like a story," Alicia said, looking at both girls.

 

Anya shrugged. "I was part of a drug bust, but I was dating a trust fund kid and got bailed."

 

That was a story that most of the group had heard before. No one had heard Lindsi's however.

 

"I didn't know you were arrested, Lindsi," Gustus admitted.

 

"Chris was a part of it too, he just didn't get caught." Lindsi glared at him, and he smiled. "In my second semester at college, my buddy Sinclair, Chris, and I, hacked into the NASA website and I basically cleared myself for full access to the Mountain View headquarters. I also put myself on a list for space training, and going to the moon. I showed up for the first class and they didn't recognise my face, so I got thrown out, and apparently they thought I was a terrorist or something because they tracked my computer or some shit. About a month later, the FBI and SWAT team showed up at my house and took me to Pelican Bay State Prison up by Oregon. It's a maximum security prison, no trial or anything. I was sentenced to life in prison, but I only served 3 months before the charges were dropped due to lack of evidence. That's where Chris comes in."

 

"After she was taken to Pelican Bay, Sinclair and I hacked NASA again, and found all the legal papers and changed them, and sent them to the prison coordinator who was waiting for the charges and shit. We monitored the inbox until they said she would be released, then we routed all mail from Pelican Bay State Prison to come to my inbox instead, along with all outgoing mail to Pelican Bay. We wiped all evidence of the things we changed, then changed out IP address, and here we are." Chris explained.

 

"I'll go now I guess." Lindsi said. "I can only think of fucked up stuff."

 

"I'm buzzed enough for fucked up stuff," Ofelia said. People murmured in agreement.

 

"Okay." Lindsi began. "Never have I ever killed someone."

 

"Like a living person or a walker?" Ofelia asked.

 

"Living."

 

Alicia looked at Anya, who looked at Gustus.

 

"Not in this life at least," Alicia said, stealing Gustus' line from earlier.

 

Anya, Gustus, and Alicia drank together.

 

"Does manslaughter count?" Elyza asked quietly.

 

Lindsi shrugged. "If you want it to."

 

Elyza took a long drink, relief washing over her as no one asked her to explain.

 

Chris went next. "Never have I ever had a sexy dream about someone in this room."

 

Elyza looked at Alicia and Alicia met her gaze before looking away quickly.

 

Elyza, Alicia, Lindsi and Ofelia took a drink.

 

Chris met Lindsi's gaze with a smirk, and she raised her eyebrows at him.

 

Alicia went next. "Never have I ever done body shots."

 

"Me neither." Lindsi said, "We should sometime though."

 

Anya, Chris and Ofelia drank.

 

**~*~**

 

By the time the game finished, they were all sufficiently drunk. Chris had just gone upstairs, muttering something about needing to be rested if Lindsi couldn’t drive.

 

Gustus, who drank the least, also went up. He needed to be as rested as possible if he was going to be operating a motorcycle.

 

Anya, Alicia, Lindsi, Ofelia, and Elyza were left in the livingroom. Alicia was about halfway through her Jack and Coke, the soda flat.

 

Lindsi, who finished her drink a while ago, was passing a bottle of whiskey between herself and Ofelia.

 

“We should play Paranoia.” Elyza said out of the blue.

 

“What’s that?” Alicia asked.

 

“The person on your right whispers you a questions, the answer of which has to be a name of the person playing. Like ‘who’s the hottest in the room,’ something like that, and you have to respond out loud. If someone wants to know what the question was, they have to drink.” She explained.

 

“Yo that sounds really fun,” Lindsi said.

 

“Get in a circle,” Elyza commanded.

 

They had spread out when the guys left, so they reconfigured themselves in this formation: Lindsi, Alicia, Anya, Ofelia, and Elyza.

 

“I’ll start.” Elyza declared, leaning into Lindsi’s space. “If you had to do a body shot off of anyone in this room, who would you choose?” She whispered.

 

“Anya.” Lindsi answered.

 

“Ooo I want to know!” Anya exclaimed, taking a drink.

 

Lindsi blushed slightly as Elyza told her the question. “I asked if Lindsi had to do a body shot off of anyone in this room, who would she choose.”

 

Anya laughed. “Hey let's do it, grab limes and salt,”

 

“Really?” Lindsi asked, already getting up.

 

Anya just hummed in agreement.

 

Lindsi returned shortly with a bottle of tequila, a lime wedge and some salt.

 

Anya had cleared the table, and was laying on it with her shirt pulled up, exposing her stomach.

 

“I can't believe this is happening,” Alicia said, shaking her head.

 

Lindsi pushed the lime into Anya’s mouth, and shook a thin line of salt up her stomach towards her sternum.

 

“This is gonna be cold,” She warned, pouring the liquor onto Anya.

 

Her stomach muscles contracted at the temperature.

 

“You ready?” She asked.

 

Anya nodded.

 

Lindsi slowly licked up Anya’s stomach, collecting all the bitter liquid in her mouth. She sucked across the older girls skin, getting every drop. She licked a broad strip up Anya’s sternum, licking the salt away, before moving up and grabbing the lime from Anya’s mouth with her teeth, their lips meeting briefly.

 

Anya sucked in a breath. “That was fun,” She said, warily, readjusting her shirt. Both girls rejoined the circle, the air felt heavier now.

 

“Who’s next?” Anya asked.  

 

“Me,” Lindsi answered, leaning over to Alicia, a wicked grin across her face. “Ofelia or Elyza?” She whispered.

 

Alicia pulled back, surprised. “You can’t be serious,” She said.

 

Lindsi let out a maniacal laugh.

 

“I don’t even know what you mean.” Alicia argued.

 

Lindsi rolled her eyes and leaned in again. “Like if you could only have one of them in your life.”

 

Alicia rubbed her hands over her face. “I can’t.”

 

“Fine!” She leaned in a third time. “Who would you rather fuck.”

 

Alicia rolled her eyes now. “Elyza.”

 

Elyza sat up on her knees. “I want to know the question.”

 

Alicia’s ears turned red. “Absolutely not.”

 

“You get one chicken, do you want to use it now?” Elyza asked and Alicia nodded. “Then you need to take a shot,” She said, pouring a shot of tequila.

 

“No chaser,” Anya added.

 

Alicia groaned, taking her shot. She shuddered. She leaned over to Anya and whispered: “What turned you on more? The last person you were with or Lindsi just now?”

 

Anya paled. “I feel like you’re taking advantage of me.”

 

Alicia smirked. “I feel like you’re avoiding the question.”

 

Anya groaned, her head dropping back in an exaggerated manner. “Lindsi.”

 

Lindsi raised an eyebrow. “With a reaction like that, I need to know.”

 

Anya thought for a moment weighing her options. The night was getting really intense really fast, so she decide to let Lindsi know the question.

 

“Tell her, Alicia.”

 

“You sure? You still have your chicken.” Alicia replied.

 

“I'm sure, just hurry before I change my mind.”

 

Alicia nodded. “I asked What turned her on more? The last person she was with or Lindsi just now.”

 

Anya had her eyes shut, and Lindsi’s eyes widened.

 

Anya opened her eyes and leaned over to Ofelia, refusing to look at the other girl. “If you had to date anyone in this room, who would you choose?” She whispered, already knowing the answer.

 

Anya had a plan, and she was determined to get revenge.

 

Ofelia pursed her lips. “Alicia.”

 

Alicia raised an eyebrow and glanced at Elyza who had her knees pulled to her chest.

 

“I want to know.” Lindsi said, a smirk on her face.

 

Ofelia blushed. “You really don't…”

 

“I think I do.”

 

“I take my chicken,” Ofelia says, pouring herself a shot.

 

“Are you sure?” Anya asked with feigned concern.

 

Ofelia nodded and took her shot.

 

A wicked smirk fell across Anya’s face. Her plan was working.

 

Ofelia recovered from her shot and leaned over to Elyza. “Who’s most likely to get blackout drunk?”

 

Elyza thought for a moment. “Lindsi.”

 

Elyza waited for someone to protest, but no one did. She leaned over to Lindsi, who was still a little on edge from Anya’s earlier answer. “When Chris asked if anyone had ever had a sexy dream about someone in this room, you drank. Who was it about?”

 

“You and Anya,” She replied.

 

Elyza’s eyes widened. “At the same time?”

 

“You wish!” Lindsi shoved her. “Yours was a while ago,”

 

“I want to know,” Alicia said, noticing Elyza trying to get Lindsi to talk about Anya.

 

“Go ahead and tell her, El. I have no shame.” She leaned back, feigning calmness.

 

“I asked, When Chris asked if anyone had ever had a sexy dream about someone in this room, she drank. Who was it about?”

 

Anya kept her eyes downcast.

 

“You two are adorable, when’s the wedding?” Alicia asked.

 

“Oh fuck off!” Lindsi groaned.

 

“You're one to talk Ms. ‘Osir keryon ste teina’.” Anya shot back.

 

Alicia blushed, and Lindsi laughed, understanding.

 

“Touche,” Alicia said.

 

Lindsi leaned over to Alicia. “You drank too for the sexy dream question. I wonder who your dream could have been about,” Lindsi whispered. “Payback, bitch!”

 

She rolled her eyes. “Elyza.”

 

“Why don't you share with the group?” Anya asked.

 

She was out of chickens anyways. “Sure, I don't have control of my brain when I'm asleep."

 

“I asked the same question Elyza asked me.” Lindsi told the group.

 

Elyza smiled into her knees. “Told you I was irresistible!”

 

Alicia hummed. “I can't think of one.”

 

“We can skip me,” Anya said eagerly.

 

“If you want. I'm kinda falling asleep now anyways.” Elyza said.

 

Anya nodded. “I do have a question for Ofelia though.” She grinned.

 

“Great,” Ofelia replied sarcastically.

 

Anya leaned over. “You drank when Chris asked if you’ve ever fantasized about anyone in this room. Who was it?” She whispered, the second part of her revenge plan falling into place.

 

Ofelia blushed. “I can't believe you.” She said knowingly.

 

“Answer the question.” Anya replied, a shit-eating grin on her face.

 

“Alicia.”

 

“Well after that, we _have_ to know,” Lindsi said. Everyone nodded.

 

“Obviously.” Alicia added.

 

Ofelia tried to decide on hiding her face or keeping a poker face, taking the embarrassment.  

 

She chose the poker face.

 

“I said, You drank when Chris asked if you’ve ever fantasized about anyone in this room. Who was it?” Anya said.

 

The room fell silent.

 

Elyza stiffened.

 

Alicia was blushing, her lips pursed.

 

Lindsi’s eyes were wide, realizing the can of worms that Anya just opened.

 

The silence was unnerving, making Anya question her decision.

 

Lindsi tried to break the ice, “Well _I'm_ not surprised, Alicia is hot.”

 

Anya laughed, but it didn't really help.

 

“We should probably call it a night, we have a big trip tomorrow.” Elyza said, voice tight, as if her teeth were clenched.

 

“Yeah,” Alicia agreed.

 

The group began to break up, Lindsi putting the tequila, salt, and limes away, Elyza putting the liquor back into the bag.

 

“Can I talk to you before you go up?” Ofelia asked Alicia quietly.

 

Alicia nodded.

 

Lindsi and Anya went up first.

 

“Use protection!” Elyza called after them, stealing Lindsi’s line from earlier that week. “You coming Alicia?” She asked.

 

“I'll be up in a minute,” She told Elyza, who nodded, going upstairs.

 

“So what's going on?” She asked Ofelia once they were alone.

 

“I just wanted to explain. About the last question I mean.”

 

She felt like she should be more embarrassed by this confrontation, but she was beyond tipsy. “You don't have to do that, O.”

 

“I want to. I just… when we first met we had this connection, and I thought we had something.” She shook her head. “That we could have, I mean. So of course I thought about you.” She blushed.

 

“I love you to death Ofelia, but I only really see you as a friend,”

 

Before she met Elyza and learned about Clarke, she could see herself having something with Ofelia, but nothing could compare to what she had with Elyza. Even the playful kisses they’ve shared have held so much electricity.

 

“I understand, I just thought you should know I wasn't, like, thinking of you in a creepy way,” She laughed. “I didn't want to make anything weird.”

 

Alicia laughed too. “I didn't think that, but I appreciate the explanation.”

 

Alicia went upstairs shortly after.

 

She tiptoed into Elyza's room, incase she was sleeping. She was sitting on her bed, guitar in her lap. She was picking the opening to a song called ‘Talking in Code’ by Margot & the Nuclear So and Sos. She recognized it from a Pandora station that she liked.

 

Elyza didn't seem to notice her come in.

 

“ _I gotta go, and you're talking in code, sayin’ I know where you've been, and I know where you'd go…_ ” She sang. “ _But I've been tired from the minute I woke, I stopped listening the moment you spoke, and said I'm long gone, yeah I'm long gone._ ”

 

Elyza was quite talented in both singing and playing guitar. Her voice was very unique, having a slight rasp that gave Alicia goosebumps.

 

“ _And I'm sleeping alone in a house I don't own, ‘cause if you're touring your mind, you'll get lost everytime. And you'll sing me sad songs to keep me awake in that bedroom we hid away, baby I'm long gone, yeah I'm long gone,_ ”

 

She played a short solo.

 

“ _And your voice cracks, like a piano, you keep moving, but where are you goin’, baby we’re long gone, yeah we’re long gone._ ” She finished, ending the song.

 

“You're wonderful,” Alicia said quietly, trying not to startle the older girl.

 

If Elyza jumped, she didn't show it. “Oh, hey! Thanks!”

 

“How long have you been playing?”

 

“Uhh,” Elyza began. “About 10 years now.”

 

“That's really impressive,” Alicia said.

 

“Thank you!”

 

“What's the hardest song you can play?” Alicia asked.

 

Elyza thought for a moment. “Probably ‘Mountains’ by Message to Bears.”

 

“I don't think I know that song…”

 

“It goes like this,” Elyza began, starting the song.

 

Her fingers danced over the strings, plucking them with ease. “ _We could run away, before the light of day, you know we always could come out and say, the mountains say, that we could run away before the light of day, you know we always could come out and say, the mountains say…”_ The song was mostly guitar.

 

“You're really good with your fingers,” Alicia said, cringing when she realized what she said.

 

Elyza laughed.

 

“I didn't mean it like that,” she said.

 

Elyza put her guitar back on it’s stand.  “Come to bed,” she said, holding her arms out and flopping back on her bed.

 

Alicia turned on the desk lamp and shut of the overhead lights.

 

She stripped down to her tank top and panties, joining Elyza. The older girl pulled her into her arms.

 

“Are you still drunk?” Alicia asked, switching the desk lamp off.

 

“Nah, just a little tipsy,” she lied, burying her face in Alicia's neck. “What about you?” Elyza's lips brushed across Alicia's throat with every word, sending shivers up her spine.

 

“About the same,” she replied.

 

“You said you had a sexy dream about me,” Elyza smiled against her, her teeth brushing against her neck.

 

“I did say that, didn't I.”

 

Elyza kissed just below her jaw. “That's hot,” she replied, her voice slow and deep.

 

Alicia chuckled. “You need to sleep,”

 

Elyza groaned. “But I wanna kiss you,” she said, kissing the corner of Alicia's mouth.

 

A loud moan vibrated through the wall, causing Elyza to burst out laughing.

 

“Was that Lindsi?” Alicia asked.

 

“Yes it was,” Elyza grinned.

 

Alicia's eyes met Elyza's, just studying them. They were blue like Clarke’s and it made her heart ache.

 

Elyza must have sensed the change of emotion, because her smile fell and she kissed Alicia, her hand resting on her upper stomach, below her breasts.

 

Alicia kissed her back, her lips tingling. She loved kissing Elyza more than anything else.

 

Elyza licked across her bottom lip, asking to deepen the kiss. She accepted.

 

This kiss was slow and lazy, just enjoying each other’s company.

 

Elyza’s hand began traveling lower, but Alicia stopped it.

 

“Not tonight,” she mumbled against her lips.

 

“But I wanna make you moan,” Elyza complained. “I want you to moan so they know you're mine.”

 

Alicia's heart skipped a beat. “I'm yours?”

 

“Yes. You're mine,” Elyza said, her voice dropping to a whisper as she falls asleep.

 

* * *

 

Alicia was the last one awake the next morning.

 

Chris and Gustus were up first, loading the car with the supplies. Ofelia was awake when they came downstairs. Anya and Lindsi were up next. Anya was caught leaving Lindsi’s room early that morning, but she claimed that she was just waking the other girl. The smell of sex still lingered in the air, but Ofelia didn't comment on it. It wasn't her place. Next was Elyza. She forced herself out of bed and to the kitchen, immediately taking 3 Advil and drinking 2 glasses of water.

 

They let Alicia sleep until the last minute, assuming she would be most hungover since she drank the most. This had been Alicia’s first time drinking, but she turned out to be quite the heavyweight compared to Elyza who you wouldn't expect to be a lightweight.

 

Alicia woke up to the sun shining in her eyes. On the table next to her bed was a glass of water, the bottle of Advil and a note. The note read:

 

_Alicia,_

_Make sure to wear a thick pair of jeans, you’re going to be on a motorcycle. I left some Advil for your hangover. I don't remember much of last night, so sorry if I was weird._

 

❤ _Elyza_

 

She took the Advil, her head pounding. She dressed in a pair of acid washed jeans with a few rips, and a loose cut off tank top over a lacy bandeau.

 

She ran downstairs, the group waiting for her.

 

Elyza looked sinful. She was wearing dark jeans and tall combat boots. Her leather jacket was zipped up and her hair was wavy.

 

“She has awoken from her coma,” Lindsi said, smirking.

 

“Yeah, sorry I slept so long. It’s hard to fall asleep when your neighbors are moaning all night,” She shot back with ease, laughing as the smirk fell from Lindsi’s face.

 

Elyza burst out laughing. “I remember that! That was fucking funny.”

 

Anya slapped her arm.

 

“What else do you remember from last night?” Lindsi asked.

 

“Not much,” She answered honestly. “I remember a body shot, some secondhand embarrassment, picking up chicks with my guitar, lots of moaning, and-” Elyza stopped short. She looked at Alicia, eyes wide. She remembered what she said right before she fell asleep.

 

Elyza was blushing a dark red, something that rarely ever happened.

 

“Shit El, what did you do?” Lindsi asked.

 

“More like ‘What did I say?’” She replied. A wide smile fell across Alicia’s face.

 

Chris clapped his hands together. “We should get going. It’s a 70 mile trip to Crestline, and at 15 miles we have to call Dvon.”

 

“We have everything loaded up, so let's go!” Gustus announced.

 

Since everything was packed earlier that morning, all they had to do was leave.

 

She followed Elyza to her bike, accepting the helmet she was holding out for her and putting it on.

 

“You ever been on a motorcycle before?” She asked.

 

“No,” Alicia replied.

 

“It's lots of fun, just make sure you hold on tight” She began as Alicia climbed on behind her. “You should hold on to me, but if you're not comfortable with that you can hold the strap on the seat in front of you.”

 

“I'll hold onto you.”

 

“Sweet.”

 

Ofelia, Chris, and Lindsi piled into the small car and waited.

 

“It's about 15 miles until we're out of the dead zone. We'll stop there and make the call.” Anya called, putting her helmet on, and getting on the bike with Gustus.

 

Elyza started up her motorcycle, and began down the street, going slow at first. Alicia’s arms were wrapped firmly around Elyza’s waist, her head resting on her shoulder.

 

Alicia glanced in the side mirror, seeing Gustus and Lindsi following closely behind.

  
  


They had only been on the road for what felt like 10 minutes before Elyza turned onto a main road, and pulled over.

 

Gustus pulled up behind her, Lindsi following suit.

 

Everyone got out, standing in a semi circle around Alicia.

 

Her phone was buzzing almost constantly for a minute or two.

 

“Your mom, or Jackson called 13 times, Elyza,” she said handing her the phone.

 

“Thanks,” she said, worry in her voice as she took the phone.

 

She turned on speaker and played a voicemail.

 

“ _Hey, it's Jackson_ ,” Jackson began, sounding frantic. “ _Things are getting bad, El. Real bad._ ” He was whispering. “ _We have 3 living subjects and 10 dead ones. The cures aren't working, they're getting worse. We injected one with- shit your mom is coming._ ” The message ended.

 

Elyza played the next one. It was Jackson again, two days after the last.

 

“ _Elyza you need to get down here. For our living subjects we use to grab people off the street, ones that were old and sick. We'd nurse them back to health, then, well, test on them, but now we're just taking anyone. There's a_ kid _here Elyza._ _Abby thinks younger people will be able to fight the disease easier. I don't think- shit, hold on.”_ The message was still playing, but it was muffled. “ _Who are you talking to, Jackson?”_ It was Abby. “ _I-I was just trying to get in contact with the governor, like Andrew asked.”_ It was silent for a moment. “ _Oh, I see. I just needed help with the big one, Rick. Something strange has happened. He is getting intense seizures.”_ Abby said. “ _Alright I'll just be a moment.”_ It was silent. “ _Elyza the treatments aren't working. We aren't curing them, we're making them worse. They're mutating. Please help us.”_

 

“The fuck does he mean by ‘they're mutating’?” Anya asked angrily.

 

“What ever they're injecting them with must have had some side effects.” Lindsi replied.

 

“There's one more.” Elyza said, playing the last message.

 

“ _Hi sweetheart, it's mom. Just wanted to check in on you, I miss you. We're doing really great things here. Hope I'll be home soon. Love you!”_

 

Elyza sighed. No one really knew what to say.

 

“You have Dvon’s number?” Elyza asked, handing the phone to Chris.

 

“Yes,” he replied simply, punching in the number.

 

Chris put it on speaker. “Hey Dvon?” He asked.

 

“ _Yeah, who's this_?” He asked.

 

“Hey man, it's Chris.”

 

“ _Chris! You're okay, I'm so glad! What are you up to buddy?_ ”

 

“Well me and a few friends are going to DC and we need someone to fly us.”

 

“ _You're seriously asking me to fly you somewhere? I’d love to man! You have a plane? Where are you?_ ”

 

“Yeah we have a plane up in Crestline. We just entered Orange. Are you still in Anaheim?”

 

“ _I am,_ ”

 

“You wanna meet us somewhere, or do we have to pick you up?”

 

“ _Uhm,_ ” he paused. “ _I could probably meet you at like, the edge of Anaheim, behind Disneyland?_ ”

 

“Sounds good, we can be there in like 2 minutes,”

 

“ _Okay, I'll be waiting for you. I also got something you might like_.”

 

“Sweet. See you.”

 

He ended the call and gave the phone back to Alicia.

 

“Do you wanna call Jackson?” She asked Elyza.

 

“Not right now,” she said simply, getting back on her bike. Alicia joined her.

 

“Do you know how to get to Disney?” Chris asked her.

 

“Yeah, isn't that the place where you and Dvon smoke?”

 

“Yep,”

 

“I know where we're going,” Elyza reassured him.

 

They sped off again. It was a really short ride up the freeway, but they had to take the backroads, Lindsi’s car too big to maneuver through the backup.

 

Elyza pulled into an alley behind Minnie’s abandoned House. It seemed as if they were the first ones there, the alley was quiet.

 

Lindsi pulled her car so it was blocking one entrance to the alley, sealing them off.

 

“Wait wait wait, Gustus, cut your engine,” Elyza said, turning hers off as well.

 

“Wha-”

 

“Shh!” She said, standing up and taking her helmet off. Everyone was quiet.

 

A shuffling came from behind the alley. Elyza pulled the shotgun off her back and cocked it, pointing it at the open end of the alley.

 

“It might be Dvon-” Chris protested.

 

“And what if it's not?” Elyza whispered harshly.

 

The shuffling got closer, and closer, then a figure emerged from the shadows. It was Mickey Mouse. Well, it was someone in a Mickey Mouse costume.

 

Elyza lowered her gun. “You scared the shit out of us, mate,” She said.

 

The man didn't respond. Alicia got off the motorcycle, bat in hand.

 

“You ’right?” Elyza took a few steps to the man who was slowly approaching.

 

Alicia was moving forward too, she was standing a few feet in front of Elyza’s motorcycle now.

 

Elyza was right in front of the man now. She reached forward and grabbed the nose of the mouse, pulling his head off.

 

She jumped back in surprise as the walker lept forward, pinning her to the ground.

 

Elyza fell to her back, her shotgun going off and clipping it's arm. She dropped the gun and tried to push it off, but it was too strong. “Fuck, get off!” She yelled, shoving it.

 

Alicia ran to them, immediately shoving the top spike through the walker’s skull. She ripped her bat out, blood spurting out of the hole in it's head.

 

“Yuck,” Elyza shuttered, pushing the corpse off of her. It landed by her side with a thud. The ends of Elyza’s hair are stained a brownish red, from the blood. It reminds Alicia of something.

 

She didn't realize she was holding her hand out until Elyza grabbed it, pulling herself up. “You saved my life,” Elyza whispered.

 

Their hands were still connected. “I guess that makes us even.” She smiled.

  
  


Alicia studied the other girl.  Elyza’s hair soaked up a lot of the blood, half of her hair was red. She squinted at Elyza. “I think-” She stumbled forward, into Elyza’s arms.

 

Elyza held her tight to her body, keeping her upright. “Wanheda,” She whispered, blacking out.

 

_Her vision returned while she was standing a few feet from Clarke. Clarke was standing in front of a large window, turning as she entered the room._

 

_“What part of ‘I won't see you’  was unclear?”_

 

_Clarke was dressed in thick clothes, her hair matted. Dark purple and red streaks poking out from between her blonde locks._

 

_“I respected your wishes for a week, Clarke, but we’ve got bigger concerns,” She replied._

 

“We _don't have any concerns at all.”_

 

_“Yes we do,” She replied quickly, moving towards Clarke. “I’m hosting a summit with Skaikru at sundown. You’ll be returned to your people.”_

 

_Clarke took a few steps forward. “You went to all that trouble to capture me just to let me go?” She sounded cocky._

 

 _“I went to all that trouble to_ save _you,” She replied. She smirked internally at how easy it was to shut her down._

 

_Clarke looked away, then back again. “You know when I could’ve used saving? When you abandoned me at Mount Weather.”_

 

_She tilted her head upwards. “Clearly you didn't need my help.” She said sounding faintly aloof._

 

_“Clearly,” Clarke replied sounding annoyed. She turned to walk around the room in an arc._

 

_“You’re angry Clarke, but I know you. What you've done haunts you, and it's easier to hate me than to hate yourself.”_

 

_“Oh, I can do both,” She said harshly._

 

_She wasn't expecting that._

 

_“What would you have done if their leader had offered you the deal? Save your people at the price of mine. Would you really have chosen differently.” It wasn't a question._

 

_“I don't betray my friends.”_

 

_“But you did,” She began. “You had friends in Mount Weather.”_

 

_“Those deaths are on you too. The only difference is, you have no honor and I had no choice.” Her voice bordered on shaking._

 

 _She stepped closer to Clarke. “It helps no one to dwell on the past, and that's not why I’m here.  You're right, I'm not just letting you go back to your people. I want something more. I want your people to_ become _my people.” She paused. Clarke shook her head. “I'm offering Skaikru the chance to join my coalition. Become the 13th clan. No one would dare to move against you because that would be moving against me.”_

 

_Clarke let out a short breath. “Leave me alone. I’m done. Do you understand that?” Her voice getting more harsh with each word. “I left.”_

 

_“You can't run away from who you are, Clarke,” She interrupted. Clarke shook her head again. “Join me.” Clarke’s eyes shot up. “Bow before me, and your people will be safe.”_

 

“Bow _before_ you _? You don't give a damn about my people.” She paused. “I know why you're here. I made you look weak at Mount Weather… ”_

 

_She swallowed._

 

 _“...and now the Ice Nation is exploiting that. Well if you want the power of Wanheda, kill me. Take it. Otherwise go float yourself because I will_ never _bow to you.”_

 

_The words made chills run down her spine._

 

_Clarke walked away._

 

_Her vision got dark for a moment before reappearing._

 

_She’s walking into Clarke’s room again, quickly. This time Clarke is facing the wall near her bed._

 

_She paused, waiting for Clarke to turn, but she didn't._

 

_“You wanted to see me? I’m here.” She said quietly, trying to hide the eagerness in her voice._

 

_Clarke didn't reply, just stayed facing the wall._

 

_“Clarke?” She asked taking two steps towards her._

 

_Before she could even flinch, Clarke spun around and grabbed her shoulder, pressing a knife to her throat._

 

_They stumbled back a few steps._

 

_Clarke was breathing hard, pressing the blade into her throat. She prepared herself for pain, but none came._

 

_Her lips had parted in surprise, but she didn't push the other girl away. Still breathing hard, Clarke studied her eyes. The normal blue of her eyes had dulled to a greyish color._

 

_She swallowed hard, waiting for Clarke to make a move, but she stood there as if she were waiting for something._

 

_“I’m sorry,” She whispered, surprising herself. Clarke’s eyebrows came together and her mouth was pulled into a grimace as she tried not to cry. She shook her head, sniffling as she shoved her back._

 

_Clarke turned, letting the dagger drop to the floor with a loud clang. She was visibly shaking._

 

_She took a deep breath trying to control her emotions, but her vision became blurry and she was crying too. She reached up to wipe her tears away, but she couldn't. She was crying inside herself, as Alicia. As Lexa however, she had blinked back her tears._

 

_“I never meant to turn you into this,” She said for both herself and Clarke._

 

_Clarke sniffled again._

 

_“You’re free to go,” Clarke shook her head, still facing away from her. “Your mother is here, I’ll have you escorted to her.”_

 

_She began to leave the room. “Wait,” Clarke called to her. She stopped. “I have a better idea.”_

 

_She turned back to Clarke, but the action made her dizzy. Everything went dark._

  
  


She woke with a start, her head in Elyza’s lap and a man standing over her. He looked familiar. _Jasper_.

 

Elyza didn't say anything, but looked visibly relaxed when Alicia woke up. She rubbed her thumb over Alicia’s knuckles, their hands intertwined.

 

“Dvon?” She asked, sitting up.

 

“Yeah, do I know you?” He asked, lighting something that _definitely_ wasn't a cigarette.

 

She looked at Anya who also looked mildly surprised.

 

“I have a common looking face,” He shrugged when Alicia didn't reply. He passed the joint to Chris.

 

“We should go.” Elyza said, her voice soft, but commanding.

 

Alicia got up, letting go of Elyza’s hand.

 

“Hey,” Anya called to her.

 

“Hmm?”

 

Anya waited a moment for everyone to disperse. “You called her Wanheda then passed out.”

 

“Yeah?” Alicia said confused.

 

“Why?” Anya asked.

 

“Neither of us knows why this is happening, Anya.”

 

“No, that's not what I mean. Are these blackouts triggered by something?” Anya asked.  

 

“The random blackouts seem to be triggered, but the dreams are kinda random”

 

“What triggered this one?”

 

“Cla-” She blushed at her mistake. “ _Elyza’s_ hair soaked up the blood and it looked similar to when she came to Polis for the first time. I didn't even know I called her Wanheda.” Alicia explained.

 

Anya nodded. “Do are they going in any kind of order?”

 

“Again, the dreams are pretty random. Probably out of order, but I can't be sure.”

 

Anya thought for a moment. “Maybe we can force all your memories out by triggering them. Tell me, in order of when they happened, what you remember so far.”

 

“Like from the first time I blacked out until now?”

 

“Yes.” Anya pulled a notebook and pen out of her motorcycle’s side bag

 

“Alright,” Alicia thought for a moment.

 

“The first one was very cryptic, It was the Traveler’s Blessing, and I couldn't see anything, but I felt this pain in my sternum and the back of my neck. Someone was saying something about a ritual and sacred symbol.

 

“For a while I couldn't see Clarke’s face. It's like I had to figure it out on my own that they were the same people.”

 

Anya wrote something down.

 

“The second was another dream. I was in bed with who I now assume is Clarke. She was tracing shapes on my back and asking me about a number 8, whom I really didn't want to talk about apparently. The scene changed, as it often does, and I was talking about a woman named Costia, and what Azgeda did to her.

 

“The third was with Gustus, and it was my first blackout. He mentioned Titus and it triggered the memory of him basically telling me to stay away from Clarke, that it was dangerous. Then I was with Clarke, I still couldn't see her face, but we kissed and I have never felt anything like it before, Anya. The passion I feel for her,” She could feel tears coming on, but she held them back.

 

“Fourth was a dream. I was in a forest with Clarke and some other people I couldn't name. I betrayed Clarke at the Mountain. Then there was talk of Wanheda, the first I had heard of her. She burned 300 of my warriors alive, she defeated the mountain men, Azgeda was looking for her. If you killed Wanheda, you would gain her powers. I told someone to bring Wanheda to me. And they did. Clarke was brought to me on her knees. She spit at me, called me a bitch, and said, ‘You want the commander of death? You got her,’

 

“Fifth was when we found a walker named Finn. I blacked out, and saw Clarke kill Finn.

 

“Sixth was…” She paused, blushing. “We were flirting and I guess it triggered something because I blacked out and I remembered kissing Clarke in my war tent. When I pulled away, I could see her face for the first time. They have the same face save some scars.

 

“Seventh was after Elyza and I first kissed. She was, uh,” A blush rose to her cheeks.

 

“She was kissing my neck and I blacked out. I was at a big dinner, Gustus was there. That's when I noticed that the people who had died in that reality remembered their lives, while the ones still living didn't.

 

“I thought Lindsi- _Raven_ had tried to poison me. She was tortured but Clarke and Bellamy figured out that it was the cup that was poisoned, that Gustus had tried to end the alliance. I had to-” She was tearing up again. “I had to kill him.”

 

“Eighth was a dream, after we came back with Ofelia. Clarke came and told me she was leaving, and we kissed again, I was crying, and we slept together, but I woke up before it got too intense. Turns out I moaned ‘Clarke’ in my sleep and Elyza heard. We had an… interesting conversation.  

 

“Ninth was just now. Clarke was in her room at Polis, we argued about my betrayal and her joining my coalition. Said she would _never_ bow to me. Then she pressed a knife to my throat and I apologized and she cried. I felt like I was going to go into another scene, but I woke up instead.” She explained.

 

Anya hummed, writing furiously. She scribbled out a list and handed it to Alicia. “This is the order that everything happened when you were Lexa. The number at the end in parenthesis is when you had the dream.

 

Alicia looked at the paper. It was very messy and hard to understand.

 

It read:

 

Alicia’s Interdimensional Love Timeline

  1. Finn (5th)
  2. Costia (2nd)
  3. Raven Poisoning (7th)
  4. Gustus’ death (7th)
  5. War tent kiss (6th)
  6. Betrayal (4th / 9th)
  7. Wanheda Spit (4th)
  8. Clarke at Polis (9th)
  9. Titus (3rd)
  10. The teary kiss (3rd / 8th)
  11. Number 8 (2nd)
  12. Traveler’s Blessing (1st)



 

She kind of understood.

 

“Now there are a lot of missing pieces though too, and today we’re gonna try something.”

 

Anya crossed out ‘Traveler’s Blessing’ and wrote ‘Fealty’, moving ‘Traveler’s Blessing’ halfway down the page, unnumbered.

 

“We have somewhere to be, y’know,” Lindsi complained.

 

Anya rolled her eyes. “We’ll take care of this later,” She said, getting on her bike.

 

Alicia made her way back to Elyza, getting on the bike with her. She loved being so close to her.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fucking fixed it. And I am so glad I did. I dont want work I'm unhappy with posted here. I'll figure out a way to add drama without MCD or random sex, I promise.
> 
> Follow my Tumblr for fic updates! : heda-over-heels-in-love.tumblr.com
> 
> TRANSLATIONS: (Some of this is very broken Trigedasleng because I just threw sentences together without worrying about grammar)  
> "Onya" - "Anya"  
> "Ai don Leksa kom Trikru, Heda kom twel kru-de." - "I am Lexa kom Trikru, Commander of the 12 clans."  
> "Tu sonraun" - "Two (one's) Life"  
> "Sha, Onya," - "Yes, Anya"  
> "Osir keryon ste teina" - "Our souls are intertwined."


	14. And So The Stars Fell In Love With The Sea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *So pay attention to the tags for this chapter.*
> 
> Also a trigger warning for suicidal thoughts and self harm. Its very minor but its there. Since this chapter is so long, (its literally 1/4 of the total word count) Ill give a trigger warning in the text before it happens. 
> 
> Reminder that there is no MCD in this fic and there never will be! 
> 
> This is the song referenced. I recommend it. It ruined lives. http://bit.ly/1Z6dt6l

 

It only took the group a total of 45 minutes to get up to Crestline, but it only felt like a few moments to Alicia. Being pressed up against the girl you lo-  _ really like _ , makes time fly. 

 

Alicia was leaning against Elyza, her body flush against the older girl, her arms wrapped around her. Alicia let her hands rest against Elyza's lower stomach. 

 

Maria and Rob lived in a two story house, with a large chain link fence surrounding the whole thing in the center of Crestline. Their house was situated in the middle of dense forest, on Lake Gregory. 

 

Elyza and Lindsi lead them to the gate, undoing the two clasps holding it shut. Dead bodies littered the ground around the fence. 

 

Elyza knocked on the door, Alicia following close behind. 

 

The door opened seconds later, a shotgun staring them in the face. 

 

“Oi Rob. C’mon mate.” Elyza said, grabbing the shotgun by the barrel. 

 

“Elyza Lex is that you?” Rob asked, with a heavy Australian accent. 

 

“Yeah, let us in.”

 

Rob opened the door and raised his eyebrows at the amount of people at his door. “Uhm. I didn't know you were bringing and army,” he commented. 

 

Elyza laughed. “We were hoping we could stay with you a while. We can talk about it inside?” 

 

Rob nodded hesitantly. “I mean I'm fine with it, but Marie…” 

 

“What about me?” Marie asked, popping into the open door. She froze at all the people staring at her. 

 

She was incredibly beautiful with long black hair and a jawline that could kill. She also had a thick purple scar going through her right eye. The eye was white. 

 

“Marie!” Lindsi exclaimed, hugging the girl. 

 

“What are you doing here?” She asked into Lindsi's shoulder. 

 

“They're gonna stay with us for a while,” Rob explained. 

 

Lindsi let herself in, dragging Marie with her. 

 

“I'll introduce you to everyone,” Elyza said to Rob. 

 

Chris came forward first. “You know Chris,” Elyza said. “And that's his friend Dvon,” 

 

Dvon nodded at him and followed Chris into the house. 

  
  


Anya and Gustus were next. 

 

“This is Anya and Gustus. You remember them right? They came to one of your parties.”

 

“You should know by now that I rarely remember my parties.”

 

Gustus laughed and shook his hand, going inside with Anya. 

 

“And this is Ofelia,” 

 

She shook his hand and followed her friends inside 

 

Alicia didn't realize their fingers were intertwined until Elyza squeezed them. “And this is Alicia my…” Elyza hesitated. What were they? “My friend,” she decided for now. Alicia tensed. 

 

Rob didn't look convinced, but nodded at her anyways. 

 

They went inside and settled in the living room with everyone else. 

 

“What's this about?” Marie asked, not pushing the hair away when it fell in front of her face. 

 

“About 4 days ago I started getting calls from Jackson, my mom's assistant. He stays that she's too involved in her work and bad things are happening, so we're going to get them,”

 

Alicia rubbed her thumb over Elyza's knuckles. 

 

“From DC?” Rob asked. 

 

“Yeah, that's why we're here. We were wondering if we would use your plane.”

 

“I'll be flying it,” Dvon added. 

 

Rob scoffed. “Don't trust me to fly my own goddamn plane?” 

 

“Well Dvon has his license and you don't so…” Lindsi said. 

 

Marie laughed. 

 

“Touché” Rob said. “Yeah, you can use it. When?”

 

“As soon as possible,” Elyza replied. 

 

“Well that might not be for a while,” Dvon commented. 

 

Rob nodded. “Looks like a storm is moving in from the west.”

 

“Can we make it before the storm starts?” Elyza asked. 

 

Rob shook his head. “Not unless you're suicidal.”

 

That answered that. 

 

“Can we stay until it's okay to fly?” Lindsi asked. 

 

“I don't see why that would be a problem.” Maria said. 

 

Rob agreed. “We're going to need more wood though,” he said. 

 

Chris, Gustus, and Anya went with Rob to collect wood. 

 

Alicia was curled up next to Elyza on the couch, still holding her hand. 

 

“How'd you meet Rob and Marie?” She asked, leaning on Elyza's shoulder. “Rob sounds Australian too,” 

 

“Yeah, I met Rob when I lived in Australia. He lived with his mom, before Marie was born. We lived right next to each other, our parents were close friends. When their mom died, Rob was 5. I was 4 and Marie had just turned 2, and they had to go to their dad here in the states. They were my best friends, so losing them was really hard, but I ended up moving to America 3 years later anyways when my dad died. My mom left for better work and stayed with their father, Dan until she got back on her feet. That's actually how I met Lindsi. Her and Marie were- and still are best friends. It was funny, Rob started losing his accent, but would watch Australian sitcoms so he wouldn't.” 

 

Alicia laughed. “Do you miss having a strong accent?” She asked. 

 

Elyza shrugged. “It was a good chat up line,” she smiled. “But yeah. It makes me feel closer to my dad,”

 

She was quiet for a moment. “I can't really tell if I still have it or not to tell you the truth,”

 

“You usually do,” Alicia reassured her. “I can hear it when you whisper, and when you yell. It's cute.” 

 

“That's how I pick up chicks,” Elyza laughed. 

 

“You need your accent to pick up chicks?” Alicia challenged. 

 

Elyza wrapped her arm across Alicia, letting it rest on the younger girls hip. She pulled her closer and pressed her forehead to Alicia's temple, her breath hitting Alicia's ear. “I don't think you really believe that,” she whispered in her best American accent. 

 

Alicia shivered. 

 

“Get a room!” Lindsi called throwing a pillow at them. 

 

Ofelia looked tense. 

 

Elyza leaned away from Alicia again. “Says the girl who was moaning so loud last night that every biter on the block heard you,” Elyza tossed back easily. 

 

Marie's face fell, but she quickly recovered. “You got laid and you didn't even tell your best friend?” She asked with mock shock. 

 

Lindsi was blushing. “You're one to talk, Elyza! I hear you moaning practically every night, regardless of if you have someone in your room with you or not!” She shot back with a laugh. 

 

Alicia burst out laughing. “Don't encourage her!” Elyza complained. “Lindsi, let's not forget that one time you called me while I was in driver's Ed because you were high and thought your vagina swallowed your vibrator.”

 

“That was one time! Why do you always bring that up?” She whined. 

 

Everyone was laughing now. 

 

“Because it was an incredible bonding experience,” Elyza said through her laughter. 

 

“Fishing a vibrator out of my vagina is _not_ a bonding experience!”

 

“I don't need the visuals!” Alicia groaned.

 

“I don't know, my visuals are pretty appealing.” Lindsi said wiggling her eyebrows. 

 

Alicia rolled her eyes. 

 

Anya came through the door moments later. “They said they didn't need me,” she pouted. 

 

“I'll always need you, An!” Lindsi said dramatically, holding her arms out. 

 

Anya falls onto the couch against Lindsi, pinning her between Marie and herself. 

 

Anya's face lit up. “Hey Alicia, wanna do that thing?” Anya asked. 

 

“Sure, what do we need?”

 

“We need Elyza,” She raised her eyebrows at Anya. “We also need hairspray, hair elastics and eyeliner.” She turned to Marie. “Do you have any of those things?” 

 

Marie nodded. “I have all three, hang on,” 

 

Marie ran upstairs. 

 

“What do you need me for?” Elyza asked. 

 

“We're going to trigger more of Alicia's blackouts.”

 

“Using me? Why would she want more blackouts.”

 

“I'm sure Alicia will tell you when she's ready."

 

~*~

 

When Marie came back downstairs, Alicia was sent to the kitchen to wait. After a few minutes, Lindsi joined her. 

 

“You and Anya, huh?” She asked when the girl took a seat next to her. 

 

She expected Lindsi to shove her or something, but she didn't. Lindsi only shrugged. “She's really nice.” She said simply. 

 

“And Marie?” Alicia asked. 

 

“What about Marie?” Lindsi asked. 

 

Alicia just shook her head. 

 

It was quiet for a few minutes. 

 

“Are you gay too?” Alicia asked. She knew it wasn't very polite, but she considered them friends now. 

 

“Nah, I'm bisexual. I actually had a boyfriend before this all started.” 

 

“I did too,” Alicia said. “Is he…” She let her voice trail off. 

 

“I don't know. Yours?”

 

“Yeah. He was really sick. We just left him.” Alicia said, cringing at the memory. 

 

“I met him through Elyza. She briefly dated him before she was out. He worked at the liquor store down the street, under the table because he looked so much older. He would sneak us alcohol.”

 

Alicia tensed. “What was his name?” She asked, fearing the answer. 

 

“Finn,” 

 

Alicia's whole body went rigid. 

 

Lindsi didn't notice, she laughed. “He thought he knew Elyza from somewhere. I think it was just a pick up line though.” 

 

She turned to Alicia, who was covering her mouth with her hands, leaning on her knees. Her face fell. 

 

“Alicia? You alright?” Lindsi asked. 

 

“Oh Lindsi. I'm so so sorry,” she said, not meeting her eyes. 

 

“What do you mean you're sorry?” Lindsi asked, panic in her voice. 

 

“Elyza and I found him,” 

 

“You… Found him?”

 

Alicia nodded. “In the liquor store. I'm so sorry.” 

 

“He was-” Lindsi couldn't say the word. 

 

“Can you get my backpack for me?” Alicia asked, knowing she can't go in the living room yet. 

 

Lindsi nodded numbly. 

 

She returned a few moments later. 

 

Alicia took the bag and pulled out a stack of notes, sifting through them. She pulled Finn's note out and handed it to Lindsi. 

 

“We found it on him,” 

 

Lindsi nodded, opening the note. 

 

“Licia we’re ready for you,” Anya called. 

 

Lindsi nodded, telling her to go on. 

 

The rest of the group had returned, Rob standing in front of Elyza, who had her back to Alicia. 

 

Anya came and stood next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder in case she fell. 

 

“Turn around El,” Anya said. 

 

Elyza spun around, facing Alicia. 

 

Alicia's breath caught in her throat. Elyza had a thick fishtail braid going down the center of her head, the hair on the sides of her head were braided down and back behind her ears. The rest of her hair hung loosely around her shoulders. A few streaks of pink and purple were I her hair. She had a thick dreadlock with one of Anya's many rings wrapped around it. 

 

Elyza had her war paint on. Two thick black stripes went from her eyes to her temples. She wore a tight, olive green dress, though dress might have been a stretch. It was a few different pieces of fabric pinned together, clamped in the back.  A thick, dark green piece of ribbon was tied around her waist, holding the fabric close to her body, accentuating her curves. 

 

Alicia could have passed out even if she didn't have this dream thing. 

 

She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. 

 

Elyza moved closer to Alicia. 

 

She was so dizzy, she knew another memory was being triggered, but she doubted she would've reacted differently if it hadn't. 

 

She felt tears fill her eyes. Elyza looked worried. She was leaning heavily into Anya now. 

 

“You're so beautiful,” she whispered as darkness surrounded her. 

  
  


_ She was standing in a room dimly lit by candles. At the end of the room was a door. People, the clans representatives,  lined the edges of the room, leaving a path down the middle. A woman is singing.  _

 

_ Two large men open the door, and Clarke walks in, dressed almost exactly the same as Elyza was. She felt like she was going to pass out. She was breathtaking.  _

 

_ Clarke along the strip of carpet that lead to her throne, making eye contact the entire way.  _

 

_ Clarke stopped a foot away from the steps that lead to her throne and dropped to one knee, bowing her head. She looked down at her, feeling her breath catch in her chest.  _

 

_ It was interesting being merged with Lexa’s mind. She could feel Lexa having an internal struggle, trying to push certain  thoughts away. Lexa was thinking about how beautiful Clarke was, but she pushed the thought away, trying not to get attached.  _

 

_ Roan of Azgeda kneeled next. Everyone followed.  _

 

_ “Hail, warriors of the 12 clans,” She began. _

 

_ “Hail, Commander of the Blood,” They all responded in unision.  _

 

_ “Rise,” She commanded.  _

 

_ Clarke rose, holding steady eye contact before moving to stand with her people.  _

 

_ “We welcome Skaikru to our halls in the spirit of friendship and harmony, and we welcome Clarke kom Skaikru... Legendary Wanheda, Mountain Slayer. The reason for this summit has changed. We are not here to negotiate a treaty with the Skaikru, but rather to initiate them into the coalition.” _

 

_ The delegates murmured. _

 

_ “To symbolize this union, the leader of Skaikru must bear our mark.The honor should be yours.”  _

 

_ Kane and Abby whispered a few words to each other before Kane nodded at her.  _

 

_ She nodded back.  _

 

_ “Present your arm,” She said.  _

 

_ A man took a branding iron out the the coals, it was glowing red. Kane hesitated, but rolled up his sleeve.  _

 

_ The man pressed it into his skin, and he stayed surprisingly quiet.  _

 

_ She didn't have much time to dwell on it as the doors were flung open.  _

 

_ Bellamy, Octavia, and a few others stormed it, guns pointed at her.  _

 

_ “Bellamy?” Clarke asked. He was holding a man at gunpoint.  _

 

_ “What is the meaning of this?” Tirus asked. _

 

_ “The summit's a trap.” Bellamy threw the man down. “We need to get you out of here.” he said to Clarke.  _

 

_ “What the hell is going on?” Clarke asked her.  _

 

_ “I don't know,” She replied harshly.  _

 

_ “It's the Ice Nation,” Bellamy answered.  _

 

_ “These allegations are an outrage.” A man, Ivon, began. “The Ice Nation never stormed this summit with weapons, breaking our laws. That was the Skaikru,” _

 

_ “We're right about this. The two guards you left behind are dead already. We need to go now.” Pike said.  _

 

_ “How did you come by this information?” She demanded.  _

 

_ They all looked around. “Where the hell is Echo?” Octavia asked.  _

 

_ They seemed frozen.  _

 

_ “What's going on,” Bellamy asked. “Where the hell is she?”  _

 

_ “Bellamy, maybe we were wrong about this,” Octavia replied nervously.  _

 

_ “I don't understand.” He muttered.  _

 

_ Kane stepped forward, grabbing his gun. “Stand down.” _

 

_ Bellamy released the weapon.  _

 

_ “Bellamy,” Raven said through the radio attached to Bellamy’s chest.  “Bellamy, come in. The Grounders attacked Mount Weather.” _

 

_ “What are you talking about?” He asked into the microphone.  _

 

_ “It's gone.” She whispered.  “It's gone. They're all gone. Sinclair and I are the only ones left. I'm so sorry.“  She could hear her crying. “I'm so sorry.” She sobbed. _

 

_ “You should have never moved your people back into Mount Weather.” Ivon said, stepping in front of Bellamy.  “The Ice Nation did what Lexa was too weak to do.” _

 

_ “This is an act of war.” She stepped off her platform, absolutely seething.  “Sentries, arrest the Ice Nation delegation, including the prince.” She yelled. _

 

_ “We need to get home.” Abby said.  “If they attacked Mount Weather, Arkadia could be next.” _

 

_ “I agree.” Kane said.  _

 

_ “Go. Marshal your forces. We'll avenge the attack together.” She told them. _

 

_ “I'll escort them.”  Indra said. She turned to Octavia. “I hope you kept up your training. You'll need it.” _

 

_ “Clarke, we need to leave now.” Bellamy said, stepping near her.  _

 

_ “ We need an ambassador from the 13th Clan to stay here in Polis.” She replied. Clarke was silent.  _

 

_ “It's not safe here.” Bellamy argued. _

 

_ “Clarke will be safe here under my protection.” _

 

_ Clarke went up to her mother.  “I have to stay.” _

 

_ “Clarke…” Her mother begins.  _

 

_ Clarke whispers something she can't hear.  _

 

_ “Commander,” Titus says.  “We must convene the war council immediately.” _

 

_ She looked at Clarke expectantly.   _

 

_ “I'll be right there.” Clarke says. She hugs Abby. _

 

_ Bellamy says a few words to Clarke that she can't hear. He glares at her, then leaves.  _

 

_ Clarke takes a breath, then turns to her and nods.  _

 

_ She nods back.  _

 

_ She blinks and everyone is gone, the room is dark, save a few candles.  _

 

_ She walking Titus to the door. “Let me know as soon as the scouts come back.” _

 

_ “I hope you know what you're doing.” He says, leaving. _

 

_ The guards the the door behind him. She’s alone now. _

 

_ “I keep asking myself,” Clarke begins from behind her. Or not. She turns. "how did the Grounders know there was a self-destruct mechanism inside Mount Weather?"  _

 

_ “We'll get the answer soon, Clarke.” She walked over to her.  “Thank you for staying.” _

 

_ “I stayed because it was the right thing for my people.” _

 

_ “Our people.” She corrected her.  _

 

_ Clarke takes a step toward her. “If you betray me again-” _

 

_ “I won't.” She interrupts.  _

 

_ Clarke doesn't look convinced.  _

 

_ She takes a deep breath and drops to her knees in front of Clarke.  “I swear a fealty to you, Clarke kom Skaikru.” _

 

_ Clarke's expression softens.  _

 

_ “I vow to treat your needs as my own and your people as my people.” _

 

_ Clarke held out her hand without hesitation. She took it, and Clarke pulled her up.  _

 

_ She didn't let go.  _

  
  


Alicia woke with a gasp. 

 

“It's okay, you're safe,” Elyza said, quickly moving to sit next to Alicia on the couch. Her hand landed on Alicia's thigh. 

 

Alicia looked around frantically. There were candles everywhere and the house looked different.

 

Then again, maybe it didn't. Alicia didn't exactly memorize the layout of the house. 

 

“Have these candles always been here?” She asked warily. 

 

“It's your room, Lexa. I assumed you put them there,” 

 

Alicia jumped back. “Lexa?” 

 

“That's your name isn't it?” The girl next to her asked. 

 

Alicia felt the panic bubble in her chest. Was everything a dream? Was she never actually reincarnated? 

 

She stood up. “What's your name?” She asked. 

 

The blonde looked at her funny. “Clarke…”  she said. “Lexa what's going on?” 

 

“Is this a dream?” She asked, running her hands over her arms. She _felt_ real. 

 

“No, you just came out of a dream, Lexa.” Clarke said looking worried. She stood up too. 

 

“No I don't understand,” She said shaking her head. 

 

She went to a pillar of candles and stuck her fingers in the fire. She could feel the flames licking her fingers, but it didn't hurt. It wasn't even hot. 

 

“Lexa stop, you're hurting yourself,” Clarke exclaimed, running over and pulling her hand out of the fire. Clarke's hand on her wrist made her freeze. (Almost literally). It felt like Clarke was turning her blood to ice. She could feel her heartbeat slowing, even though she was still panicking. 

 

Her heart slowed even more and she got a feeling that was similar to when you get up too fast and your vision goes dark. 

 

She crumpled to the ground, Clarke leaning over her. She felt Clarke holding her face, running her thumbs across her cheeks as she blacked out. 

  
  


Alicia woke with a start, shooting up. She was laying across the couch in Rob’s house, Elyza sitting at the edge by her hip. 

 

“What happened?” Anya asked frantically. 

 

Thick, hot tears were flowing down her cheeks. She pulled her knees up to her chest. Elyza wrapped an arm around her. 

 

“I saw Clarke, and she became the ambassador-” she was talking quickly, stumbling over her words, not caring if Elyza heard. 

 

“S-she was the ambassador and after I got down on my knees-” a sob rippled through her chest, cutting her off. She was practically hyperventilating. 

 

“I s-swore f-f-fealty to her and when I passed out again,” she cries loudly into her hands. She took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. 

 

“I woke up in my room in Polis. Clarke was there. I had full control.” She fell apart again. “I thought _all this_ was a dream. I thought I was still with her in Polis. God, I miss her so much.” 

 

Everyone was quiet for a moment aside from Alicia's crying. 

 

She began crying harder again, hugging her knees tighter. It was hard to make out what she was saying, as she was properly hyperventilating now. It sounded something like “I love her so much,” and “What am I gonna do?”  

 

Elyza held her as she cried, but Anya was at a complete loss. 

 

Alicia cried herself to sleep in Elyza's arms. 

 

“What did you do?” Elyza whisper-yelled to Anya. 

 

Anya shrugged, shaking her head. 

 

“I need to know what's going on, I can't be out of the loop anymore.” Elyza argued. 

 

“It's not my secret to tell,” Anya said. 

 

Elyza sighed. 

 

“You should take that stuff off,” Anya told her. 

 

“What if she wakes up and thinks I'm someone else?” 

 

Anya didn't know what to do. “Take the stuff off. I'll wake her up and make sure she's okay.” She decided. 

 

Elyza nodded, slipping out of Alicia's grasp. Alicia shifted, but otherwise was still asleep. 

  
  


~*~

 

When Alicia woke again, Anya was standing over her. She rubbed her eyes. 

 

“Why did that happen?” Alicia asked. 

 

“If you're asking me if it's because we triggered it, I don't think that's the case.” Anya began. 

 

Elyza was sitting on the other couch, back in her old clothes, her hair down and extra wavy. 

 

“It's been triggered before and this has never happened. I think it might just have been because of the specific scene.”

 

“Speaking of,” Alicia began. “How do you know what happened after you died?” 

 

Anya was afraid she would ask that. “After a lot of practice, I could put myself into the blacked out state and watch over over you.”

 

Alicia nodded slowly. 

 

Anya could practically see the lightbulb go off in Alicia's head. 

 

“Does that mean I could watch over Clarke?” She asked excitedly. 

 

Anya sighed. “Not yet. Once you can put yourself into unconsciousness and take yourself back out. But until then…” Anya trailed off. “We can try though.”

 

Alicia nodded, understanding. 

 

“I was wondering if you would let me trigger something else for you today, too.” Anya began. 

 

“After what just happened?” Elyza said, almost angrily. 

 

“We need to know if that was a one time thing, and I have an idea.” Anya said, looking between Alicia and Elyza. 

 

“I'll do it,” Alicia said. 

 

Elyza just shook her head. 

 

“I want you to try to put yourself into it.” Anya said. “Lay down.”

 

Alicia did as she was told. 

 

“Close your eyes.”

 

Her eyes fluttered shut. 

 

“I want you to focus on the memory of when you were in that room.”

 

Anya's voice sounded velvety. She could feel the words wrapping around her mind. 

 

“Just concentrate,” Anya whispered. Her voice sounded like it was in a tunnel. 

 

Alicia focused on the feeling of the couch in Polis. She focused on the smell. It was piney, and smelled of vanilla. 

 

She focused on Clarke. The sweet, musky scent of her. She focused on the way the candles warmed her face. 

 

She focused on the sound. The sound of a soft scraping sound. The sound of someone walking by her door every few minutes. 

 

She jolted, like you do right before you fall asleep, like when you think you jumped off a building in a dream and hit the ground. 

 

Instead of falling asleep, the jolt woke her. 

 

Her eyes snapped open and she sprang up. 

 

She was in Polis, her room. 

 

Clarke was next to her in an instant. “Hey, hey, it's ok. You're ok. What were you dreaming about?” Clarke's hand on her thigh. 

 

She felt more self aware. There were words in her head, prompting herself on what to say, but it wasn't forced. 

 

Clarke looked at her expectantly. 

 

Her mind prompted her to say ‘Commanders before me. They speak to me in my sleep’, but she decided to try and say something else. 

 

“Clarke?” She asked. 

 

Clarke looked like she didn't expect that to come out of her mouth. 

 

She paused. Maybe she should follow the prompts. She wondered if she could somehow fuck up the timeline if she didn't. 

 

She looked down at her hands, and stood. She spun around.

 

Clarke looked at her confused. 

 

Alicia noticed that the memory seemed to be reset each time she came. Maybe she could talk to Clarke. 

 

It couldn't hurt right?

 

“Clarke.”

 

“You alright?” Clarke asked. 

 

She nodded, tears filling her eyes. “I just missed you is all,” she whispered. 

 

“I'm right here, Lexa.” 

 

Hearing her name makes a tear fall. 

 

Clarke stood up. “Hey,” she whispered, wiping away the tear. 

 

“I have to tell you something,” she said. 

 

Clarke tensed. “Are you sure now’s the time?”

 

Clarke thought Lexa was going to tell her she loved her. 

 

She nodded. “I don't think you're going to believe me.” She said. 

 

That caught Clarke off guard. “You can tell me anything,” she said. 

 

She goes through telling Clarke the most compressed story of how she got here. 

 

Clarke nodded once. “And I won't remember this happened?” She asked. 

 

“No,” Alicia said shaking her head. 

 

Clarke paused and thought for a moment, before walking forward and taking Lexa's face in her hands. Clarke pressed a soft kiss to her lips. 

 

She couldn't keep losing her. She pulled away and pressed her forehead to Clarke's. 

 

“May we meet again, my love,” she whispered, shutting her eyes and willing herself into reality. 

  
  


~*~

 

Alicia woke up significantly less shaken than before, but still shaken none the less. 

 

She woke with tears in her eyes and an ache in her chest. 

 

Elyza was right next to her when she woke up. She put an arm around Alicia and planted a soft kiss to her head. 

 

“What happened?” Anya asked. “You were only out 15 minutes.” 

 

“I went into the memory and I had totally control of my body. I knew what to say but I didn't  _ have _ to say it like usual.”

 

“So you just did whatever?” Anya asked. 

 

Alicia nodded. “Clarke was there. I told her about this world.”

 

Anya looked worried. “I don't know if that was a great idea.”

 

“She didn't remember me waking up and freaking out, so I think it like, resets or something.”

 

Anya's shoulders relaxed. “We you self aware when you swore fealty to Clarke?”

 

“Not anymore than usual.”

 

Anya thought for a moment. “All I can think is that because you knew we were triggering it, you woke up with Clarke.”

 

That didn't make sense. This was all very complicated and made Alicia's head hurt. 

 

“I think I understand.” Alicia said anyways.

 

“Good, because I don't.” Elyza replied. 

 

Alicia sighed. She felt bad that she couldn't explain the whole thing to Elyza, but it would be too weird. 

 

What would she say? ‘You're the reincarnation of the love of my life. I've known you for a week and I'm already in lo-  and I already really like you!’

 

That didn't seem like a _great_ idea. Especially because Lindsi said that Elyza doesn't like commitment. If Elyza wanted to be more, wouldn't she say something?

 

-

 

Elyza was going crazy. She was convinced that Alicia was going to end her. 

 

She really cared about Alicia. If they were still in high school and the world was normal, Elyza could see herself dating Alicia. Even maybe be her girlfriend. 

 

But this is so different. Alicia was younger than her, and Elyza was pretty sure Alicia still identified as straight (even though Alicia acted about as straight as a spring). 

 

It wasn't her place to push Alicia about her sexuality. 

 

She would've taken the next step with Alicia. She really would, but with all the shit Alicia's going through with the dreams and  _ Clarke… _

 

Hell, Elyza wasn't even sure Alicia wanted to take a next step. Maybe they were doomed to be make out buddies forever. 

 

-

 

Everyone had filtered back into the living room. Lindsi was sat between Anya and Marie again, looking overwhelmed. 

 

Rob was talking to Ofelia and Chris, but kept glancing at Elyza. 

 

“How long has Rob liked you?” Alicia whispered to Elyza. 

 

Elyza snorted. “All his life. It's funny because he thinks no one notices that he likes me and you picked up on it in like two seconds.”

 

Alicia laughed too. “Is he even trying to be subtle?” 

 

Elyza shook her head. “I don't even know anymore.”

 

He looked at them again and Alicia had to stifle her laughter. 

 

“Does he know you're gay?” 

 

“I mean, probably not.” Elyza began. “I've never explicitly told him, and he's not very observant. I've mentioned girlfriends before, but he probably just thinks I'm addressing friends.”

 

“Were you ever gonna tell him?” Alicia asked. “So he stops trying?”

 

Elyza shrugged. “I thought he would've stopped trying by now. I'll let him figure it out.”

 

He looked at them again. 

 

“I'm practically in your lap. Is this what he thinks  _ friends _ do?” 

 

Elyza laughed. 

 

“And how long has Marie liked Lindsi?” Alicia asked. 

 

“Damn, Alicia, you're really good at reading people.”

 

“I can't read you very well,” Alicia admitted. 

 

Elyza smirked. “Good. Keeps you on your toes.” She pressed a quick kiss to the corner of Alicia's mouth. 

 

Alicia blushed, looking around to make sure no one saw. She has had a long day and doesn't want to deal with her friends making fun of her. 

 

“But to answer your question,” Elyza began, gaining her attention again. “After her accident at age 15, Lindsi was there for her,” Elyza said. 

 

“What happened?” Alicia asked quietly. 

 

Elyza tensed. “When she turned 15, she got a butterfly knife. I was 17 and was also into knives. I was showing her how to use it, but since it was new, it didn't have very good motion. I greased the knife. It was a really freak accident. I was flipping the knife and she slipped, falling forward. In an attempt to catch her, I let go of the knife and ended up cutting her.” Elyza grimaced. “Their dad wouldn't let me over for a while after that, and Lindsi was there for her.”

 

Elyza paused. “She's really self conscious about the scar,” she said. 

 

“And you blame yourself.” It wasn't a question. 

 

Elyza nodded. 

 

“You said yourself that it was a freak accident.”

 

“I know,” Elyza said. “I still feel awful about it.”

 

Alicia nodded. 

 

They say in silence for a few minutes, listening to the other conversations. 

 

Rob looked over at them about 3 more times within 5 minutes. 

 

“This is ridiculous,” Elyza complained the fourth time he looked at them. 

 

Elyza, making sure Rob was still watching, kissed Alicia  _ hard _ . Nothing innocent about it. 

 

Elyza's hand lands on her jaw, rubbing her thumb across it. Alicia gripping Elyza's neck with one hand, the other on the blondes hip. 

 

The kiss was rough and doing nothing to stop the heat beginning to pool in Alicia's stomach. 

 

She whimpers a little as Elyza scrapes her blunt nails down the column of Alicia's neck. 

 

Elyza pulled away with a soft gasp, staring into her eyes. Rob was the last thing on either of their minds. 

 

Lindsi threw another pillow at them. “Elyza, you useless lesbian,” she complained. 

 

Everyone laughed. 

 

"Do you guys wanna go night swimming?" Marie asked out of nowhere. 

  
  
"I do!" Lindsi exclaimed. 

  
  
The sun had just begun setting. 

  
  
"It's best that we go now, while it's quiet," Rob added. "There weren't any infected out there when we got the lumber."

  
  
"We don't have bathing suits or anything," Anya said. 

  
  
"You don't  _ need _ them," Lindsi said, wiggling her eyebrows. 

  
  
"I have extra," Marie said. "How many of you need them?" 

  
  
"All of us," Elyza said. 

  
  
"I have 3 extra." Marie began. "Can two of you just go in your underwear?"

  
  
"I can," Lindsi said. 

  
  
"Me too." Elyza replied. 

  
  
"Alright, sweet." Marie said, going up to her room. 

 

"You guys need bathing suits?" Rob asked. 

  
  
Chris looked between them. "I think we're gonna stay back." He said. 

  
  
They nodded. 

 

  
  
"I'll stay too." Rob decided. "Anyone want a beer?"   
  
-   
  
The boys ended up making a bonfire in the pit near the lake. They thought it would be a better idea to stay together in case any infected were in the area. 

  
  
Marie was a lot smaller than Alicia. Alicia had an athletic build, while Marie had a petite one. 

  
  
Marie had given her a string bikini that barely covered her chest. The bottoms were okay, but she still felt like it could fall off at any second. 

  
  
Elyza, who opted to wear her underwear, forgot that she was wearing a thong. 

  
  
It was going to be a long night.    
  


-

  
Lindsi was the last one to dive in, her bra almost falling off in the process. 

  
  
She adjusted her top. "We should've just went skinny dipping," Lindsi complained. 

  
  
"We still can," Anya said. "It's dark now." 

  
  
Lindsi hesitated, looking to the fire pit. The boys were far enough away that it wouldn't be an issue. 

  
  
The sound of Chris's guitar was floating through the air. 

  
  
"Whatever," Lindsi said, unclasping her bra. "Fuck it,"

  
  
She threw her soaked clothes into the dock. 

 

The other girls just looked at her. 

  
  
"Oh come on," she complained. "What are you afraid of?"

  
  
That was a good question. 

  
  
Anya and Marie shed their bathing suits as well. 

  
  
Ofelia rolled her eyes, but followed suit. 

  
  
"What about you?" Alicia asked quietly. 

  
  
Elyza swam closer to her, wrapping her arms around her neck. "This feels familiar." She smirked. 

  
  
Alicia traced Elyza's infinity tattoo. 

  
  
_ The sacred symbol. _

__  
  
"Can I take this off?" Elyza asked, slipping her finger under the thin strap holding Alicia's bikini up. 

  
  
Alicia nodded. "It barely covers anything anyways." 

  
  
Elyza's eyes slowly raked over her body. "I've noticed." She smirked. "You're beautiful," she whispered. 

  
  
Alicia blushed, her head dropping a bit. "Thank you," she smiled. She may not always believe the compliments, but she has gotten better at taking them. 

  
  
Elyza kissed her cheek and slowly pulled the top string of her bikini. It reminded her of something. 

  
  
It felt like slow motion. Elyza was slowly pulling her straps down. Everything began to get very bright, like the sun was setting again. She couldn't feel the water anymore. Elyza's hair started to dry before her eyes. She could smell the pine, vanilla scent of her room in Polis. 

  
  
_ Not now _ , Alicia thought. 

  
  
She clenched her eyes shut, forcing herself back into reality. 

  
  
"You okay?" Elyza asked, her hands resting on her shoulders, still holding the ties. 

  
  
"Yeah," she whispered, opening her eyes. "I felt myself slipping away again." 

 

Elyza looked at her, worried. 

  
  
"I'm okay, I promise." She reassured her, shrugging her shoulders, signaling Elyza to continue. 

  
  
The water came up to their collarbones. 

  
  
Elyza let the straps fall, and untied the other knot, freeing her from her top. She tossed it on the dock. 

  
  
Elyza reached around to remove her bra, but Alicia stopped her. 

  
  
"Let me," she explained. 

  
  
Elyza nodded. 

  
  
Alicia set one hand on Elyza's hip, the other ran up her back, unclasping her bra in one swift twist. 

  
  
Elyza gasped as the bra slipped forward. "No one's ever undone my bra that quickly before," 

  
  
Alicia blushed but laughed. "A couple years ago my friends and I would go around unclasping each other's bras at inconvenient times." 

  
  
Elyza threw her bra on the dock. "And there I was thinking that you were so good at it because of all the girls you got," Elyza teased. 

  
  
"I haven't got  _ any _ girls, Elyza," she laughed. 

  
  
Elyza tossed her panties on the dock as well, Alicia following suit.  

  
"You've got me," she whispered. 

  
  
-   
  
Alicia isn't exactly sure how they got here. 

  
  
Her and Elyza were on the other side of the dock, and she could barely breathe. 

  
  
Elyza had an arm wrapped around her waist and was holding her tight against her. The other hand was resting on the dock behind Alicia, keeping them steady. Alicia's arms were slung around Elyza's neck, her fingers tangled in her hair. She scraped her nails against Elyza's scalp lightly, eliciting a soft gasp from the girl.  Alicia licked into her mouth. Elyza's tongue slid against hers. Elyza’s tongue piercing knocked against her teeth.

  
  
Elyza's hand slipped down to rest on her lower back. Then even a little lower. 

  
  
Alicia's hand traveled from the back of Elyza's neck down to rest over her heart. It was beating fast. 

  
  
Alicia pressed a kiss to the corner of Elyza's mouth, then moved lower. She kissed down her jaw, stopping to suck where she could feel her heart beating. Elyza let out a low moan, trying to stay quiet.    
  


She pushed Alicia off of her lightly. 

 

“Is everything okay?” Alicia asked. 

 

Elyza was breathing hard, her cheeks pink. “Alicia, if you keep kissing me like that…” She bit her lower lip. It was swollen. “I won't want to stop,”

 

Alicia grinned at her. “Good,” she said, kissing her again. She sucked Elyza's lower lip into her mouth, biting down on it. Elyza gasped again. 

 

Elyza pulled her against her again, their naked bodies pressed together. Elyza's hands slid down to grab Alicia's ass and squeezed it. Alicia yelped, not expecting that. 

 

She could feel Elyza smirking against her lips. 

 

Alicia cupped one of Elyza's breasts, her thumb rubbing over the nipple in retaliation. Elyza moaned into her mouth. “Not fair,” she complained, pulling back to catch her breath. 

 

Their foreheads were pressed together. “All’s fair in love and war,” Alicia said. 

 

She could feel Elyza's heartbeat pickup.

 

Elyza kissed her again, lips immediately moving to her jaw. She sucked dark marks into her skin. Alicia let out a shaky breath. She kissed down her neck, across the top of her collarbones. 

 

“Here,” Elyza muttered. She grabbed the backs of Alicia's thighs. “Jump,” she commanded. 

 

Alicia jumped up and wrapped her legs around Elyza's waist, her heat pressed to her lower stomach. She wrapped her arms around Elyza's neck. 

 

Elyza held Alicia tightly around the waist, holding her up. Alicia's chest was almost lined up to Elyza's face in this position. Elyza kissed down her chest, down the valley between her breasts. “You sure about this?” Elyza asked, making sure. 

 

“I'm positive, don't stop,” she whispered. 

 

Elyza nodded. She sucked one of Alicia's nipples into her mouth, her tongue swirling around the sensitive nub. Alicia's head fell back and she let out a breathy moan. The piercing across her skin was a whole new sensation. 

 

“Hey Elyza, Alicia?” Ofelia called. 

 

Elyza let go of Alicia and took a step back, causing her to slip underwater. 

 

Ofelia came around the corner of the dock right as Alicia popped out of the water. 

 

She glared at Elyza, but her expression softened when she saw Ofelia. 

 

“O! Hey,” Alicia said out of breath. 

 

Alicia knew that Ofelia didn't see anything, but the marks on her neck were enough of a give away. 

 

Ofelia gave them a strange look. “You have been gone for a while. We started getting worried.” She said slowly. “We're going in soon, thought I'd let you know.”

 

-

 

By going in soon, Ofelia apparently meant sitting by the fire, soaking wet. But at least Chris had his guitar. 

 

Chris started playing some chords, and Marie and Alicia were making a beat by hitting one of those box instruments that you sit on. Cajon drum boxes she thinks they're called.

 

“Do you remember the freshman year camping trip?” Chris asked Elyza. 

 

Her face lit up as she nodded. 

 

“Ready for a round two?” He asked. 

 

Elyza waited for a moment to jump in, and Chris played through the chords a few times. 

 

“Don't stop this beat,” Marie whispered to Alicia. Alicia nodded. 

 

“ _ She's got class and style, street knowledge by the pound, baby never act wild, very low key on the profile, _ ”

 

Alicia recognized the song immediately. (Obviously). 

 

Rob and Lindsi were singing along quietly, trying not to take attention away from Elyza's voice. 

 

“ _ Catching feelings is a no, let me tell you how it goes, herb’s the word, spin’s the verb, lovers it curves so freak what you heard,” _

 

Alicia was hypnotized by this girl. 

 

Rob was singing full back up now. Even harmonizing. 

 

“ _I like the way you work it, no diggity, I got to bag it up. I like the way you work it, no diggity_ _I gotta bag it up,_ ”

 

“ _ Bag it up now _ ,” Rob sang. 

 

“ _I like the way you work it, no diggity, I got some bag it up. I like the way you work it, no diggity_ _I gotta back it up,_ ”

 

Everyone was singing now. 

 

“ _ Ay oh, ay oh, ay oh, ay ooh, _ ”

 

_ “Daaamn that girl looks good!”  _ Chris sang. 

 

_ “Ay oh, ay oh, ay oh, ay ooh,” _

 

_ “Daaamn that girl looks goooood!”  _

 

_ “Play on, play on, play on, playette,” _

 

_ “Daaamn that girl looks good!” _

 

_ “Play on, play on, play on, playette yeaheayeah,” _

 

Everyone cheered as Elyza finished the song. 

 

Chris began playing the opening chords of ‘Don't stop believing,’ by Journey. 

 

“Throwback jams anyone?” He asked. 

 

“ _ Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world,”  _ he began, signaling them to sing along. “ _ She took the midnight train, goin anywhere! _ ”

 

“ _ Strangers waiting up and down the boulevard,”  _  They belted out together. 

 

Alicia thought she saw something out of the corner of her eye, but she ignored it. 

 

_ “Their shadows searching in the night!” _

 

Alicia didn't have time to react as a biter lunged out of the darkness, landing on Lindsi's shoulder. It bit into her neck and ripped away the flesh. 

 

Blood spurted across Anya's lap. 

 

Everyone was screaming. 

 

Anya ran to grab a weapon, but a walker tackled her to the ground. Alicia could see it tearing into her calf as she let out a blood curdling scream. 

 

Marie tried to shove the biter off Lindsi, her eyes hollow. It hit her jugular, she was dead in seconds. 

 

Marie almost had it off Lindsi when it grabbed at her stomach. It bit into the flesh, ripping the skin apart, disemboweling her. Her organs fell into Lindsi's lap. 

 

Rob was wailing, running to his sister. A few walkers mobbed him, but he didn't care. 

 

She looked for Ofelia. She had fallen over the fire, her legs black and charred as a walker chewed on her face. 

 

Two walkers were eating  Chris's stomach. 

 

Gustus was trying to help Anya. 

 

Elyza. 

 

She looked around frantically for Elyza. She didn't see her anywhere. She whipped around to see Elyza right in front of her. 

 

She had a nasty bite on her upper arm. Her eyes were cloudy and vacant. Elyza lunged forward pinning her to the ground. 

 

She was one of them. 

 

Alicia was sobbing, trying to kick Elyza off. She was hyperventilating, she couldn't get Elyza off. Elyza bit into her leg, ripping her femoral artery apart. 

 

There was so much blood. She could feel Elyza ripping her skin away, but she couldn't move, couldn't scream. 

 

She began to get tunnel vision. She could feel death’s icy fingers reaching for her soul.

 

She's dead.

  
  
  
  
  
  


~*~

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Alicia woke with a gasp. Her friends standing over her. She could feel the warmth of the fire by her thigh. 

 

“What's going on?” She asked, standing up too quickly. 

 

Elyza steadied her. “You okay? You passed out,” she said calmly. 

 

“No I'm not alright!” She cried. “I thought you all got eaten. There were infected everywhere, Lindsi got her jugular ripped out, and Marie got disemboweled and you,” she gripped Elyza's arms. “You were one of them. You killed me,” she sobbed. 

 

Elyza hugged her tightly, but pulled away quickly. “Look at me,” Elyza said. 

 

She focused on Elyza's face. 

 

It began distorting before her eyes. 

 

Her lips curled up into a wicked grin, her teeth sharp and jagged. 

 

She took a few steps back. 

 

Elyza's eyes grew, they went entirely white. 

 

Her head was snapping in different, unnatural directions. An awful crunching sound came when she did. 

 

Her shoulders were raised high, her shoulders looking pointed. 

 

She looked around for the others, but they weren't there. She turned around again and Elyza was right in her face. 

 

She turned around to run, and Elyza was there. The real Elyza. 

 

She turned around, the monster gone.  

 

She ran into Elyza's arms, still sobbing. 

 

Elyza shoved her away immediately. 

 

“I could  _ never _ love someone like  _ you _ ,” she spat.

 

**((Trigger warning, minor))**

 

“Freak,” someone behind her said, disgusted. She turned. It was another Elyza. 

 

Clarke appeared next to one of the Elyza's. 

 

“You were an awful commander. No wonder Titus killed you.” She said. 

 

“Please stop,” She begged. 

 

Another Clarke appeared on the other side of her. She was becoming surrounded. 

 

“I never loved you,” she said. “You should've seen your face when I kissed you,” she laughed. “There were  _ tears in your eyes _ . So pathetic,” she laughed again. 

 

She fell to her knees. “Please,” she yelled.

 

“Oh Clarke, join my coalition,” Clarke mocked. “Oh Clarke, don't leave, I  _ love _ you!” She was cackling. 

 

Another Elyza appeared. 

 

“When I saved you, I had no idea you'd be so high maintenance.” She rolled her eyes. “I should've left you to die,”

 

She didn't know what to do. She just sat there and took it. 

 

Another Elyza joined the circle. 

 

“You'll never be as beautiful as Lindsi or I,” she said, holding her head up high. “Or Deliah for that matter. She really knows how to fuck a girl right.”

 

“Please stop,” she tried again. 

 

“So pathetic,” Lindsi joined the circle. “We only keep you around to make ourselves look better. You're our Duff.”

 

Marie appeared, nodding. “Ugly slut,” she muttered.

 

She curled into a ball. 

 

Anya and Gustus joined. 

 

“You're such a basket case. We'll never be able to fix you,” Anya sighed. 

 

Gustus nodded. “I should've killed you when I had the chance,” he said in Trigedasleng. 

 

Ofelia joined. “ _ Me _ liking  _ you _ ? What a joke. I bet Matt didn't love you either. I’d ask him, but you put him in the ground.” She smirked. 

 

“Stop!” She screamed. 

 

“What?” Elyza yelled back, “Can't handle the truth?”

 

“This isn't you!”

 

“It's all the things I'll never say out loud,” Elyza began. “And you know it,” 

 

She did know it. 

 

“You don't deserve me.” Clarke spit. 

 

“I'm too good for you,” Elyza said. 

 

“No one even likes you,” Marie said. 

 

“We'd all be better off without you,” Anya said.

 

**((Trigger warning, major))**

 

She covered her ears but she could still hear everything. She didn't know what was real. 

 

“You're a waste of space,” Gustus said. 

 

“Kill yourself,” Lindsi spit. 

 

She covered her head with her arms, willing them to stop. 

 

They were yelling now, all of them. It was jumbled. 

 

“No one would miss you,”

 

“You were worthless in  _ both _ lives,”

 

“Coward,”

 

“You're so ugly!”

 

“Eyes too close together,” 

 

They were talking faster now, yelling. 

 

She didn't know what was real. 

 

A knife,  _ her knife _ landed in front of her. 

 

“End your miserable excuse for a life,” 

 

She picked up the knife. 

 

“Do it,” they chanted out of sync. 

 

She needed to know if this was real. 

 

She slid the blade across her hand. Hard. Black blood pooled in her palm. It poured from her hand onto the ground. They were laughing at her. 

 

It hurt, but she numb. She did it again on her left shoulder. It was covered with a thick coat of black blood within moments. 

 

It felt real. 

 

She was panicking. The cuts were deep and she was loosing a lot of blood. 

 

It was real?

 

She couldn't find it within herself to care. 

 

She was tired. 

 

“Finally,” Elyza exclaimed with a gasp. 

 

“We won't miss you!” Lindsi said, waving at her mockingly. 

 

She shut her eyes and waited for peace. 

  
  
  


It never came. 

  
**((Trigger warning, major, over))**  
  


 

_ She was freaking out. She needed to get out of here, back into reality.  _

 

_ She tried screaming, running, but her body wouldn't budge.  _

 

_ She standing in front of a door. She knocks three times.  _

  
  


_ She didn't want to be here, she needed to get out.  _

 

_ Clarke opened the door moments later. She was wearing a blue, flowy nightgown.  _

 

_ She could feel Lexa struggling to keep her eyes on Clarke’s face instead of raking over her body. Lexa looks at her with such ardor, it's calming. _

 

_ Clarke looked at her expectantly and she just nodded once. _

 

_ “Is this ‘I told you so’?” Clarke asked, still standing in the door.  _

 

_ “No,” She began quietly. “‘This is thank you’,”  _

 

_ Clarke's expression softened. “Come in,” she said, opening the door and moving to the side.  _

 

_ She walked through the door, but Clarke stopped her by taking her hand.  _

 

_ She looked at her bandaged wound. “Sit down, let me change that for you,” Clarke says, closing the door.  _

 

_ She walks across Clarke's room and sits on a chair and waits.  _

 

_ Clarke sits in front of her, a strip of thick fabric in her lap.  _

 

_ “That girl...” She takes her wounded hand. “...that was with Nia, Ontari, what will happen to her?” Clarke asks.  _

 

_ Clarke unwraps her hand.  _

 

_ “She won't be back until the conclave after my death,” She replies.  _

 

_ “Do you ever talk about anything other than your death?” She asks, a light smile across her lips.  _

 

_ She smiles back shyly.  _

 

_ Clarke rips a thin strip from the fabric and begins re-wrapping her hand.   _

 

_ “Thank you for backing me,” She tells Clarke.  _

 

_ “I was just doing what was right for my people,” She says, focusing on her work. She looks up, meeting her eyes briefly before looking away.  _

 

_ Clarke tucks the bandage into itself. She pulls her hand back.  _

 

_ “Your ambassadors betrayed you,” Clarke began. “How do you move forward?”  _

 

_ “They were doing what they believed was right for their people, too.” _

 

_ Clarke studied her eyes before taking a deep breath and looking away. She stood up.  _

 

_ “Reshop, Heda,” Clarke says.  _

 

_ She stands now, too. “Goodnight Ambassador.” She says quietly.  _

 

_ She doesn't wait for Clarke to respond, just heads for the door.  _

 

_ She can feel Clarke's eyes boring into her. She glances back at Clarke before leaving.  _

  
  
  


She felt herself wake up, but she didn't open her eyes. Not yet. 

 

“She's been out for a really long time,” she heard Elyza whisper. 

 

“It's been,” Lindsi paused. “Almost 20 hours. Can't we wake her?”

 

“Absolutely not,” Anya said. 

 

She felt a hand land softly on her knee and she jolted. Her eyes flew open. 

 

She was inside now, the sun low, shining through the window. 

 

She jumped off the couch and started backing up slowly. 

 

“Hey, you alright?” Elyza asked. 

 

She narrowed her eyes at her. 

 

“What did you see?” Lindsi asked. 

 

Elyza took a step towards her. 

 

“Get back,” Alicia snapped. 

 

Hurt flashed across Elyza's face. She ignored her. 

 

Alicia pulled a knife out of her pocket. It's wasn't  _ her _ knife, but it'll do. 

 

She opened it and pressed it to her palm. 

 

“Woah woah woah,” Elyza said, taking another step. 

 

“I said, get back!” Alicia yelled. 

 

“She doesn't know what's real,” Anya said in surprise. 

 

She cut across her palm, red blood spilling from the gash. She hissed in pain. 

 

She sighed. It was real. 

 

“Oh, Alicia,” Elyza whispered, her voice broken. 

 

She jumped, forgetting that she wasn't alone. She took another step back, hitting a wall. 

 

The whole group was staring at her. She didn't realize that they were all there. 

 

She took her top off and clenched it in her hand to stop the bleeding. She crossed her hands over her stomach, feeling insecure. 

 

Anya and Elyza looked at her expectantly. 

 

“I don't know what actually happened,” Alicia said after a moment. 

 

“Ask me and I'll tell you if it did,” Anya said cautiously. 

 

“We went night swimming,”

 

“Yes,” Anya replied. 

 

“We joined the guys at the bonfire,”

 

“Yeah,”

 

“Elyza sang No Diggity.”

 

“Yes,”

 

“Then we sang Don't Stop Believing,”

 

Anya shook her head. “No. You passed out as we began to play Hey Ho,”

 

Alicia nodded slowly. 

 

“What next?” Anya asked. 

 

“Lindsi got killed by a biter. Marie got disemboweled. Rob got mauled.” She clenched her eyes shut at the memory. “You got your leg torn off. Gustus died trying to help you, Anya. Ofelia fell in the fire, her legs were burnt.” She cringed. She remembers the smell. “It c-chewed her face off. Chris had his stomach ripped apart. Elyza,” a tear fell. 

 

“Elyza was one of them. She killed me.” She sobbed.

 

Everyone stood frozen. 

 

“Anything else?” Anya asked quietly. 

 

Alicia nodded. She took a deep breath to compose herself. “After I thought I died, I woke up again and thought it was a dream. I ran to Elyza, but it wasn't really her. It was some kind of monster.” She paused.

 

“ I thought I saw the real Elyza again, so I ran to her again and she-”

 

She doesn't know if she should say this out loud. She looked down, not meeting anyone's eyes. “She pushed me off and said that she could never love someone like me,” her voice cracked. 

 

Elyza was crying now too. She has never seen her cry.

 

“Clarke was there, and a bunch of Elyza's. Lindsi was there, you and Gustus were there, Ofelia was there, and Marie was there. They-”

 

She took another deep breath. “They said awful things. Told me t-to-  Told me to k-kill myself.” She could feel everyone's eyes on her. She could feel the shame bubbling up inside her. 

 

“So I did,” she whispered, a few tears rolling off her cheeks onto the carpet. “I c-cut my hand and my arm,”

 

“Then I had a memory blackout where Clarke changed my bandages.” She looked up again. “And here I am.” She grimaced weakly through her tears. 

 

“Oh my god,” Elyza whispered. 

 

No one knew what to say.

 

**((Trigger warning, minor, over))**

 

Elyza took a tiny step toward her, testing the water. 

 

When she didn't say anything, Elyza came up to her slowly, and pulled her into the softest hug. It was like Elyza was afraid she was going to break. 

 

She could feel Elyza's tears hitting her shoulder. 

 

Alicia untucked her arms and hugged Elyza back, hearing her audibly sigh. 

 

Elyza didn't know where to begin. ‘ _ I could never love someone like you  _ ’ echoed in her head. 

 

“I need a drink,” she heard Lindsi mutter. 

 

“And you didn't leave anything out?” Anya asked at last. 

 

Elyza could feel Alicia tense. 

 

“That was everything,” she lied. 

 

Elyza pulled away and took her jacket off and draped it over Alicia's shoulders. 

 

The shirt she was holding was soaked with blood. 

 

“I need to see the cut,” Elyza said quietly, taking her hands in hers. 

 

She let Elyza take her hand. 

 

Elyza pulled the shirt away and studied it for a moment. 

 

It was deep, Alicia knew that. 

 

Elyza sighed, knowing how painful stitches would be on her palm without novocaine. “You don't _ need _ stitches, but without them it's going to leave a nasty scar.” Elyza decided. “Up to you,”

 

“I'll take the stitches,” Alicia replied. 

 

“I don't have novocain,” Elyza warned her. “You sure?”

 

Alicia figured as much. “I'm sure.” 

 

~*~

  
  


The stitches were so much more painful than Alicia had imagined. She ended up getting eight of them. 

 

Elyza did a wonderful job of keeping her calm though. She sang under her breath as she prepared the needle, and as she cleaned the wound. 

 

Elyza wrapped it in clean gauze. 

 

The adrenaline wore off quickly, leaving Alicia tired. 

 

Marie popped her head into the bathroom as Elyza was putting everything away. 

 

“You can have the guest bed since you're injured,” Marie told Alicia with a smile. “Elyza, you’ll have to fight for a couch.” 

 

“Thank you,” Alicia said. Marie smiled at her again, then left. 

 

She sat with Elyza in silence. She wanted to offer to share her bed with Elyza, but she felt timid around her now. 

 

She knew what Elyza said in her delusion wasn't real, but at the same time…

 

‘ _ “It's all the things I'll never say out loud, And you know it,” _ ’  

 

“I better go fight for one of those couches,” Elyza said, leaving the bathroom. 

  
  


~*~

 

Her guestroom bed felt cold and empty. It had been a while since she’s slept alone. 

 

She had been lying in bed for a few hours, sleep refusing to come to her. She was exhausted, but the words said to her in her delusion kept replaying in her head. 

 

She could smell cigarette smoke. 

 

Alicia kicked out of bed quietly, going to the door. She opened it quietly, and made her way to the living room. 

 

Elyza was laying across her couch, a cigarette hanging from her lips. A few cigarette butts were in the ashtray. 

 

“Hey,” Alicia whispered. 

 

Elyza didn't jump, just turned to her. She put out her cigarette and sat up. 

 

“Can't sleep?” Alicia asked. 

 

Elyza shook her head. “Not without you,” 

 

Alicia felt her heart swell. “Then come to bed with me,” She said simply. 

 

Elyza didn't need to be told twice. She got up and walked by Alicia, taking her hand and leading her back to her room. 

 

Alicia shut the door behind them and Elyza pulled her into a hug. 

 

“You okay?” She asked. 

 

Elyza shook her head. “You really scared me today,” She whispered into her hair. 

 

She brushed Elyza’s hair behind her ear and kissed her temple. “I'm sorry,” 

 

Elyza sighed. She pulled back, her arms around Alicia’s neck. “I really don't want to lose you,” She admitted. 

 

“I'll always be with you,” 

 

Elyza pressed their foreheads together. Her hand came up to clutch Alicia's jaw. She sucked her lower lip into her mouth, her tongue running over it. 

 

Alicia gripped Elyza’s waist, kissing her back. Harder.

 

Elyza deepened the kiss, her piercing pressing against the roof of Alicia’s mouth. 

 

Elyza’s tongue slid against hers and she tasted sweet and smokey, and like  _ Elyza.  _

 

Alicia's hand moved to the swell of Elyza’s ass, pulling their hips together. 

 

Elyza has to pull back and gasp for air. “Ofelia cockblocked us so hard earlier,” She whined.

 

“Good thing she’s upstairs sleeping.” Alicia chuckled, pressing kisses to the blonde’s neck.

 

“Do you wanna pick up where we left off?” Elyza asked. 

 

“Saving people, hunting things?” Alicia asked. 

 

Elyza squeezed her sides.  “Did you just quote _ Supernatural _ , you fucking nerd?” She laughed. 

 

“Maybe,” Alicia smirked. “My brother liked it,” 

 

“You ruined the moment,” Elyza teased. 

 

“I’ve got plenty of moments,” Alicia replied, kissing her again. 

 

Elyza walked her backwards to the bed. Her lips ghosted over Alicia’s. 

 

“You're not going to break me,” Alicia whispered against her mouth.

 

“I know,” Elyza said. 

 

“Then prove it.” Alicia challenged. 

 

Elyza’s expression darkened.  She shoved Alicia back on the bed. 

 

Alicia gasped. Elyza crawled onto the bed, hovering over her. 

 

She kissed Alicia hard. 

 

Alicia’s hands moved to grip her sides, but Elyza grabbed her wrists and pinned them above her head. She gasped. 

 

She kissed Alicia hard, sucking her lower lip into her mouth and biting on it hard. 

 

Elyza kissed down Alicia’s neck. Alicia tilted her head back, giving the blonde more room. 

 

She sucked dark marks into Alicia’s tan skin, smirking as she groaned. She shifted so she was holding both of Alicia’s wrists with one hand. Her other hand slid up the younger girl's stomach, pushing her shirt up. 

 

“This okay?” She asked. 

 

Alicia nodded frantically. She has never been more turned on in her life. 

 

Elyza released Alicia’s hands and pulled her shirt and bra off in one movement. Alicia gasped at the cold air. 

 

Elyza slipped one of her thighs between Alicia’s and went back to kissing her neck. Her hands roamed over her stomach and her sides. 

 

She kissed down her chest, across her collarbones, then lower, between the valley of her breasts. She sucked one of her nipples into her mouth, her hand coming to cup the other breast. She swirled her tongue around her nipple. Alicia arched into her touch, moaning. 

 

All Alicia wanted was to tangle her fingers in Elyza’s hair, but she kept still. 

 

Elyza began kissing lower, down her stomach, her tongue dipping into Alicia’s bellybutton. She shivered.

 

She tucked her hands into the band of Alicia’s jeans, pulling them down a little so she can kiss her hip bones lazily. 

 

“Can I take this off?” Elyza asked, tugging on her jeans. 

 

“Please,” Alicia whispered. 

 

Elyza undid the button on her jeans and slid them down her legs. _ God _ , her  _ legs _ . 

 

She tossed the discarded clothes to the ground. 

 

Elyza moved to hover over Alicia’s body again, leaning forward pressing her thigh against her. She moaned, but Elyza stifles it with her lips. She kisses her softly, her fingers running along her jaw. 

 

Alicia was grinding shamelessly against her thigh. Elyza was still fully clothed. 

 

Alicia carefully brought a hand to rest on Elyza’s hip. She let her. Alicia slid her hands over Elyza’s back, pulling her shirt over her head, breaking the kiss for a brief moment. She unclasped Elyza’s bra with a quick twist, like she liked it, smirking against her lips. Elyza shed her bra, letting Alicia run her hands across her chest. 

 

Alicia’s breathing was picking up, her nails scratching down Elyza’s spine. Her hand slipped between them, cupping Alicia’s heat. She groaned as Elyza ran her middle finger over her clit, through her panties. 

 

Elyza broke the kiss, repositioning so she was sitting between Alicia’s legs. It was dark, only the moonlight coming through the window, but she could tell Alicia was sodden. 

 

She hooked her thumbs under the band of her panties and pulled them down slowly. Alicia held her legs up, helping her, and she almost moaned when Alicia set them down, spreading them wide. “Shit,” Elyza mumbled. 

 

Elyza leaned down and left open mouth kisses from the inside of Alicia’s knee, up her thigh, closer to where the brunette wanted her most. Elyza’s eyes flicked up to Alicia. Her cheeks were burning pink, her lips agape. 

 

Elyza licked a broad stripe along Alicia’s center, smirking as the girl let out a moan. Alicia’s hands found her hair immediately, pulling on it. 

 

Elyza licked her clit, swirling her tongue on the sensitive nub. Alicia groaned, tugging Elyza’s hair again. Her tongue ran through her folds, dipping into her entrance. 

 

“Fuck, Elyza,” Alicia whimpered. 

 

Alicia was absolutely soaked. Elyza gathered her wetness on her tongue, plunging into her entrance. She licked inside her, her piercing pressing against her front wall. Alicia let out a high pitched whine, digging her nails into Elyza’s scalp.  

 

Alicia was breathing hard, her other hand fisting the sheets. “D-don't stop, I’m close,” She stuttered. 

 

Elyza continued licking into her, holding her thighs apart as she tried to clench them shut. Her nose nudged across Alicia’s clit, and pushed her over the edge. She worked Alicia through her orgasm, moaning as a new wave of wetness hit her tongue. 

 

Alicia’s hand left Elyza’s hair and she slumped back against her bed. Elyza wiped her mouth and collapsed next to Alicia, wrapping an arm around her waist. They laid in silence, waiting for Alicia’s breathing to return to normal. 

 

“Holy shit,” Alicia muttered. She felt Elyza grin into her shoulder. 

 

“Good?” Elyza asked. 

 

Alicia didn't answer, just rolled Elyza onto her back. She kissed her, tasting herself on Elyza’s lips. 

 

She unbuttoned Elyza’s pants, pulling her jeans and panties down together, not breaking the kiss. She cupped Elyza’s center, moaning at how wet she was. She ran her fingers through her folds, rubbing two fingers against her clit.

 

Elyza gasped into her mouth, arching her back. She found Alicia’s free hand and intertwined their fingers. Alicia moved to kiss her neck. Her fingers circled the blonde’s clit. She built a rhythm, two slow, firm circles, followed by two quicker ones. Elyza was moaning loudly, breathing hard into her skin. Alicia slipped two long fingers into Elyza, pressing upwards, making the girl see stars. 

 

“Alicia, oh my god,” She moaned. 

 

Alicia pressed the heel of her palm against her clit and she pumped into her. Elyza came with a sob, moaning Alicia’s name as she clutched her hand. 

 

Alicia withdrew her hand, wiping it subtly on the sheets, and looked backed up to Elyza. 

 

Elyza was breathing hard, tears rolling down her cheeks. 

 

She felt panic surge through her. “Elyza? Did I-, Are you-” 

 

Elyza smiled a watery smile, “No, you’re lovely,” She said. “I’m just overwhelmed. You’re so-” She paused, choosing the words. “I’m so lucky,” 

 

Alicia beamed at her, laying down with her, pulling her against her. “I’m the lucky one,” She whispered, drifting asleep. 

 

She fell asleep next to the girl she loved, and all was well.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was so sweet, I'm going to puke <3
> 
> Don't worry, It's not over. We've got 6 chapters to go!
> 
> I referenced like 4 shows in this chapter. Incredible. The thing with taking off the bras is a true thing that happened to me. It was incredibly annoying. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


	15. Why It's Called Heartbreak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 307 tw & drug use

When Alicia woke up the next morning, she could barely breathe. Now, this was for a few reasons. 

 

Reason number one being that Elyza was laying on top of her, cutting off her air flow. The other being that Elyza had one of her thighs wedged between Alicia's. 

 

This was like the woman's equivalent to waking up with a boner. 

 

She shifted her hips, trying to move the older girls thigh, but it only got worse. 

 

Elyza let out a breath, curing into Alicia even more, pushing into her harder. She groaned as Elyza slid her thigh across her center. 

 

Elyza opened one eye, peeking up at her. Alicia caught her gaze and blushed. 

 

“Elyza, your thigh,” she complained. 

 

Elyza smirked, nuzzling into her neck. “What's the problem?” She asked. 

 

“Your fucking-” 

 

Alicia was cut off by Elyza grinding down on her again. She gasped, her hand going to clutch at the back of Elyza's neck. 

 

Elyza kept rocking her hips, building up a rhythm. Alicia moaned at how wet Elyza was against her thigh. 

 

“You have to be quiet now that others are awake,” Elyza warned, pressing lazy kisses to her neck. 

 

“I hate you,” Alicia whimpered. 

 

“You - you don't, you don't hate me,” she whispered, canting her hips harder. 

 

Elyza kept rolling her hips, breathing hard into Alicia's shoulder. 

 

“Elyza,” Alicia warned, her voice quiet and broken. 

 

“Come for me baby,” Elyza whispered, capturing her lips in a soft kiss. 

 

They came undone together, holding each other, breathing each others name.  

 

They came down, Elyza pressing her forehead to Alicia’s. “I-” she began, but she was cut off as Lindsi barged through the door. 

 

Elyza jumped, pulling the sheet over their shoulders. 

 

“Good Morning, Motherfu- oh shit!” Lindsi exclaimed. “Fucking finally!”

 

Alicia was blushing a deep red and Elyza, rolling her eyes. 

 

“Marie!!” Lindsi yelled. “MARIE!” She screamed. 

 

“Are we really doing this?” Elyza asked. 

 

Lindsi ignored her. Marie shoved past Lindsi, gun in hand. “What? What's going- oh shit!” She clamped her eye shut. 

 

“What the fuck, Lindsi?” Marie yelled, swatting at the air near her, trying to hit her. 

 

Ofelia appeared too, sticking her head in, before turning pale and promptly leaving. 

 

Lindsi was laughing, hitting Marie's hand away. 

 

“Are you two done?” Elyza snapped. 

 

Marie peaked through her fingers. “I thought someone was hurt!” She said, finally managing to land a hit on Lindsi's arm. 

 

“Someone  _ is _ going to be hurt, if you don't leave!” Alicia hissed. 

 

Lindsi rolled her eyes fondly. “Whatever lovebirds, just wanted to tell you that a group went to the airfield to get the plane ready.” 

 

“I thought we couldn't go because of the rain,” Alicia said. 

 

Elyza rolled her eyes at them, having a conversation 3 minutes after they  _ finished _ . 

 

“I keep forgetting that you were unconscious for 20 hours,” Lindsi said. “It rained off and on yesterday, but it's clear now. Get showered and dressed because we have a mother to rescue!” Lindsi exclaimed. 

  
  


~*~

 

The car was repacked by the time Elyza and Alicia were done cleaning up. 

 

Marie got radioed by Rob, Chris, Anya, Gustus, and Dvon at the airfield saying they were ready for them. 

 

The mentioned airfield was only a few miles up the road. 

 

Elyza parked her bike near the runway, tucking her helmet away. 

 

Alicia knew Elyza was nervous about leaving her motorcycle, but there seemed to be something else. 

 

“You alright?” Alicia asked. 

 

The 10 person plane had been moved to the runway, ready to go. 

 

Elyza shrugged. “Just don't like flying.” She said. 

 

Chris came up behind them suddenly, grabbing the bike. “Dvon can help with that,” he said. 

 

Elyza wrinkled her nose. “Chris, I'm  _ so _ gay.” 

 

Chris stopped short. “That is  _ not _ what I meant,” 

 

Elyza's eyebrows shot up. “Oh,  _ oh _ . Yeah where is he?”

~*~

 

Alicia and Elyza found Dvon and Rob in the cockpit, setting up.

 

"Chris said you had something for me?" Elyza asked, entering the cockpit. 

  
  
Dvon looked at her, his eyebrows coming together. 

  
  
"I don't like flying."

  
  
"Oh!" Dvon exclaimed. "Sure," 

  
  
He searched his pockets, pulling out a medicine bottle. "I want the lighter back," he said, turning away to get the plane ready. 

  
In the medicine bottle was a single joint, and a lighter. 

  
  
"You better not be trying to fly my plane,  _ high _ ," Rob scowled. 

  
  
"Went through flight school high, took the tests, both of them, high, passed while I was high, graduated while I was high," he paused. "I think you should worry that I'm not high enough," he said.    
  
Rob rolled his eyes. "I'm just glad I'm in here with you,"

  
  
Elyza and Alicia left, going to sit on the grass on the other side of the runway. Near the trees.

 

  
"You said Rob throws parties right? Why is he against smoking?" Alicia asked. 

  
  
Elyza shrugged. "His sister smokes and he's really protective." 

  
  
Alicia nodded. 

  
  
Elyza pulled out the joint and lit it, inhaling deeply and holding it. She let it out in a thick stream of white smoke, much like a dragon. 

  
  
She took another hit, repeating the motions, this time holding it out towards Alicia. 

  
"You need it more than I do," Alicia replied. 

  
  
She examined the joint. It looked different from the one's she's seen on tv, or in the "Hugs not Drugs" pamphlets her school passed out. This joint had two thin streams of wax spiraled around it.    
  
"You sure?" Elyza asked once more. 

  
  
Alicia hesitated. 

  
  
Alicia took the joint and took a small breath. It burned her lungs and she gasped, accidentally inhaling a lot more. 

  
  
She shoved the joint back into Elyza's hand and began coughing violently. 

  
  
Panic washed over her face as she coughed harder, gagging. 

  
  
"Shit, you okay?" Elyza asked, rubbing her back. 

  
  
She nodded weakly, catching her breath. 

  
  
"You good?" Elyza asked again, putting out the joint and putting in back in the medicine bottle. 

  
  
"Water would be nice," she whispered, trying not to start coughing again. 

  
  
Elyza rummaged through her bag. "All I have is alcohol," she said, laughing. She began laughing harder. So hard, in fact, that she wasn't making any noise. 

  
  
Alicia was laughing too. Elyza clapped her hands together, trying to take a breath. 

  
  
"Can't... Fuck..ing... Breathe..." She managed to spit out between spurts of laughter. 

  
  
Alicia started coughing again. Both girls began laughing even harder.    


  
"Oh...felia...!" Elyza yelled, falling onto her back, laughing. "It..hurts.." She said, clutching her stomach. 

  
  
Ofelia ran over, dropping to her knees on the grass. "Are you okay?" The question made Elyza start laughing again.  

  
  
"I'm... So... Sorry...!" Elyza giggled.

  
  
"Water," Alicia rasped out, her laughing under control. 

  
  
Ofelia took out a water bottle and handed it to her. "What happened?" She asked as Alicia sucked back the liquid. 

  
  
Elyza took a few deep breath, taking the medicine bottle back out, handing it to Ofelia. 

  
  
"I see," she said. 

  
  
"You wanna join us?" Elyza asked, taking the joint out again. 

  
  
Ofelia sat back. "Sure," she smiled.

  
  
Elyza lit the joint again, taking another hit before passing it to Ofelia. 

  
  
Ofelia took it, taking a fairly large breath.

  
  
If Ofelia had never smoked before, Elyza couldn't tell. She mimicked Elyza, holding it in, and letting it out slow. She held it out to Alicia. 

  
  
Alicia was laying back in the grass, her mouth slightly agape. 

  
  
"She's done," Elyza said, but Alicia shot up. 

  
  
"One more." She argued, taking the joint and inhaling before anyone could object.    
  


Alicia coughed again, not as hard. 

 

“You've never smoked before,” Ofelia stated. 

 

They waited for Ofelia to continue, but she didn't. 

 

Alicia flopped back into the grass, her head landing with a soft thud. 

 

Ofelia and Elyza finished the joint. 

 

“Elyza, what's that?” Ofelia asked, looking into the woods behind her. Elyza twisted around, looking into the woods. 

 

“What?” Elyza asked. 

 

Alicia sat up. 

 

“Right there,” Ofelia pointed. Alicia only saw trees. 

 

“That's just a tree, mate,” Elyza said, although she couldn't really see what the other girl was pointing at. 

 

“No, it's  _ moving _ ,” Ofelia insisted. 

 

“There's nothing there,” Alicia said. 

 

Ofelia stood up, squinting her eyes. She pulled out her gun and trained it on something in the woods. 

 

“Woah,” Elyza said, standing up. “You should  _ not _ be using a firearm right now,” 

 

The words made Ofelia turn, aiming at Elyza now. 

 

“Shit!” Elyza said, grabbing Ofelia's wrist, pointing the gun away. “Watch it with the gun, I'm a lesbian for fucks sake, we don't really have a good track record with them,” she said. 

 

A twig snapped in the forest. Ofelia aimed her gun again, and began open firing into the woods. 

 

“Holy fuck!” Elyza yelled. “Chill!”

 

Lindsi and Marie came running, weapons in hand. 

 

“What the fuck is-” Lindsi stopped short, looking into the woods. 

 

There was a herd of maybe 100 walkers coming straight for them. 

 

Alicia looked into the woods, her breath catching in her throat. 

 

“We can't take that many, we need to go,” Marie said, snapping them out of their trance. 

 

Alicia scrambled to her feet, grabbing her bag. 

 

“Run,” Alicia muttered. 

  
  


The five of them ran back to the runway, Marie and Lindsi going to get the others. 

 

“Dvon, we gotta go,” Elyza yelled, running into the plane. 

 

“What's going on?” Rob asked, entering the cabin. 

 

“Big hoard, we need to go,” Elyza exclaimed. 

 

“Where's Marie?” He asked, trying to exit the plane. Elyza blocked the exit with her body. 

 

“Lindsi has her, you need to help Dvon,”

 

Before Rob could argue, Marie and Lindsi pushed in. 

 

Ofelia helped them in, grabbing their bags. Anya, Gustus and Chris came in next, slamming the door behind them. 

 

“We gotta go now, Dvon,” Chris called, looking out the window apprehensively. 

 

The plane whirred to life, as they began down the runway. 

 

“Y’all need to sit,” Rob called. 

 

Alicia turned to choose a seat with Elyza. 

 

Everyone scurried to get a seat, putting their seatbelts on. 

 

Elyza was gripping the armrests, her knuckles white. 

 

“You okay?” Alicia asked, covering Elyza's hand with her own. 

 

“This is the worst part,” Elyza said, clenching her eyes shut. 

 

The plane was going really fast, about to take off. 

 

“Babe,” Alicia whispered, cupping Elyza's jaw. 

 

Elyza opened her eyes to see Alicia moving in to capture her lips in a kiss. 

 

Elyza kissed her back slowly, the passion magnified by the drugs in her system. 

 

After a few moments, Alicia pulled back for air. 

 

“We're up,” Alicia whispered. 

 

Elyza blinked, looking out the window. 

 

“Oh, I thought you were the one making me feel like i'm flying,,” she said with a wink. 

 

Alicia shoved her lightly. “You're awful.” She smiled

 

~*~

 

The rest of the plane ride was fairly uneventful. Anya was on Lindsi's lap, both of them having an engaging conversation with Marie, who had a tight smile plastered across her mouth. 

 

Gustus was sleeping and Chris was quietly picking a song on his guitar. 

 

Alicia hadn't even realized that she fell asleep until Elyza woke her by walking past her. 

 

“Elyza! We need you,” 

 

Elyza shimmied out of the isle, waking Alicia. 

 

Alicia got up too, following her to the cockpit. 

 

They closed the door behind them in the tiny room. 

 

_ “This is Nashville Smyrna Control to Cessna 208 You need to land immediately.”  _ A voice said through their radio. 

 

“This is Cessna 208 to Nashville Smyrna Control. Why?” Dvon replied. 

 

Alicia laughed at his informality. 

 

“ _ 208 if you don't land, you will be shot down. Is that clear? _ ” The voice asked, a growl in their voice. 

 

It sounded like a woman. 

 

“Crystal,” Dvon replied. 

 

They waited. 

 

“Why did you need me?” Elyza asked after a moment. 

 

Dvon jumped. “Oh right. You're better at talking to people than I am.”

 

Elyza furrowed her brow. “You didn't even have me talk to her.”

 

“Oh,” Dvon said. “Hey do you have my medicine bottle?”

 

Elyza rolled her eyes. “Yeah,” she placed it in his pocket. 

 

They began leaving the cockpit. 

 

“You better not smoke in my plane,” Rob grumbled, before the smell of marijuana filled the cabin. 

 

Elyza and Alicia took their seats, Elyza gripping the arms again. 

 

Alicia hooked her arm around Elyza's. “It'll be okay,” she whispered. 

 

“This is the other worst part,” Elyza gritted out. 

 

The plane landed smoothly, and rolled to a stop. 

 

They heard commotion coming from the cockpit, so they went to it again. 

 

“ _ Do not leave your plane until we tell you, _ ” the woman commanded. 

 

“Wasn't planning on it,” Dvon sighed back. 

 

Elyza gave him a look and took the microphone from him. “What's going on?” She asked. 

 

“ _ We're kind of stuck, _ ” the woman said back. 

 

“You're stuck?”

 

“ _ Yeah, there's about 50 runners outside, banging on our door. We lost one to them. Could you please help? _ ” 

 

“Runners?” Elyza asked. 

 

“ _ Yes, runners. _ ”

 

Elyza hesitated, looking between her friends. 

 

“Guys, come here,” Rob yelled.  

 

The rest of the group gathered around the door, listening. 

 

“ _ Please? _ ” The woman asked again. “ _ We have a kid. _ ” 

 

“What if it's a trap?” Lindsi asked. 

 

“What if it's not,” Ofelia countered. 

 

“Half of us are high, we shouldn't have guns.” Alicia said. 

 

“We don't have a choice,” Dvon said. “We're out of fuel.” 

 

Elyza sighed, hitting the push-to-talk on the mic. “What do we need to do?” Elyza asked. 

 

The woman sighed. “ _ Thank you so much. Just clear the hallway, if you get them away from the door, we can help from the other side. _ ” 

 

“We're coming,” Elyza said. 

 

~*~

 

The woman gave them directions to the door, a bright yellow one that was impossible to miss. Chris went first, opening the door. 

 

Lindsi and Elyza were in front, firing into the crowd.  

 

They expected the walkers to fall over each other as usual, but they were pushing and shoving, running at them. 

 

“Shit!” Elyza gasped, jumping back, pulling Lindsi. 

 

“New plan,” Elyza yelled over her gunfire. “Don't let them get too far.”

 

Chris was hidden behind the door, holding it as the walkers ran out into the sunlight. 

 

They stood in a wide semicircle, firing into the pack. 

 

Gustus killed the last one. 

 

“She wasn't kidding about there being so many,” Anya sighed. 

 

“Or about them being runners.” Lindsi added. 

 

Alicia went down the hallway first. 

 

There was a young woman lying against the wall, covered in blood. 

 

“This must have been the friend,” Elyza said, walking up behind her. 

 

The woman opened her eyes, and stood up. 

 

Alicia screamed and pointed her bat at her. 

 

“Don't shoot!” She screamed. She put her hands up in a surrendering motion. 

 

“How are you alive?” Alicia yelled, taking a step towards her. 

 

“The blood, it's theirs. They can't smell me with it,”

 

The door swung open. Two young women, a boy, and a young man ran out. 

 

“Adie?” One of the women asked. 

 

“Ontari, I'm okay. I told you it would work!” She smiled. 

 

Alicia paled and nudged Elyza, shoving her bat into her hand. 

 

“Wha-”

 

Before Elyza could finish her sentence, Alicia hit the floor. 

 

When Alicia woke up, she was on the grass, the hot sun beating down on her. She shot up, taking in her surroundings. 

 

She was surprised to find that she didn’t dream. That was certainly different. 

 

“What's going on?” She asked Anya. 

 

The people they rescued were sitting in front of her in a semicircle. 

 

She recognized them immediately. John Murphy was in the middle, he had his arm around Emori, a large tattoo going around her eye. 

  
  
On Murphy's other side sat Indra. 

  
  
What really through Alicia off was Ontari, sitting next to Aden. 

  
  
Ontari killed him. He's dead, why is he with her? 

  
  
Anya, Gustus and Ofelia were sitting beside her. 

  
  
"Where is everyone?" Alicia asked. 

  
"They went to siphon fuel from other planes." Gustus said. 

  
  
They sat in silence for a moment. 

  
  
"And who are you?" Alicia asked the people in front of them. 

 

She knew very well who they were, but she didn't know who was still alive. 

 

“I'm Rick, this is Luisa.” Murphy said in his usual slow drawl, holding Emori-  _ Luisa _ , tighter.    
  


Well they're both alive. 

 

“This is Adina, we call her Addie,” he clapped a hand on her shoulder. 

 

Alive. 

 

“And that's Ontari, and Aden.”

 

Dead. 

 

Ontari was smirking at her and Aden was just looking at her, eyes wide. 

 

“And who are you?” He asked after she didn't say anything. 

 

“I'm Anya,” Anya answered for her. “This is Gustus and that's Alicia.”

 

The smirk fell from Ontari’s face. 

 

Ontari knows she's dead, but she's still using her ‘old’ name. 

 

“Do you not remember?” Ontari asked her. 

 

Anya glared at her. “No, she doesn't.”

 

So that's how they're going to play this. 

 

“Remember what?” Alicia asked innocently. 

 

“If she doesn't remember, then why did she pass out when she saw us?” Ontari asked angrily. 

 

She could see the smirk hiding in Anya's eyes. 

 

“Alicia has a concussion. It's not abnormal.” Anya said coolly. 

 

Ontari pursed her lips. “Well  _ you _ remember us,” she said. 

 

Anya lifted her head. “How could I forget?” She grits out. 

 

“What's she talking about?” Alicia asked, playing dumb. 

 

“Cut the bullshit Lexa, I know you remember us. I saw how surprised you were when you woke up, I saw how you looked at Aden, I saw how you looked at Anya before you  _ lied _ to us,” Ontari was almost yelling. “I'm a special division FBI agent in this life, motherfucker. You think you can lie to me?” She spit. 

 

Alicia was shocked, but she pushed. “I don't know what you're talking about, Tori.”

 

“On. Tari. Ontari!” She yelled. 

 

Anya couldn't help it, she burst out laughing, clutching her stomach. 

 

Alicia was laughing too, hard, as she fell on her back. 

 

Gustus was chuckling too. 

 

When Alicia sat up again, Ontari was bright red. “S-so you do remember,” she said lamely. 

 

“Obviously,” Alicia laughed. 

 

“She really does have that concussion though.” Anya added. 

 

She saw the rest of the group coming across the airfield. 

 

Alicia stood up, brushing herself off as she waited for her friends. 

 

Aden stood too, running to pull her into a hug. 

 

“It's really you, Heda?” He asked into her chest. 

 

“Yes, I-”

 

“We tried, all 12 of us” he was talking quickly. “But after you- and we were going to- we tried to protect Clarke like we promised, we did, but we couldn't even protect ourselves, Lex- Commander.”

 

“You can call me Lexa,” She could feel her voice changing. 

 

“Lexa,” he said, testing the name. He pulled away. 

 

“Tell me your story. Your story of this world.” Her voice was accented. 

 

“I was an orphan. My adoptive parents were EMTs, that's how they met, and that how they died. I found Ontari on my way to my grandpa’s. He was dead too. We found Adina and thought she was a walker, we almost shot her. Lastly we found Rick and Luisa. They were hiding out here, we've known them for a few weeks.”

 

Alicia paused, nodding. She was dizzy. 

 

“You promised you would take care of Clarke?” Her voice was hard. Aden looked different, but he nodded.

 

_ “Clarke, this is Aden,” she began against her will. “The most promising of my novitates” _

 

_ The earth lurched around her. Clarke was suddenly standing in front of her, a black stain across her face. Aden was to her right, dressed in black.  _

 

_ “If I should die today, he will likely succeed me.” She turned to him. “Clarke worries about our people. Tell her what will happen when you become Heda, Aden.”  _

 

_ “If I become Heda,” He begins. “I pledge my loyalty to the 13th Clan.” _

 

_ “Alicia?” Clarke asked.  _

 

_ No- not Clarke; Elyza.   _

 

_ Elyza? _

 

_ Her vision slowly began changing, the dulled lights of her throne room transformed into bright sunlight. The grey of the floor turning into a bright, grass green.  _

 

“Alicia?” Elyza asked again, her hand dropping to her shoulder. She jumped. 

 

Elyza looked incredibly shaken, worry filled her eyes. 

 

“Oh,” she said, blinking a few times. “What's going on?”

 

Alicia took the time to realize that everyone was standing around her. 

 

“You were have a one sided conversation with me, then with _Clarke,_ ” Aden said. 

 

“Oh,” Alicia said again, dazed. “What did I say?”

 

“Something about how if you died, Aden would be loyal to the 13th Clan and Clarke-”

 

“You,” Alicia interrupted. 

 

“No,  _ Clarke _ …” Elyza said, furrowing her brow. 

 

“Yeah, same thing,” Alicia said, waving her hand in a dismissing motion. 

 

Elyza just looked at her. 

 

Did she say something wro- 

 

She slapped a hand over her mouth, eyes widening. 

 

“Please tell me you just misspoke.” Elyza said. 

 

She looked over at Anya who had both hands covering her nose and mouth. 

 

Alicia shook her head. It's now or never. 

 

“What do you mean  _ same thing? _ ” Elyza said, narrowing her eyes. 

 

“We  _ are not _ doing this now,” Anya complained, her voice muffled. 

 

Elyza waited for an explanation. 

 

“I- okay. So the reason I've been passing out, is because I've been reincarnated and I'm remembering my past life.”

 

Elyza waited. 

 

“In my past life, I was the commander of the 12 clans, on an earth that had been bombed 100 years prior. 

 

“Gustus was my bodyguard. I was Anya's second. 

 

“In my world, a spaceship fell from the sky with 100 delinquents in it. One of the delinquents was a girl named Clarke. There was also a girl called Raven, who will be reincarnated into Lindsi, a girl named Octavia, who will become Marie,  and her brother, Bellamy who is Rob. Also a boy named Monty, who is Chris and his best friend Jasper who is Dvon. And a boy named John Murphy, or Rick. There were girls called Charlotte, Gina and Monroe.”

 

“Like the girls we met at Blackridge?” Ofelia asked. 

 

“Them exactly. They died, and were reincarnated. Which is why they recognized us,” Alicia said looking to Elyza. 

 

“Clarke came to me and initiated a truce, and we ended up falling in love. Shortly after, I was shot in the stomach and died in her arms.” She felt herself getting dizzy. No one had told her that she died in Clarke's arms. 

 

“Elyza, you're an alternate universe Clarke, and- and I fell…” She put her arms out, trying to balance herself. 

 

Elyza surged forward, grabbing her. 

 

She slipped unconscious. 

 

_ She’s standing outside Clarke’s room in Polis.  _

 

_ She hears two gunshots and pushes through the door of her room.  _

 

_ A searing pain rips through her sternum, and she stumbles back. Titus is on the ground, a gun in his hand.  _

 

_ All she can feel is pain. It feels like her insides are on fire.  _

 

_ “Lexa.” Clarke says. She takes step back in disbelief, eyes wide.  _

 

_ She gasps, looking down at the wound as she brings her fingers to it, her dark blood soaking through her shirt. _

 

_ She hears the gun fall to the floor. “Heda,” Titus says.  _

 

_ She looks back up at Clarke. She can see the fear in Clarke’s eyes, and the pain.  _

 

_ She falls to her knees and Clarke surges out, trying to catch her. _

 

_ “No,” Clarke says. _

 

_ An accidental death. The great leader of the 13 Clans gets an accidental death. She thinks she would be bitter if it weren't for the pain.  _

 

_ Titus scrambles over to help lay her on the floor.  _

 

_ She is gasping for breath, her hand covering the wound.  _

 

_ “Help me get her to the bed,” Clarke yells.  _

 

_ Titus obliges, hauling her up into her bed. “What have I done?” He gasps.  _

 

_ “I need something to stop the bleeding.”  Clarke orders him, shoving him out of the way as she applies pressure to the bullet hole.  _

 

_ “You'll be ok,” Clarke tells her, as she spasms on the bed. _

 

_ She won't be. _

 

_ “Just lie still, okay? Lie still.” Her hands cover Clarke’s.  _

 

_ “Don't - be afraid.” She pants, through labored breath. She swallows hard, still whimpering.  _

 

_ “You're gonna be fine.” Clarke reassures her. Titus comes up with a cloth and a bowl. “Just stay still.” _

 

_ She’s not going to be. _

 

_ Clarke tears her shirt open, exposing her stomach. Her black blood is pooling.  _

 

_ Clarke pours the water onto her abdomen then presses the cloth.  _

 

_ Her hands are covered in blood.  _

 

_ “She's losing too much blood.” Clarke says more to herself.  _

 

_ She looks down at the wound, gasping. “Stay with me,” Clarke tells her.  _

 

_ Clarke turns to Titus who is spreading out tools next to a small box with a skull on it. It’s on a red mat. “What the hell is that?”  _

 

_ Titus pulls out a scalpel. _

 

_ “Titus, what are you doing?” _

 

_ He doesn't respond.  _

 

_ She groans, the pain too much. Clarke turns to her. “I will fix you. Just stay with me,” She says, nodding frantically. _

 

_ She can't be fixed. _

 

_ She can feel the blood pooling by the corner of her mouth.  _

 

_ Titus comes up behind her. “Oh, no. Get away from her.” Clarke says. _

 

_ He holds up a hand, silencing her.  _

 

_ He cups her face. “Forgive me, Heda,”  _

 

_ “Yu nou trana bash op Klark nodotaim nowe. Swega em klin.” She says, her voice shaking, her body jolting.  _ You will never again attempt to harm Clarke. Swear it.

 

_ “Ai swega em klin,” He replies, tears falling onto Lexa’s chest.  _ I swear it. 

 

_ She nods a few time, her eyes fluttering shut as a tear falls down her cheek.  _

 

_ Her eyes open again after a moment. “Den dula yu job op.” Lexa chokes out. “Badan neson-de op kom we yu don badan ai op, Fleimkepa” Lexa whispers the last part.  _ Then do your job. Serve the next as you have served me, Fleimkepa.

 

_ Titus nods, stepping away.  _

 

_ Clarke steps up to her, still applying pressure to the wound. “Hey, don't you dare give up.” _

 

_ She shakes her head. “I’m not.” The words barely come out. She swallows. “My spirit…  will live on.” _

 

_ “No.” Clarke cuts in.  “I'm not letting you die.” _

 

_ It won't be Clarke’s fault. _

 

_ “There's nothing you can do now.” She says, her voice just above a whisper. “The next commander will protect you.” _

 

_ “I don't want the next commander.” Clarke whispers back. She shakes her head sadly, feeling her heart break. “I want you.” Clarke says, voice cracking as her tears spill over.  _

 

_ “I’m ready, Heda,” Titus says, appearing behind her again.  _

 

_ Clarke looks at her, then back to him. He coats his finger in the blood from her stomach and swipes a line from the top of his head to the space between his brows. _

 

_ “Clarke…” She says, gaining her attention.  _

 

_ Clarke turns back to her, her hand resting on her head. “I’m here.”  _

 

_ “Ai gonplei ste odon,” She whispers. _

 

_ “No,” Clarke shakes her head angrily. “No, I won't accept that,” _

 

_ She notices her  body has stopped jolting.  _

 

_ She’s tired. _

 

_ “You were right, Clarke,” She whispers through her tears, a sad smile playing on her lips. “Life is about more than just surviving.”  _

 

_ “Oh,” Clarke gasps, tears spilling over her cheeks. _

 

_ She blinks slowly and takes a deep breath. Her body jumps once again. _

 

_ “In peace may you leave the shore.” Clarke whispers, sniffling.  _

 

_ She nods just barely, holding her gaze as tears spring to her eyes.  _

 

_ “In love may you find the next,” Clarke’s voice is broken.  _

 

_ She jolts, her heart swelling. _

 

_ “Safe passage on your travels…” Clarke’s voice cracks.  “until our final journey on the ground.” She sniffles again.  _

 

_ “May we meet again.” Clarke sobs.  _

 

_ She holds her gaze, her lips slightly parted. She can feel herself slipping away. It’s infinitely more calm then when it happened in her delusion.   _

 

_ Her eyes begin losing focus.  _

 

_ Clarke leans down and presses a soft kiss to her lips. She’s in control of her body. She puts the rest of her dwindling strength into kissing Clarke back, but her lips only end up moving an inch. _

 

_ Clarke pulls away.  _

 

_ Her body is unresponsive. _

 

_ Her eyes unfocus completely, glazing over, black beginning to surround her. _

 

_ She hears Clarke crying, her hot tears landing on her bare stomach.  _

 

_ She see’s Clarke’s hand come into her view as she reaches over and closes her eyes. Her fingertips stained with her blood. _

 

_ The last thing she hears is the sound of Clarke sobbing. _

 

Her eyes flew open. She laid in the grass, her arms spread. 

 

She has never felt so empty, so incomplete. She felt a physical pain in her chest, a physical emptiness in her stomach. She felt like the fire inside her was just blown out by one hot  _ whoosh _ of breath.

 

She refused to move. She  _ couldn't _ . 

 

Was this it? Was she done reliving her life?

 

She feared movement would tell her if she were alive or not. 

 

She didn't know which one would be worse. 

 

All she could think about is Clarke, holding her in her arms as she died. 

 

She could think about was Clarke's shaking hands, covered in  _ her _ dark blood, as she closed her eyelids. 

 

She didn't know what was real anymore. 

 

How many lives had she lived? How many  _ would _ she live? 

 

She didn't feel the tears rolling down her cheeks in thick streams. 

 

“Alicia?” Elyza asked quietly. 

 

She refused to move. If she moves, this is real. 

 

Elyza dropped to her knees, her hand resting on Alicia's thigh. 

 

Alicia jumped, as if Elyza’s hands were fire. 

 

Hurt flashed across Elyza's face, but she couldn't bring herself to care. Not yet. 

 

Clarke didn't just lose _her_ when she died. She lost Clarke too. 

 

She pulled her knees up to her chest and rolled over onto her side, her cheek flush with the grass. 

 

She laid there, the full story in her lap. Her story. 

 

She laid there, curled up, tears running down both cheeks. She couldn't even  _ imagine _ how Clarke was dealing. 

 

She let out a choked sob at the thought. 

 

She could hear the people above her whispering about what to do. 

 

She was crying into her jeans. She knew how pitiful she sounded. Her sobs were broken and forced, like she was yelling or coughing. 

 

Suddenly, she heard the sound of something. It was hard to place, it almost sounded like…

 

Runners. 

 

A large group was running at them. 

 

“We need to go!” Elyza yelled, pulling on her. 

 

She wanted to stay. 

 

“I need to get my brother,” Marie said, running toward the plane. 

 

“I'll come too,” Ofelia said, running after her. 

 

“We need to go now. We have to get inside,” Adina said, as she began running back to the yellow doors. 

 

“Alicia we  have to go,” Elyza urged. 

 

_ You _ have to go, she thought. 

 

“We don't have time for this,” Gustus muttered. 

 

He grabbed her by the middle and flung her over his shoulder, and began running. 

 

She startled, seeing how close the runners got. 

 

Lindsi and Elyza were behind her and Gustus, and the runners only a few yards behind them. 

 

One was gaining on Lindsi. 

 

They sprinted off the grass, onto the asphalt. 

 

Alicia saw it happen in slow motion. 

 

Lindsi tripped over her feet, falling, bringing the runner down with her. 

 

She could feel her heart drop. 

 

Lindsi sprung up almost immediately and began running again. 

 

They run through the yellow doors and shut them. Luckily, they open outward. 

 

Gustus put her down. 

 

“Follow me, there's another way out,” Adina said, beginning to run again. 

 

“What about our friends?” Elyza called angrily. 

 

“They have a plane. They can get out of here. When we get outside we can loop around. Maybe get on the roof.” Luisa said, running after Adina. 

 

They all ran. They ran through the control room, then through a corridor. 

 

“Wait!” Rick yelled, stopping. 

 

The rest of the group kept running as a large piece of concrete fell, closing the hallway. 

 

Only Rick, Alicia, Elyza, Lindsi, Adina and Ontari managed to stop in time. The rest were on the other side of the wreckage, were anything could be lurking. 

 

“Why did you know to stop?” Elyza asked accusingly. 

 

Rick shrugged. “6th sense, I guess,” he said. 

 

“It was on purpose.” Elyza scowled. 

 

“It was not! My  _ girlfriend _ is over there. We haven't explored that part of the airport yet.” He argued. 

 

“Guys,” Lindsi said. 

 

“It could have been all part of the plan. Separate us so you could rob us and kill us.”

 

“There is no ‘plan’. We wouldn't-”

 

“Guys!” Lindsi yelled. 

 

They stopped and turned to her.

 

She was sitting on the floor, her knees bent, her pant leg rolled up exposing a nasty bite on the back on her left leg. Just above her ankle. 

 

Elyza gasped, tears immediately springing to her eyes. “Lindsi,” she whispered. 

 

Lindsi was crying now. “Don't let me turn into one of those things,”

 

“Hold on,” Adina said. “Amputating works,” she said. 

 

“W-what?” Elyza asked. 

 

“We can save her if we amputate,” Adina said. 

 

“What?!” Lindsi exclaimed. “I-I can't… We can't…”

 

“How do you know?” Elyza asked. 

 

“We've done it before. In my last group.” She said. 

 

“I don't know…” Lindsi began. 

 

“Do you wanna live?” Alicia asked. 

 

“Of course,” Lindsi replied. 

 

“Then trust her.” Life was too precious not to try.

 

Lindsi nodded. “Okay,”

 

“You need to hurry,” Adina said, looking at Elyza. 

 

“Me?” She asked. 

 

“Aren't you a doctor?” 

 

“I was in my second year before I dropped out to pursue art,”

 

“Well that's good enough,” Rick said. He held out his axe. 

 

Elyza took it and sighed, settling on her knees. 

 

“You need to get a fire going.”

 

“In the middle of the hallway?” Rick asked. 

 

“No choice,” Elyza replied. 

 

She took her knife and cut Lindsi's pant leg away. She used the ripped fabric as a tourniquet, tying it right above the knee, tight. 

 

“Wait,” Lindsi said. 

 

Elyza looked up at her. 

 

“Above the knee, or below?” 

 

“Below.”

 

Elyza took a bottle of vodka from her bag and a lighter. She took another scrap of fabric and shoved in in Lindsi's mouth. 

 

“Might wanna bite on this.” Elyza said. 

 

“Do you have any whiskey in your bag?” Lindsi asked. 

 

“I do, but alcohol is a blood thinner and I don't want you bleeding out.”

 

“That's… Reassuring.”

 

Elyza poured the alcohol on a rag and wiped down the axe. She lit in on fire, and waited for the alcohol to burn off. She then wiped down the leg with the vodka. 

 

“I need you four to hold her down,” Elyza said. 

 

Alicia and Ontari pinned her arms and shoulders to the ground, while Rick and Adina held her legs. 

 

Elyza stood up, swinging the axe a few times, practicing her aim. 

 

The smell of smoke began filling the hallway as the fire roared to life.

 

“Wait!” Lindsi said. 

 

“Yeah?” Elyza asked. Her voice was hoarse. 

 

“What if it doesn't work.”

 

Rick sighed. “This can go one of four ways. We could do nothing, let the bite turn you and kill you. We could just kill you. We could cut your leg off and it won't work, and you'll die, or we can cut your leg off and it will work, and you will live. Up to you,”

 

Lindsi nodded. “Okay. Just do it.” She put the cloth into her mouth and bit down. 

 

Elyza practiced swinging the axe again. “Hold her still,” she warned. 

 

Elyza swung the axe high, and brought it down as hard as she could. 

 

The axe landed with a sickening crunch. 

 

Elyza immediately threw the axe in the fire, having the blade heat up. 

 

Lindsi screamed through the cloth. Her fists were balled as she tried to move. 

 

Alicia and Ontari held her arms tighter to the ground. 

 

“It's not through all the way,” Elyza said, wiping some of Lindsi's blood off her face. 

 

“Again.” Adina said. 

 

Adina pulled her shin back, exposing tendons and muscle. 

 

Alicia looked away, trying not to gag. 

 

Elyza pulled out her knife and cut through Lindsi's flesh, severing the leg completely. 

 

Lindsi screamed again, but it was cut short by her passing out. 

 

Adina tossed the leg to the side. 

 

Elyza pulled the red hot axe out of the fire and pressed the wide part of the axe against Lindsi's stump. 

 

Lindsi woke, screaming, tears running down her cheeks. 

 

She screamed again, her voice wearing thin. 

 

“Has the bleeding stopped?” Adina asked over the noise. 

 

Elyza nodded numbly. 

 

Lindsi passed out again. 

 

The stench of burning flesh flooded the hallway. 

 

Alicia had to step away. She retched, emptying the contents of her stomach onto the floor. 

 

Elyza sat, slumping against the wall. Her front was speckled with blood. 

 

Lindsi woke again, screaming of course. She sat up, no one holding her shoulders. 

 

Her eyes landed on her discarded leg, and she passed out for a third time, her head hitting the thin carpet with a loud thud. 

 

“If she wakes up again, I'm knocking her out,” Rick muttered, stomping out the fire.

 

A few quiet moments passed.

 

Alicia curled up again, her back to Elyza, to everyone. 

 

She didn't feel like she belonged here. 

 

She didn't feel like she belonged anywhere. 

 

She picked idly at her stitches, wishing the blood that came out was black instead of red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That doesnt count as MCD right? 
> 
> You can probably tell I wrote this in two different mindsets, huh? Sorry if this is hella depressing,its probably because I'm rereading Twist & Shout. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> There's a reason Alicia didn't dream when she saw Ontari and stuff. You'll see.
> 
> Vote on the name for the One Shot: http://www.strawpoll.me/10452583


	16. Volatile

It had been a day so far. The rest of the group hadn't found them, and they couldn't move Lindsi. Alicia sat against the wall on the farther end of the hallway. Her eyes were shut. 

 

Alicia didn't hear Elyza come up and sit next to her until she spoke.

 

“It's gonna scar,” Elyza commented on the cut, making the younger girl jump, her eyes flying open.  “Sorry,” Elyza said. 

 

Alicia just shrugged. “It's whatever.” 

 

The blood had dried. 

 

Elyza frowned. “What's going on?” She asked quietly. 

 

“When I last passed out, I relived my death.” Alicia sighed. 

 

“Was I- was Clarke with you?”

 

“Yeah, you were.” Alicia said. 

 

Elyza was quiet for a minute. “Was I the one who killed you?” 

 

“No.”

 

Elyza nodded. 

 

Another silence. 

 

“You said you were in love with her,” Elyza said cautiously. 

 

Tears sprung to her eyes at the thought of the girl she loved. The girl she loved that was sitting right next to her that was simultaneously the same person and a different one. 

 

“I'm sorry,” Elyza apologized. “I shouldn't have brought it up,” she said quietly, shaking her head. 

 

Alicia sniffled. “It's fine, really.” Alicia began. “It's just strange to talk to you about a you that you don't know. It's hard to understand.”

 

“Then explain it to me,” Elyza replied. 

 

Alicia nodded. “I really am so in love with her.” She began. 

 

_ Am _ . 

 

“She's one of the strongest people I've ever met. She lives with the guilt of killing hundreds. She hates herself, but God, I love her so much.” She ignored the tears falling down her cheeks. 

 

She looks at Elyza whose eyes are misty. 

 

“It sounds cliché, but I felt so empty, so cold, before her. When I met her, everything started making sense.” She was looking at the wall in front of her, forgetting that she was talking to Elyza. 

 

“It's strange, seeing someone who I love so much, who loved me so much, but now they don't recognize me. Don't know my name. Don't love me.”

 

Elyza sniffled. “Are you still talking about Clarke?” She asked, voice strained and wavering. 

 

“No,” Alicia whispered, shaking her head. 

 

Elyza scooted closer and threw her arm around the younger girl, pulling her into a tight hug. 

 

Alicia had her arms folded against her chest. She cried against her. 

  
  
  


~*~

  
  


The next day, they were finally found by the group they were separated from. 

 

They ended up cutting a hole through an adjacent hallway, next to theirs. 

 

Lindsi's wound was healing well so they opted to move her to the plane. 

 

When the full group had finally got back together, they boarded the plane, leaving Ontari, Aden, Adina, Emori, and Rick behind. 

 

The plane ride to Baltimore/Washington International was a fairly short flight, only an hour and 40 minutes, (not that Alicia was counting). The sun had just began to set when they landed.

 

Saint Agnes Healthcare was only a few miles down the road from the airport. 

 

Upon landing, the first thing Elyza did, was call Jackson. 

 

Alicia had fallen asleep in the midst of her emotional whiplash, so Elyza just pulled the phone out of her pocket and called. 

 

Jackson answered on the fourth ring. She turned it on speaker. 

 

“ _ Elyza? _ ” He asked. 

 

“Yeah, hey Jackson. Now a good time?” She asked. 

 

There was a muffled sound over the receiver, then: 

 

_ “Yes, I'm alone.” _

 

“We just landed in Baltimore, the airport by Saint Agnes. Where are you?”

 

_ “A-already?” _ He asked nervously.  _ “What do you mean ‘we’?” _

 

“My friends. Alicia, Lindsi, Anya, Gustus, Ofelia, Rob, Marie, Chris, and Dvon. Yes already.”

 

The line went quiet. 

 

_ “Okay,” _ he sighed.  _ “I can meet you at Fort Meade? When can you get there?” _ He asked. 

 

“Hold on,” Elyza said. 

 

She shoved the phone into Ofelia's hand and grabbed Chris, spinning him around and pulling a map out of his bag. 

 

She spread the map over the small table. 

 

She held her hand out, signaling Ofelia to pass the phone back. 

 

“Looks like a 2 hour walk,” Elyza said, circling an intersection on the map. 

 

_ “Okay I can do that. Are you bringing your whole group?” _

 

“I was planning on it.”

 

_ “There aren't many of us here, Elyza. If you come with a group that big, they're going to feel threatened.” _

 

“What about half the group?” Elyza asked. 

 

_ “How many is that? Five?” _

 

“Yeah.”

 

_ “That's still too many.” _

 

“I won't take less than three.”

 

_ “Three then.”  _ Jackson said. 

 

“See you,” Elyza said, pulling the phone from her ear.  

 

_ “Wait!” _ Jackson exclaimed.  _ “If it gets too dark, you  _ need _ to stop traveling. Seek shelter, no exceptions.” _ He warned. 

 

“Sure,” Elyza replied, hitting the ‘end call’ button. 

 

She sighed, slipping the phone back into Alicia's pocket. 

 

Marie ran a hand through her long hair. “So who are you going to take?”

  
  


~*~

 

_ Alicia was floating through limbo.  _

 

_ She always knows when she's Lexa in these unconscious states. Her skin feels heavier on her bones, her limbs ache. Now, she feels a dull pulsing in the flesh below her sternum.  _

 

_ It reminded her of her first dream, where she was drifting in and out of limbo, into memories.   _

 

_ “I can't believe how many people A.L.I.E. has now.” _

 

_ She jumped, the words catching her by surprise. The voice almost sounded like Lindsi. Raven perhaps.  _

 

_ “You see this cluster? It's a building. But all this, these are  _ minds. _ ” _

 

_ She didn't know what ALIE was but- _

  
  


Alicia was ripped into consciousness by Marie shaking her. 

 

“Wake up, sleeping beauty. You're going on an adventure.”

 

Her eyes flew open. “What?” She all but spits, taking in her surroundings. 

 

“You're going with Elyza and Rob to meet up with Jackson.” Marie explained simply, handing her her bat. 

 

Alicia took it and sat up, throwing her hair into a ponytail. She hissed as her stitches got caught in her hair. She cursed as the warm blood spread into her palm. 

 

“I’m gonna need to wrap this up,” She commented, looking up at Elyza. 

 

Elyza nodded, dropping her backpack and tossing her a roll of gauze from the airplane’s first aid kit.  Elyza’s face was painted with warpaint in her usual style. 

 

She wrapped her hand messily, tying a loose knot to keep it in place. 

 

“Are we going now?” Alicia asked. 

 

“Yeah, we should be able to make it there by sundown.” Elyza explained. 

 

Alicia stood up. 

 

“Wait!” Anya called, pushing Alicia back down. 

 

Alicia let out a soft “oof” as she landed in her seat. 

 

“I wanna paint you first.” She explained. 

 

Alicia smiled, lips tight, moving her legs so Anya could kneel between them. Anya pulled out a small container of black paint. She poured some water into it and sloshed it around. 

 

“I usually use a brush, but…” Anya trailed off, dipping her fingers into the paint and smudging it onto the side of Alicia’s face- from her temple into her hairline. She repeated the same action to the other side of her face, dragging the paint over her eyebrows and onto her eyelids. Anya dipped both thumbs into the paint, marking each side of her nose, then swiping under her eyes. 

 

“Almost done,” Anya muttered, collecting more paint on her fingertips. She held up three fingers on each hand, dragging the paint down her cheeks. She used her thumb to connect the lines better. 

 

Anya got up, taking a few steps back as she closed the container and wiped the paint onto her jeans. 

 

“Holy shit, I’m gonna cry,” Anya laughed, looking at her handy work. 

 

“What?” Alicia asked, pulling her phone out and pulling up the camera. 

 

“Holy shit,” Alicia said. She looked at her phone to see Lexa staring back at her. It made her feel dizzy. 

 

“Let's go,” Rob announced. 

 

~*~

 

They had only been walking for about 20 minutes when Alicia stopped dead in her tracks. 

 

“Wha-” Elyza began. 

 

“Shh.” Alicia pointed to a large tree on the side of the road. 

 

Elyza shrugged, shaking her head. 

 

Alicia rolled her eyes and cupped Elyza's jaw, turning her head towards the tree.

 

“Oh,” she whispered. 

 

Sitting at the base of the tree were three corpses. One flat on the ground, while the other two were slumped against the tree. 

 

Rob pulled out his knife and slowly began walking up to them. 

 

“Don't get any closer.” One of the bodies said, making Rob jump. 

 

“Don't worry, we're not infected, just in disguise.” The other body said. A girl this time. 

 

The man stood up. “I'm Wells by the way,” he said, holding a hand out to Rob. Rob looked at his hand, then back to his face with disgust. 

 

“Oh right, sorry,” Wells said, letting his hand drop. 

 

“I'm Chelsea, who are you?” The woman asked as she also stood up. 

 

Alicia took a step forward. “I'm Alicia and this is Rob and Elyza,” she said, gesturing to her friends. 

 

“We're trying to get to Fort Meade,” Elyza said. 

 

“Well you should wait until morning.” Wells began. “The infected are… Different on that side of town.”

 

“Yeah! They get stronger the closer you get to Saint Agnes. Something's going on over there. I think they're  _ making _ them and-”

 

“Chels,” Wells interrupted giving her a look. “That's just a theory,” he said. 

 

Chelsea nodded. 

 

“What do you mean  _ different _ ?” Rob asked. 

 

Wells picked at his hands nervously. “They only come out at night and they're incredibly strong and agile. You've seen the runners right?”

 

They all nodded. 

 

“Yeah imagine those, but they can climb.” Wells finished. 

 

“Well fuck me,” Elyza muttered. “We need to get there tonight,” she said. 

 

Wells sighed. “I wouldn't recommend it, but you could run,”

 

“Run 7 miles?” Alicia asked. 

 

Wells shrugged. “If you wanna get there tonight.”

 

Elyza shifted and looked between Rob and Alicia. “I think we can do it,” Elyza said. 

 

Alicia nodded, taking a deep breath. 

 

“Yeah, alright.” Rob said. 

 

“Take this,” Chelsea said, holding out a flashlight. 

 

Elyza furrowed her brow, but took the flashlight anyways. 

 

“It's a uv light. It stuns them.”

 

Elyza flicked on the flashlight, purple light flooding the street. 

 

“Good that,” Elyza said, turning and continuing down the road. 

 

~*~

 

The trees on either side of the road began thinning out as they got closer to Severn. The sun has set, leaving them in darkness. They were a little over halfway to their final destination when the small town came into view. It was a very industrial looking town. The buildings were all big and blocky, with fire escapes and ladders. Thin alley ways separated the town into a grid.   

 

Alicia stopped short when a group of infected came into view. She held out a hand, signaling the others to do the same. 

 

These infected looked different. They were completely naked and all very muscular. Their shoulders and upper arms seemed to be bare of any flesh, just muscle. Their jaws were open, almost ripped apart and they seemed to have spikes of some sort growing out of their sides. 

 

“Wha-” 

 

“Shh!” Alicia hissed, cutting Rob off, but she wasn't fast enough.  

 

The group turned to them, and began running. 

 

“Shit,” Elyza muttered. 

 

Alicia took off first, running down an alley into another street. She could hear Rob and Elyza behind her, but she spared a glance over her shoulder anyways. 

 

Five of the infected were gaining on them, running at top speed. 

 

Alicia zigzagged through streets and alleys hoping to lose them. 

 

“Up there!” Elyza yelled, pointing to a ladder. It was attached to a tall brick building, not touching the ground. It had metal strips around it, so no one wouldn't fall off. 

 

Rob ran in front, dropping to one knee under the ladder. “Go go go!” He yelled, clasping his hands together. 

 

Alicia leaped onto his hand, then the ladder, pulling herself up. She felt Elyza land on the ladder moments later. 

 

“Can you get up?” Alicia asked Rob as she climbed onto the roof. 

 

Rob didn't answer, he took a running start and jumped onto the ladder, pulling himself up just as the pack caught up with them. 

 

Alicia helped Elyza onto the roof while Rob fired a few shots at the infected below. 

 

“You'll just attract more, come on” Elyza yelled over the sound. 

 

Rob complied, joining them on the roof. He let out a loud sigh. “That was close.” He gasped. 

 

“We're not out of the woods yet,” Alicia said, looking over the edge. 

 

“They're climbing up.” She said, panic rising. 

 

“Follow me,” Elyza yelled. 

 

Elyza began running toward the opposite side of the building, jumping at the very last minute. She landed on the next roof. 

 

“Come on!” She called. 

 

Alicia didn't have time to think about it, the infected were almost up and Rob only managed to kill one of them. 

 

She took off after Rob, jumping to the next building. “This is crazy” she muttered. 

 

They kept running from one rooftop to the next. Alicia could hear the pack gaining on them. 

 

She jumped to the next building, a loud crash coming from behind her. She didn't have time to look, but she yelled: “I think one fell!”

 

They kept going. 

 

_ Run, leap, roll, recover. Run, leap, roll, recover. Run, leap, roll, recover.  _

 

Elyza skidded to a stop ahead of her. 

 

“What?” Alicia called, out of breath. 

 

“No more buildings.” Elyza said. 

 

Rob landing on the building behind him, making the girls turn. 

 

“There are only two left, I think we can take them.” He said, pulling out his gun. 

 

There was no time to argue. The runners leaped onto the building, coming at them quickly. Elyza pulled out the UV flashlight, flicking it on. The runner drops to the ground. 

 

Rob fired at it, putting seven bullets into it before it finally stopped moving. Elyza stepped ahead, dropping the flashlight and firing at the second one. It fell, and Elyza put two bullets in its brain. 

 

“We have to work fast,” Elyza said, running and dropping to her knees in front of the runner. “The gunshots will attract more.”

 

She plunged the knife into its stomach, ripping it open. She scooped up the dark blood and poured it on herself, masking her scent. 

 

Rob and Alicia cut open the other one, covering themselves in the blood as well. 

 

“We need to go,” Elyza said, looking over the edge. 

 

~*~

 

They finally got to Fort Meade, stopping as two figures approached them. 

 

Rob and Elyza pulled their guns, standing in front of Alicia. 

 

“Elyza?” One of the people asked. 

 

“Jackson?”

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The infected referenced are the Dying Light Volatile zombs seen in the 100 Years of Zombies video


	17. The Returned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one more chapter before the epilogue and authors note!

The group had expected to be walked into the Fort Meade building, but they were not. 

 

They were walked down a ladder into the sewers. 

 

“Uhm,” Elyza began. 

 

“I'll explain when we get there,” Jackson said, walking along.

 

They walked for a few minutes in the darkness, then turned out from the main sewers onto a thinner path. It sloped downward. 

 

“We just entered Burba Lake,” the other man with Jackson said. 

 

“We're under it?” Rob asked. 

 

“Indeed,” the man hummed.  

 

The path began to flatten out again. The air was humid, Alicia felt like she was swimming. Her hair began to stick to her neck, her paint loosening. 

 

They carried on in silence, the only sound being the shuffling of their feet though the shallow water. 

 

A new noise made Alicia turnaround. The path had narrowed so they were walking single file, the walls sweating around them. The sound was Elyza holding a cigarette to her lips, trying to light it. 

 

“It's too fucking  _ moist _ down here,” Elyza muttered putting the soggy cigarette back in the carton. 

 

Rob chuckled behind her. 

 

“What?” Elyza asked, the heat making her impatient. 

 

“You said moist,” Rob laughed, earning an eye roll. 

 

“You're a child,” Elyza muttered. 

 

“The heats getting to his head,” Alicia said, wiping the sweat from her forehead. 

  
  
  


The five of them walked for what seemed like hours in the  _ moist  _ darkness. Alicia lost all concept of time. Her mind began to swim, losing focus on the space around her. She began to feel dizzy, throwing her arms out to catch the wall to balance herself, but the walls were gone.  

 

“Fuck,” She swore, letting the darkness surround her.

  
  


_ She was floating in limbo again, her body feeling liquid.   _

 

_ A voice made her jump.  _

 

_ “I told you, Ontari's no longer an option for the Flame. She's brain dead. Is the floor secure?“  It was Clarke's voice.  _

 

_ ”For now.“ Bellamy replied.  “Jaha and the guards are tied up in a bedroom.“  _

 

_ “We took out the elevator and the ladder as we climbed. The stairs are collapsed. No one's following us.“ Pike added.   _

 

_ “Good.“ Clarke began.  “Then we have time.“ _

 

_ “What we don't have is a way down.“ Murphy complained. _

 

_ “Time for what?“ Bellamy asked, ignoring him. _

 

_ “An Ascension ceremony.“  Clarke replied.  _

 

_ Oh no.  _

 

_ She couldn't see, but she could paint the picture in her mind somehow. Clarke was in her throne room, Ontari was dead, and Clarke was going to take the flame. The voice stopped and she was ripped back into consciousness.  _

  
  


She sat up and took in her surroundings. She had been moved from out of the tunnels into a wider one, like the sewers they were in before. She pushed herself into her feet. 

 

Rob and Elyza were standing in front of her, Jackson and the other man he was with were standing in front of them. Two men pointed guns at them, 

 

”We can work this out,” The other man, Jaha, said holding his hands up. 

 

”Why are you in our tunnel?” The man with the gun asked. 

 

”Why are you in  _ our _ tunnel?” Elyza asked, putting her hands on her hips. 

 

The man narrowed his eyes. A gunshot echoed through the room and Alicia knew what had happened before she even looked. She turned to see Elyza, mouth agape, looking down at the blood seeping through her shirt, right above the valley between her breasts. 

 

Alicia was frozen with fear. 

 

Elyza collapsed, snapping her out of it. She whipped her own gun out, firing three bullets into the shooter's chest in the blink of an eye. She holstered her weapon, running over to Elyza and dropping to her knees. 

 

“Alicia-” Elyza gasped. 

 

Alicia couldn't breathe. She felt like she was going to pass out. 

 

“You'll be okay,” Alicia muttered, tears rolling down her cheeks as she ripped Elyza's shirt open. 

 

This can't be happening.

 

She stopped short as she noticed something. 

 

The necklace Elyza had been wearing, a bronze pendant identical to the symbol she used to wear on her forehead, had a bullet sized hole right through the middle. 

 

She moved the 50 cent piece sized pendant to the side, blood soaking her hands. 

 

“Alicia,” Elyza began again. “I-” she sucked in some air. 

 

“I know,” Alicia said. “I lo-” but before she could say anything more, she passed out suddenly.

  
  
  


_ Alicia was aware, but wasn't dreaming.  _

 

_ This can't be happening. She needs to wake up and stop Elyza's bleeding.  _

 

_ She can feel Clarke; her emotions and her body.  _

 

_ She was aware of Clarke's blood transfusion happening and aware of time passing quickly. She is aware of Clarke's body rejecting the blood, and aware of Clarke seeing what she thinks is her. She is aware of Clarke's heartbeat increasing when she sees A.L.I.E's recreation of her. She is aware of Clarke saying “ I love you,“  even when her mouth won't form the words. She is aware of Clarke hearing 'her' say “I'll always be with you,“  She is aware of Clarke watching  her die again, and she is aware of Clarke waking up, without her. Waking up feeling emptier than ever, simultaneously saving the world, but ending her own. She is aware, of Clarke  _ knowing _ , that they _ won't ever  _ meet again. Not in that timeline.  _

 

_ She is aware of Clarke's hope fading.  _

  
  


The sound of a heartbeat monitor woke her from her dream. Alicia's eyes snapped open, taking in her surroundings. 

 

She was laying in a hospital bed, in a hospital room. There were no windows and the walls looked like they were made of concrete. 

 

Her bed was the last in a row of five, against one of the cold walls. Sleeping on the bed next to her, was Elyza, hooked up to the beeping monitor. 

 

She let out a sigh of relief as she took in the girl in front of her. Elyza's cheeks were pink, a good sign. 

 

Alicia slowly sat up, pushing herself out of her bed. Her bare feet hit the cold ground, it was concrete as well. 

 

She shuffled the short distance to Elyza's bed and sat down, trying not to jostle her too much. Elyza was dressed in a button-up flannel pajama shirt, most likely for easy access to her wound. 

 

Alicia undid one of the buttons, taking a look for herself. The bullet hole was tightly sewn shut. 

 

“Could at least buy a gal dinner first,” Elyza smiled, her voice raspy. 

 

Alicia grinned back, pulling her fingers away from her shirt. 

 

“I'm really glad you're okay,” Alicia said quietly. 

 

Elyza's hand found hers and squeezed tightly. “You've lost enough for both lifetimes,” she replied. 

 

Alicia's smile fell. “You can say that again,” she said, her eyes downcast. 

 

“How are you holding up?” Elyza asked. 

 

“You just got shot in the chest and you're asking me how  _ I _ am?” Alicia laughed quietly. 

 

“You're important to me,” Elyza admitted. She scooched over on her bed. “Here,” she said, holding an arm out. 

 

Alicia crawled into the bed, under the thin covers into Elyza's arms. She looked up, pressing a kiss to the corner of her mouth. 

 

Elyza turned her head, capturing Alicia's lips in a proper kiss. “You didn't answer my question,” Elyza mumbled, pulling away. 

 

Alicia ignored her, kissing her again. 

 

“Alicia,” Elyza said, sternly this time. 

 

Alicia sighed. “It's hard, but I'll be okay,” 

 

Elyza was about to respond when the door swung open. 

 

“Mum,” she said, her eyes lighting up. 

 

“Hi baby,” Abby said, entering the room. 

 

“This is…” Elyza paused for a minute. Her heartbeat monitor began beeping faster. “This is Alicia, my girlfriend,” 

 

Alicia blushed, trying to catch her eye, but Elyza held eye contact with her mother. 

 

“It's nice to meet you, Alicia,” Abby smiled. “I'm Abby, Elyza's mum.” 

 

Abby had an accent as well. It wasn't as strong as Rob's, but not as weak as her daughters. 

 

“Is she gonna be okay?” Alicia asked. 

 

“Yes. Actually this necklace saved her life.”

 

She pulled the brass pendant out of her pocket, a large bullet hole punched through the middle, and dropped it in Elyza's hand. 

 

“Can you?” Elyza asked, handing the jewelry to Alicia. 

 

She nodded and Elyza held her hair up as Alicia clasped the necklace.   

 

“You'll be alright, just make sure you take it easy.” Abby said. 

 

“Where'd Rob go?” Elyza asked. 

 

“Thelonious took him to go get the rest of your group,” 

 

Elyza nodded. 

 

“Now Alicia,” Abby began. “Do you pass out often?” 

 

Alicia's brows knitted together. That hardly seemed like a relevant question. 

 

“Yeah, I guess,” she said. 

 

Abby nodded, jotting down a few notes on the clipboard she was holding. “I need to make a call,” Abby said, excusing herself. 

 

Alicia nodded, watching Abby leave the room. 

 

“Girlfriend, huh?” Alicia asked, raising an eyebrow. 

 

The heartbeat monitor sped up again and Alicia laughed. 

 

“My heartbeat is outing me,” Elyza laughed nervously. 

 

Alicia pressed closer to her. 

 

“But yeah, I meant to mention that, but then my mom came in.” Elyza met her eyes. “Is that okay?” 

 

“That's more than okay,” Alicia grinned. 

 

Elyza grinned back, pressing a kiss to Alicia's lips. 

 

Abby knocked before entering this time. 

 

“Alicia, I'd like to take you on a tour if you're up for it,” Abby said, looking at her expectantly. 

 

Alicia looked to Elyza who smiled and nodded. 

 

“Sure,” she replied, pushing herself out of Elyza's bed. She slipped on the flats by the side of her bed and began to leave the room, stopping to press a kiss to Elyza's temple. “See you in a bit.”

 

She followed Abby into the hallway. 

 

“Do you know what we do here?” Abby asked as they began walking. 

 

“No,” Alicia lied. 

 

“We’re looking for a cure. An end to all of this.” Abby began. 

 

Alicia waited for her to continue. 

 

“I only asked because a few of my patients are experiencing similar things. Blackouts, I mean. We think something's triggering them.” Abby said as they turned the corner. 

 

Alicia didn't know how to respond. They walked in silence for a moment through the maze of hallways. 

 

“I'd love to show you our testing facility.” Abby said to fill the silence. 

 

Abby stopped them at a door that said “No Unauthorized Access” and swiped her key card. 

 

Behind the door was a room that looked an awful lot like the science lab in her school. Computers lined the walls, a woman sitting in front of one of them. 

 

“Dr. Tsing?” Abby asked. 

 

The woman turned, looking Alicia over. 

 

“This is Alicia, she's part of the Returned,” Abby said, lowering her voice on the last part. 

 

“The Returned?” Alicia asked, fear rising to the surface. 

 

Dr.Tsing gave Abby a hard look. 

 

Dr.Tsing pulled a walkie-talkie off of her belt. “Cage, could you come down to testing, please? Someone would like to speak with you,” She said into the mic. 

 

His response was immediate. “Be right down.” 

 

The doctor returned her attention to Alicia. “I’ll explain the Returned. Would you please follow me,” She stood up. 

 

The nagging in her gut told her not to, but she followed anyways. 

 

Dr.Tsing took her through a doorway to another hallway, more narrow this time. Alicia heard a door open behind them and they stopped. 

It was Jackson. 

 

“Hey Abby,” he began nervously. “You're needed in the med room,” He said. 

 

Abby nodded, exiting the hallway and out of the locked door. 

 

“Lets keep going,” Dr. Tsing said, gaining her attention again. 

 

They began walking again, then Alicia felt a pinch on her shoulder. She immediately fell to the ground. The last thing Alicia saw before she passed out, was Jackson standing over her, holding a needle. 

 

~*~

 

Alicia woke up with a pounding headache. She groaned, pressing her fingers into her temples. She was in room with the same concrete walls, with a metal door with a small window. 

 

“She’s up,” A woman’s voice said. 

 

Alicia jumped, turning to face the voice. Staring back at her was Ekko kom Azgeda. 

 

She heart jumped into her throat. “Echo,” She gasped. 

 

Echo smirked. “You remember,” 

 

Alicia stiffened. 

 

“Wow,” Another voice said. 

 

Alicia snapped out of it, noticing the rest of the people in the room. Around the room sat Lincoln, Maya, Roan, and the girls from Blackridge: Gina, Monroe, and Charlotte. 

 

A wave of nausea washed over her. She stood up quickly, her vision going black. Alicia clenched her eyes shut. “Don't,” She groaned to herself. 

 

“Have you not finished your timeline?” Echo asked. 

 

“Considering I just watched myself die, I’m going to guess that I have.” She growled, pressing her temples, willing her vision back. 

 

“If you had, this wouldn't be happening,” Echo pushed. 

 

Alicia took a deep breath, sitting back down. “What is this place?” She asked with a sigh, ignoring Echo. 

 

“We’re in the testing facility of Lake Burba,” Lincoln said, drawing the words out with his annoyance. 

 

“Yeah and we were planning on breaking out until  _ you _ showed up,” Roan complained.

 

“Why do I feel like it's your fault that we’re here?” Gina asked. 

 

“You know how you got here Gina,” Lincoln cut in. “Andrew brought you in,” 

 

“What is going on?” Alicia asked again, louder this time. 

 

Roan sighed. “Okay so,” He began. “All of this was set up by Jackson.” 

 

“Jackson?” Alicia exclaimed. 

 

Roan glared at her, clearly unconcerned that he is sassing his commander. 

 

Alicia shut up. 

 

“Jackson was trying to round up all of The Returned-”

 

“What’s The Returned?” Alicia interrupted. 

 

“Those who have been reincarnated. Now let me talk.” He said. 

 

Alicia nodded. 

 

“Jackson believes that The Returned can cure the virus. He did some basic tests to try and trigger the memories by force, among other tests, and came up with a few options. The luck and survivability could be used to enhance humans so they could live with the infected in a less dangerous environment. Jackson and the director of the Underground Science and Medicine Society, or USMS, Cage, worked with Dr.Tsing to basically isolate and concentrate what they call ‘immortality serum’. They boil our blood down or something. Cage also has a theory that if he just kills himself, he will be rid of this world and can just start again in a better timeline. There’s no way to test that though.” He said with a laugh. 

 

“And Abby is part of this too?” Alicia asked. 

 

Roan shook his head. “She got involved when the USMS was actually looking for a proper cure. She’s not even allowed back here. But that’s when Lincoln and Maya were found.” 

 

“It's actually all my fault,” Lincoln said. “When I was brought in, I was Ricky, a banker in Baltimore. When I met Maya, all my memories came back. Jackson jumped on that.” 

 

“Jackson had Abby bring in anyone who passed out a lot, had intense lucid dreams, or flashbacks. He also had his buddy Andrew down in Blackridge collect them as well which is how we ended up with those three,” He said, pointing to the girls in the corner. “Andrew actually found you and Clar-” He coughed. “You and Elyza, by accident when you went to Blackridge. Now this is where it gets messy. Andrew identified Elyza as Abby’s daughter and identified you and a bunch of people from your group as Returned. Dr.Tsing learned that Maya’s boyfriend was from Anaheim, so she called Dvon and promised that she wouldn't hurt Maya if he brought all of you here.” 

 

“Dvon betrayed us?” Alicia asked, horrified. 

 

“He didn't have much choice. And that’s basically it.” Roan said. 

 

“You forgot the Volatile.” Lincoln added. 

 

“Right. The Volatile. The first batch of Immortality Serum was injected into the infected and they essentially ended up mutating. They were released because they couldn't be contained safely.” Roan added. 

 

“We saw some on the way up,” Alicia said. 

 

Roan nodded. 

 

“Now what of this escape plan?” She asked. 

 

“They come to check our vitals every 30 minutes or so. When you came in they checked us, so we decided to wait. Next time them come in, we’re going to rush them.” Roan said. 

 

“And that’ll work?” Alicia asked. 

 

“We have to hope so.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for bein patient with me!


	18. With Every Fiber of Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for some candles

  
The 30 minutes went by incredibly slowly. Alicia half listened as Maya explained how she met Dvon, and how before the outbreak, she was moving down to California to live with him.

Lincoln stood at the door, looking out the small window and keeping watch for Dr.Tsing.

“She’s coming,” Lincoln, said ducking away from the window. “In your places,” He muttered.

“Just follow my lead,” Maya smiled quietly.

  
“Against the wall,” Dr.Tsing boomed, entering the room.

As Alicia turned to face the wall, the glint of Lincoln’s makeshift knife caught her eye. She copied Maya, putting her hands against the wall above her head, like she was in prison. Well she is in prison.

Dr.Tsing patted down Charlotte first, then Gina, and Monroe, making her way down the line. When she got to Lincoln, he turned, pinning her to the wall and slit her throat without any hesitation.

“We need to go,” He said, the doctor’s body hitting the ground with a soft thud. He shoved his knife into the back of her skull, and took her keycard off her belt.

They filed out into the skinny hallway. There was an emergency exit to the left, and the main entrance to their right. There was also another door on the wall to the left.

Jackson walked by the main entrance, then paused and walked back, looking through the window. “Hey!” He yelled, pulling out his keycard.

“Go!” Lincoln yelled, running towards the emergency exit.

“Throw me the card, I’ll make a distraction,” Roan said from the back of the line.

Lincoln scanned the card reader on the exit and tossed the card to Roan.

Roan scanned the card reader on a door that said “Live testing”. He ripped the door open outwards, cringing as an alarm went off. The hallway was narrow enough that when he opened the door, it could be pulled back to block the hallways. Infected flooded the open side of the hallway, pushing Jackson back into the room he was in. The infected couldn't get passed the door, but if all of them pushed, they could snap it off it's hinges.

Alicia followed the group into the emergency stairwell, watching as the door shut behind her.

“What about Roan?” She yelled to Lincoln as he began descending the stairs.

“I’ll be fine, go without me,” Roan called as he held the door back. The door made a loud cracking sound.

“I need to get Elyza and Abby,” Alicia yelled, stopping Lincoln.

“C’mon,” Lincoln said, running back up the stairs. “Echo, you need to stay and make sure Roan gets out. Gina,” he paused. “You take the rest of the girls out of here.”

“What about weapons? For fighting the infected?” She asked.

“There are dead walkers on the rooftops in Severn on 174. Cover yourself in their blood and meet us at Baltimore/Washington International. We have a plane.” Alicia said.

Gina nodded, taking off down the stairs.

“Maya,” Lincoln called, making her stop. “You’re coming with us.”

“Where did you last see them?” Lincoln asked, heading up the stairs.

“I was in a hospital bed. A room of hospital beds.” Alicia replied.

“Floor 5,” he said, running up the stairs now.

Alicia and Maya tried their best to keep up.

“Are there guards?” Alicia huffed.

“Doubt it,” Lincoln said, pushing through the Level 5 door. “They’re all probably trying to deal with the situation in the basement.”

They raced down the winding hallways towards the nurse station and hospital room.

“Get Elyza, I’ll get Abby,” Lincoln commanded, running into the station.

“You keep watch,” Alicia told Maya as she barged into the hospital room.

Elyza was sitting on the bed, right where she left her. She wondered how long she was gone.

“Alicia?” Elyza asked.

“We gotta get out of here,” Alicia said, running over to Elyza.

“What’s going on?” Elyza asked.

Alicia pulled the blankets off Elyza, putting her socks and shoes on for her. “I’ll explain on the way,” Alicia said, pulling Elyza up.

“Can you run?” She asked.

“Probably,” Elyza said, grabbing her bag and Alicia’s, handing it to the younger girl.

They ran into the hallway, meeting up with Abby, Lincoln, and Maya.

“How do we get out?” Alicia asked, heading toward the front stairs.

“Out the front,” Lincoln said, taking the lead.

They went down the five flights of stairs, Elyza leaning on Alicia so heavily she was practically carrying her.

They broke out into the open and Alicia tried to absorb as much information as she could. She squinted against the setting sun.

She turned around, facing the building they came out of. Alicia expected to be leaving the Fort George G. Meade building, but they ended coming out of the DISA Office, on Llewellyn Ave.

“This way,” Lincoln said, pulling them toward the right.

They took off running down the main street toward Severn.

They ran as far as they could, pacing themselves for the 9 miles ahead.

“We need to get to the airport,” Elyza huffed, holding onto her chest as she ran, trying to keep her stitches in place.

“We need to find Rob,” Alicia added.

They kept running until Alicia’s sides hurt and she wanted to puke.

The trees began getting denser.

“We’re close to Severn,” Alicia announced.

Lincoln slowed to a walk. “Where would Rob be?” He asked.

“I wonder if Wells is still there.” Elyza said, trying to catch her breath.

They walked the rest of the way through Severn, surprised to find the Volatile were gone.

“Is this the building we climbed?” Alicia asked, examining the broken ladder.

“Looks like it,” Elyza said. “Push me up?”

Alicia nodded, clasping her hands together for Elyza to step on.

“Be careful,” Abby warned.

Elyza stepped into Alicia’s hands, pulling herself up the ladder, climbing to the top.

“You’re not going to believe this,” Elyza called down.

“What?” Alicia asked.

“They’re gone.” She paused. “The bodies of the Volatile, they’re all gone.”

“Is there any blood still up there?” Alicia asked. “You should rub some on yourself.”

“If I do, will you pass out?” Elyza teased.

“Okay, it was one time.” Alicia laughed.

“It was definitely more than once,” Elyza said, starting down the ladder again. Her front was covered in dark blood, almost like she belly flopped into it.

“Everybody gets hugs,” she said as Alicia helped her down.

Alicia got pulled into a wet hug first.

“Ew,” She complained, pushing Elyza off. “How many of my shirts have you ruined with blood now?” She asked with a laugh.

“That's not even your shirt, it's mine,” Elyza smiled, hugging Lincoln then her mother, and lastly Maya.

“C’mon,”

They got to the underpass where they met Wells and Chelsea and was surprised to see that they were still sitting there, covered in blood.

“Oh thank god,” Wells said, shooting up.

“Have you seen Rob?” Elyza asked, running up to them.

“Yeah, and you’re not going to believe this,” Chelsea added.

“What's going on?” Alicia asked.

“Rob came by with my goddamn dad, of all people and I almost got up and said something, but my dad threw a punch at Rob, trying to knock him out I assume, and Rob fucking dodged it, trying to reason with him.” Wells said.

“Wait,” Abby said. “Thelonious Jaha is your father?”

“Unfortunately.” Wells replied. “He’s the head of the Severn City Council. The kids at school used to love me.”

“But like I was saying,” Wells started, clearing his throat. “They were yelling at each other for a bit, but the commotion must have gotten the attention of the Volatile because a group of 8 or 9 of them came out of nowhere, and they ran. My dad had a gun to your friends back.” He paused. “On the other side of town, the end of 170 onto 32, our friend Miller and his boyfriend Bryan are doing the same thing as us, warning people to stay out of the city. I tapped out some morse code telling Rob to go there, but I don't know if he knows morse code, or even heard the message at all.”

“How long ago was this?” Abby asked.

“40 minutes. I radioed to Miller to be ready for them, but he hasn't responded which is unusual.” Chelsea answered.

“We have to go there then and see if he made it.” Elyza said.

Alicia nodded.

“The sun is going down fast, Elyza. Is it safe?” Abby asked.

“Why don't you go to the plane and warn the others then, mom,” Elyza suggested.

Abby nodded. “You take care of her,” She said to Alicia.

Alicia swallowed hard. “Of course.”

Abby turned, continuing to follow 170 up.

“We have to hurry,” Lincoln said. “Abby’s right about the sun,”

They were all drenched in sweat, covered in grime and blood. The last thing Alicia wanted to do was run more.

Lincoln started running when he didn't get a response and Alicia had no choice but to follow.

-

They had only been running for 15 minutes when Elyza stopped.

“Wait,” She called out.

The group slowed to a stop.

“This blood is mine,” she said. She pulled her fingers out from under her shirt. They were coated in wet blood.

“Shit,” Alicia said, coming up to Elyza.

“We don't have time,” Lincoln urged.

Alicia sighed. “You two go, I'll stay with her, bring her back.”

Lincoln didn't even nod, just began running again. Maya rolled her eyes, following reluctantly.

“Come here,” Alicia said, helping Elyza over to the grass.

Elyza fell to the ground with a thud.

“Shit,” Alicia muttered, sitting between Elyza’s legs.

Alicia began undoing the buttons on Elyza’s flannel.

“Shit are you not wearing a bra?” Alicia asked, undoing the last button.

“Well you’ve been touching my chest so much today I thought I’d make it easier for you.” She smirked.

Alicia blushed. “Well your stitches came undone. Not too much, but a little.”

“You're going to have to hold it shut then until it stops bleeding.” Elyza said laying back onto the grass.

“Excuse me?” Alicia laughed.

“Baby I need you to hold my bullet hole shut,” Elyza said in an unnecessarily sexual voice.

“You’re awful,” Alicia said.

“I’m serious though.” Elyza said.

Alicia sighed, straddling Elyza’s hips and pushing the skin between her breasts together.

“I really am touching your chest a lot today,” she commented.

“Honestly, though.” Elyza replied. “Not even in a fun way.”

“If we make it out of this alive, I’ll touch your chest anyway you want,” Alicia grinned.

“Shit, can’t you do that now?” Elyza complained.

“My hands are a little busy right now,” Alicia said.

“Your mouth isn’t,” Elyza smirked, her brow ticking upwards.

Alicia swallowed hard, her mouth going dry. “You cannot be propositioning me on the side of the road while your chest is bleeding in the middle of an apocalypse.”

“It was sexy as hell when you took down the guy that shot me,” Elyza said, ignoring her. “I didn't even know you could shoot like that,” Elyza said, her voice dropping lower as she ran her hands up Alicia’s thighs.

Alicia groaned. “Is there any blood getting to your head, or is it all coming out of your chest?”

“The blood’s definitely rushing somewhere,”

“Elyza!” She laughed.

“Alicia!” A voice yelled.

Alicia’s head shot up to see Anya and Gustus running at them.

“Thank goodness you’re okay,” Gustus said, dropping down next to Elyza. “Let's get you two back.”

  
~*~

After Alicia and Elyza were taken back to the plane, they didn't have to wait long for Lincoln and Maya to return with Rob. He was a little cut up, but overall alright. They decided to stay in a nearby hotel while fuel was gathered for the plane. Going back to Crestine seemed like the best idea, but they didn't want to leave until the girls from Blackridge showed up (or didn't). Besides, they all desperately needed a shower.

“This hotel is creepy as fuck,” Elyza commented as she climbed the stairs with Alicia.

Lindsi got the generator working and the water pumping but not the elevator.

“The dead walk the earth and it's hotels that creep you out?” Alicia asked with a laugh.

They got to the top floor, aiming for the honeymoon suite.

“I think it’s the carpet,”

Alicia laughed, shoving Elyza lightly.

Alicia kicked the door of the suite open, bat held high.

After a quick once over of the room and connected bathroom, Alicia flopped onto the large bed.

“Come shower with me,” Elyza said, catching Alicia’s hand and tugging lightly.

Alicia raised an eyebrow.

“You need to help me so I don't get my stitches wet,” she said, tugging again.

Alicia got up, allowing herself to be pulled into the bathroom. Elyza locked the door behind them.

“You're not taking me in here to murder me right?” Alicia laughed.

“Y’know I thought about it, but you're just too wonderful,” Elyza said, kissing her cheek.

Alicia blushed and Elyza turned to the shower, turning it on.

“We survived today,” Elyza said, stalking back toward Alicia as she unbuttoned the top of her shirt. “You know what that means,”

“I do,” Alicia grinned, replacing Elyza’s hands with her own and undoing the rest of the buttons.

Alicia slid the flannel off her shoulders, taking a second to make sure the stitches were okay. She grabbed a face cloth off the towel rack and dipped it in the steaming water. She rung it out and pressed it to the wound, dissolving the dried blood.

Elyza grasped the bottom of Alicia’s shirt, pulling. Alicia lifted her arms, letting the shirt be pulled over her head. Elyza then unsnapped her bra, letting it fall to the floor with the rest of the discarded clothes.

Elyza pulled the rest of her clothes off and entered the shower. Alicia followed, stipping her clothes off and joining Elyza. She was immediately pressed to the cold shower wall, hot water flowing over her aching muscles as Elyza pulled her into a kiss.

She moaned, mainly from the hot water, but also because the things Elyza can do with her tongue are sinful.

“Let me wash your hair,” Elyza whispered, pulling away.

Alicia nodded, letting her hair soak up the water.

“I haven’t used real shampoo in ages,” she commented as Elyza poured hotel shampoo into her palm.

“Me neither, I can't wait to get the blood out of my hair,” Elyza agreed.

Alicia moved out of the water spray, turning her back on Elyza. She worked the shampoo into her hair, dragging her nails against her scalp.

“Fuck, me,” Alicia groaned, goosebumps erupting over her upper arms.

“Getting to that,” Elyza smirked.

“What has gotten into you lately?” Alicia asked, turning to wash the shampoo out.

Alicia moved, letting Elyza wet her hair as she poured shampoo into her hands.

“I think I’m getting my period soon,” Elyza said, tilting her head back so Alicia could wash her hair.

“Yeah? How does that work?”

“Well, Alicia, between the ages between 9 and 14, a girl-”

“Not what I meant, you oaf,” Alicia laughed.

Elyza rinsed out her hair.

“I mean how does that work with the blood thirsty monsters roaming the earth.” Alicia clarified.

“We’re gonna find out,” Elyza said. “This is my first time getting it since the outbreak.”

“None of the other girls had it?”

“Lindsi and I are synced up and I don't think Anya gets hers at all,” Elyza shrugged. “Not my business.” She paused. “But I also think it could just be you,”

“Me?” Alicia asked.

“Yes, you. You’re sexy as fuck,” Elyza admitted, squirting some of the hotel’s body wash onto a shower poof.

“Oh, stop,” Alicia blushed.

“Seriously,” Elyza said, rubbing the poof over Alicia’s chest in small circles. “Everything you do turns me on,”

Alicia smiled bashfully.

“You always smell so good,” Elyza began, soaping up her shoulders. “The way you bite your lip when you’re trying not to laugh at my jokes,” She pressed a kiss to Alicia’s neck. “The way your breath catches when I kiss you,” She turned Alicia away from her, washing the back of her neck and down her back. She moved Alicia’s hair over one of her shoulders and kissed along the column of her neck. “And your legs. Oh my god, your legs.”

“Really?” Alicia asked shyly.

“Really,” Elyza said, running her soapy hands over Alicia’s stomach. “Feel for yourself,”

Elyza took Alicia’s hand and guided her hand between her legs. Elyza was soaked, her wetness dripping down Alicia’s fingers even without help from the shower water.

“Shit,” Alicia gasped. Alicia’s fingers ghosted over her clit and she let out a whine.

“Maybe we should get out now,” Alicia suggested.

Elyza nodded quickly, shutting the water off and hopping out.

Alicia giggled at her urgency.

Elyza grabbed a towel from the rack and dried herself off, Alicia doing the same. Elyza collected her hair into a bun on top of her head and took Alicia’s hand, leading her into the bedroom, not bothering with clothes.

“Fuck it's cold,” Alicia hissed.

Elyza’s eyes lit up comically as she sat on the bed. “Do you still have those candles?”

“Yeah,” Alicia breathed out, going to bag and pulling out the box of candles.

“Grab a lighter from my bag,” Elyza said.

Alicia pulled the black lighter out of her bag pocket and tossed it to Elyza.

“Here,” Alicia said, passing the box to Elyza and sitting on the bed.

Elyza pushed Alicia back on the bed, straddling her hips and capturing her lips in a kiss.

“You're soaked,” Alicia whispered against her lips as Elyza’s center slid across her lower stomach.

Elyza moaned in agreement, kissing her hungrily.

Elyza moved to kiss down her jaw, sucking a dark mark onto her pulse point.

“Candles,” Alicia moaned.

“Oh right,” Elyza giggled, leaning back and grabbing the box. “What color?”

“Uh, green.”

“Like your eyes,” Elyza smiled.

“You're such a sap,” Alicia laughed.

“You love it,” Elyza accused, lighting the candle.

“Is it gonna hurt?” Alicia asked quietly.

Elyza shifted, her clit bumping Alicia’s hipbone. She let out a gasp and blushed.

“Y’know what,” Alicia began.

“Wh-”

Elyza didn't have time to finish as Alicia flipped them, settling between Elyza’s legs.

“I know you’re trying to be selfless,” Alicia began, taking one of her nipples in her mouth, swirling her tongue over the stiffening bud. Elyza whined loudly. “But if I don't touch you, you're going to explode,”

Elyza wrapped her legs around Alicia’s waist, pressing her center against Alicia’s lower stomach.

Alicia kissed her, sucking her lower lip into her mouth, biting gently. She kissed down her neck, sucking marks all down her throat, then her collarbones, and down her chest.

She unlocked Elyza’s legs, kissing dark marks down her stomach and over her hips. She scooted back, kissing the inside of Elyza’s thighs, sucking bruises onto her milky skin. She kissed closer to her center, on the crease of her inner thigh. She breathed across her heat, kissing back up her other leg.

“Stop teasing,” Elyza moaned.

Alicia complied, licking down Elyza’s slit, dipping into her entrance.

“Fuck,” Elyza cried, her voice strained.

Alicia slipped her tongue in farther, licking her velvety walls. Elyza clenched around her and Alicia’s clit throbbed with want.

“Don't stop,” Elyza moaned, tears springing to her eyes.

Alicia licked into her, pressing her tongue against her walls.

Elyza whined, arching her back. “More,” She cried, tangling her fingers in Alicia’s hair, tugging hard.

Alicia replaced her tongue with 3 of her slender fingers and sucked on Elyza’s clit.

Elyza came with a cry, her walls fluttering around Alicia’s fingers, her back arching off the bed. Alicia worked her through as Elyza let out broken little sounds, shuttering, then falling limp on her back, breathing hard.

“Shit,” Alicia said, sliding her fingers out and laying next to Elyza.

“I'm gonna have to take another shower,” Elyza said, still trying to catch her breath.

“Go ahead,” Alicia smiled.

“Nah, we have a candle to go through first,” She smirked, sitting up.

“You're not too tired?” Alicia asked.

Elyza shook her head. “And to answer your first question,” she began, straddling Alicia. “It shouldn't hurt, it's just warm, but not everyone is into it. If you want to stop you have to tell me,”

“Okay,” Alicia replied.

Elyza rolled the candle between her fingers. It was malleable, meaning that the melting point is lower so the wax won't be as hot when it lands. She picked up the box again, quickly reading the back. It looked like the different colors of candles were different melting points. The red ones being the hardest and the clear ones being the softest. The box also said the clear were best for the most sensitive parts of the body; the lower part. Elyza put the blue back and picked up the third softest candle, a purple one.

“Let's use this one, it burns at a lower temperature so it will be gentle. We can go hotter later if you want.” Elyza said.

“Alright,” Alicia said.

“Is that okay?”

“Yeah, I’m excited,”

Elyza nodded, lighting the candle, holding it a foot or so higher than her chest.

  
A few drops of wax fell, landing on Alicia’s chest. She hummed.

“Good?”

“Good.”

Elyza tilted the candle farther, letting a thin stream of wax splatter across her chest.

“It's not doing much for me,” Alicia admitted.

“Let me try one more thing,” Elyza said. Alicia nodded.

Elyza poured the wax in a thick stream right across her nipples.

Alicia let out a surprised yelp that turned into a moan as the wax hardened.

“Better?”

“Much,” Alicia replied.

Elyza scooted back down her thighs, dripping the wax in a stream down her stomach. She grabbed one of the clear candles, lighting it from the purple one, then blowing the purple one out.

“Spread your legs,” Elyza smirked.

Alicia grinned, opening her legs around Elyza.

Elyza squeezed the clear candle and it flattened between her fingers. Elyza dripped the candle in a thick straight line down the center of her lower stomach, then down over her clit.

Alicia groaned, her head tipping back, her lips parted.

Elyza slipped her middle finger into her heat, earning a moan from the younger girl. She peeled the wax off Alicia’s clit with her thumb, then pouring more on.

“Fuck” Alicia breathed. “Another,”

“How many?” Elyza asked.

“Three,”

Elyza slipped in two more fingers, moaning at the stretch. Alicia whimpered, and Elyza could see her walls clenching around her fingers.

Elyza moved her hand and Alicia winced.

“Shit are you okay?” Elyza asked, stiling her hand.

“Your fingers are wider than mine,” she whispered. “I just need a second.” The thought of Alicia’s fingers inside herself effected Elyza more than she’d like to admit.

“Should I take one-”

“You better not,” Alicia interrupted.

Elyza waited while Alicia clenched around her, her wetness leaking down her fingers.

“C-Can you do more wax?” she asked quietly.

“Of course,” Elyza replied. She peeled the thin layer of wax off her clit again and poured more. Alicia whined, grinding her hips down on Elyza’s fingers. Elyza pressed her fingers up, stroking her front walls with her fingertips.

Elyza kept peeling the wax off and pouring more while stroking her, faster and faster, Alicia’s voice becoming strained and desperate. She came with a gasp, clenching around Elyza’s fingers. She pulled her fingers out one by one, licking each of them clean.

“You're the one who’s sexy as fuck,” Alicia said, pulling Elyza down to cuddle.

“Nah,” Elyza replied.

“Uhm, the way you just licked your fingers says otherwise,” Alicia teased.

Elyza took Alicia’s hand to her mouth, sucking two of her fingers into the back of her throat, licking between them.

“That?” Elyza asked with a smirk.

“Yes, that.”

Elyza was quiet for a moment.

“I think we need to talk,” Elyza began.

“About what?” Alicia asked, anxiety beginning to bubble in her chest.

“About Clarke.” Elyza said.

Alicia stiffened. “What about her?”

“I look just like her you said. Is seeing me painful? I just don't want to be some kind of replacement.” She admitted.

Alicia sighed. “You do look just like her, but you and Clarke are quite different. Probably because you aren't balancing the weight of the world on your shoulders.”

“Are we the same person?” Elyza asked.

“Technically. Gutus says you are, but the way the world is, and the way you were raised shaped you into who you are today. Anya said we’re soulmates, no matter who we are or what world we’re in.”

“Clarke is your soulmate?” Elyza asked.

“You and Clarke are the same people,” Alicia said again.

Elyza paused, her eyes widening. “Am I your soulmate?”

Alicia nodded quickly, tears coming to her eyes.

“I knew you were special,” Elyza began, tears falling down her cheeks. “I was so scared to love you because I thought you would always be hung up on Clarke or…” She drifted off. “I just love you so much,”

Alicia always knew deep down that she loved Elyza, but seeing Clarke and Elyza at the same time was what took a minute.

“Listen to me,” Alicia began, taking Elyza’s hands. “I have been in love with you, Elyza, since I was born in the other world, and until my final breath of my final life I will always be in love with you.”

  
And for once, everything finally worked out.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all get the epilogue and authors note later


	19. Epilogue

Epilogue. 

 

 

After the fuel was collected, Alicia, Elyza, Rob, Marie, Lindsi, Anya, Gustus, Chris, Dvon, and Ofelia, along with Abby, Lincoln, and Maya decided to go back to Crestline and start a home there. They moved into the neighborhood and began putting walls up.

When Lincoln was introduced to the group, he had an undeniable connection with Marie and they’ve been connected at the hip ever since.

Lindsi and Anya decided to get over themselves, putting their pride aside and tried dating. Dating without labels that is. It’s going well.

Dvon and Maya, now reunited began growing marijuana among other herbs and Maya made medicine, working closely with Abby as a student.

Abby did end up getting in contact with Governor Kane and is working with the state of California to actually find a cure.

Chris and Lindsi fixed up an old radio broadcasting tower and Ofelia and Gustus became the greatest post-apocalyptic radio hosts the world has ever known.

Elyza and Alicia moved in together, and lead most of the looting trips being that they worked so well together. Hell, they spent all of their time together. Elyza and Alicia were so disgustingly cute all the time that people started to wonder if they were soulmates or something….

 

 

 

 

 

  
  
;)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Come here,” Elyza called, chasing Alicia in their backyard. There was a large oak tree in the back of their fenced yard.

“I need to show you something,” Elyza said, catching up to Alicia and wrapping her arms around her from behind.

“Yeah?” Alicia asked, turning to kiss Elyza’s cheek.

Elyza pulled away, moving to sit under the tree, Alicia following.

“What is it?” Alicia asked, sitting cross legged.

Elyza took a red cloth from out of her bra and laid it on the grass, rolling it out. On the strip of fabric was a crudely put together tattoo needle and a vial of ink.

Alicia’s eyes lit up. “Are you going to tattoo me?” She asked.

“I can, but I’d actually like you to tattoo me,”

Alicia looked surprised. “Uh, I can try my best,”

“It’ll be easy,” Elyza said as she took her shirt off, leaving herself only in a bra. “I want you to finish my infinity symbol,” She said shyly.

“Really?” Alicia gasped.

Elyza nodded.

Alicia took a deep breath, grabbing the needle and dipping it in the ink. “I don't wanna hurt you,” she said.

“You won't,” Elyza reassured her.

Alicia pressed the needle into her skin, slowly filling in the gap, poke by poke. She worked quietly, building up the dots into a solid line.

“Do you know what you’ve just done?” Elyza asked quietly when Alicia finished.

“Hmm?” Alicia asked, cleaning her chest with alcohol.

“You’ve completed me, Alicia. You make me complete.”

 

 

 

 

 


	20. Chapter 20

  
Authors Note.   
  
Oh man oh man this story. It’s finally finished y’all, would you look at that. I’ve been working on this damn thing for 7 months and it's finally done! When I started writing this, I had never written anything worth mentioning, now this is my biggest and best piece I’ve ever made. It is simultaneously by child and the bane of my existence. I left the end kinda open in case I pick this AU up again, (I doubt I will tbh) but it's always an option. I will probably work to finish that drug AU and the housewife AU and maybe start something new. Who fucking knows. Leave suggestions or something.

  
  
I actually followed a real map when I wrote this, I’ll link it [here](https://www.google.com/maps/d/edit?mid=1JqRtdzk6NE_yIVsw2Cl-jOdxSYs), and I have pages upon pages of notes (I might link them too) ((Because they are a fucking mess))  
  
Well goodbye Interwoven Lovers. It’s been a good one y’all. Love you all. And shit. Follow my [Tumblr](heda-over-heels-in-love.tumblr.com)


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